Lia_Mackenzie

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Lia_Mackenzie

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 24 October 1987 (29 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 4857
  • Number of comments : 111
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About Lia_Mackenzie : I'm a college graduate with a degree in creative writing. I WILL pick on your bad grammar.
I also have a degree in psychology. I will probably diagnose you with my handy-dandy DSM.
I also enjoy singing karaoke, writing until my hands stop working, and Schaudenfreude. I also enjoy Sigmund Freud (in the sense that I think he was a chauvinistic douchebag), and aspire to be a clinical psychologist.
...
Writing and psychology go hand-in-hand, I promise.

Lia_Mackenzie's page activity

Visits<b>apaton</b> - the 04/22/2016 at 11:49am<b>karacakal2</b> - the 02/17/2016 at 4:05am<b>reillyg11</b> - the 05/07/2015 at 7:32pm<b>battlehamster</b> - the 03/22/2015 at 2:44am<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 01/27/2015 at 12:08pm<b>LittleBastard</b> - the 11/11/2014 at 11:41pm<b>macncheeze97</b> - the 11/07/2014 at 1:00am<b>cryssycakesx3</b> - the 09/24/2014 at 1:04am<b>theoneandonlybro</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 10:48am<b>rocker_chick23</b> - the 08/20/2014 at 3:22pm<b>dimos4ever</b> - the 07/27/2014 at 4:23am<b>Mahak1099</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 6:13pm<b>wellfme</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 10:49am<b>mandafager</b> - the 05/26/2014 at 10:40am<b>RabbidIbanez</b> - the 04/11/2014 at 3:20pm<b>leekoon</b> - the 02/08/2014 at 1:16am<b>alexmac222</b> - the 01/26/2014 at 1:17am<b>shellykjelly</b> - the 01/26/2014 at 12:54am

Fucked!<b>karacakal2</b> - the 02/17/2016 at 10:05am

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Lia_Mackenzie's favorite FMLs

Today, me and my girlfriend were getting at it, and then my parents came home. I heard them and we scrambled to get our clothes on. My dad came into the room and found me wearing her pants inside out with her thong around my legs. FML

by Anonymous / 03/01/2011 at 11:21am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, while sitting on the couch, my boyfriend came over, pulled his penis out of his fly, and started stabbing me in the face with it while humming the Jaws theme. FML

by Anonymous / 02/15/2011 at 2:28pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy

Today, I felt like spicing up our marriage, so I thought I'd surprise my husband when he got home from work. I put on my sexiest teddy, lit some candles, and laid on the bed. He walked in the room, looked at me for a second, farted, then asked me what was for dinner. FML

by Anonymous / 12/05/2010 at 1:57am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I dropped my iPod Touch underneath concrete slab steps, and it's physically impossible to get it back. If you stand above where the iPod is, you can still hear it play music. It's like it's mocking me. FML

by Anonymous / 09/20/2010 at 7:38pm / Canada (Ontario) / Geek

Today, my schlong decided to enter Mortal Kombat with my pants zipper. Guess which of the two won a flawless victory? FML

by liu_kang / 03/16/2010 at 2:55pm / United States / Health

Today, while I was working as a waitress, I had to wait on a table of 13 people. I was struggling through it and when they finally left I went by the table to pick up my tip. Instead of a money I got a napkin saying "Here's your tip, don't be a waitress." FML

by Nick / 07/13/2009 at 10:04pm / United States (Arizona) / Work

Today, I had to clean my walls with those Mr Clean Magic Sponges because we were having visitors. I got bored and started drawing penises with it because they would leave wet marks. There is nothing magic about how slow they dry when your visitors come an hour early. They saw all ten of them. FML

by iJehx / 07/13/2009 at 6:18pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I have to choose between one eyebrow or none because I'm a heavy sleeper and my brother is a moron. FML

by wow / 07/11/2009 at 4:02pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, as I was bent over at my waitressing job an elderly woman walked by and smacked my ass. I looked at her, shocked, and she said, "It was too tempting with you bent over like that, I have a dirty old mind." I didn't know whether to be flattered or horrified. Maybe both. FML

by grannysmack / 07/11/2009 at 5:10am / United States (Iowa) / Work

Today, I was taking a shower and I saw a new body wash that said "radiance ribbons." That sounded a little effeminate, but it smelled manly enough and the only alternative was normal soap, so I used it. Just now, I stepped out into the sun and found out what "radiance ribbons" means. I sparkle. FML

by takinabreak / 07/10/2009 at 1:03pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boss walked in my office to see me busy making a little Post-it dress for my pen. FML

by Anonymous / 07/09/2009 at 12:27pm / France (Midi-Pyrenees) / Miscellaneous

Today, I left the house for a while and when I came back my husband was wearing my lacy lingerie. He looks better in it than I do. FML

by Tonya / 06/27/2009 at 11:01pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, it's been a few days since I decided to give this girl I like the silent treatment.I've been writing on/off with her for a few weeks, but decided to stop a bit, to seem mysterious. When I logged on Facebook today, her status was "..is so happy that annoying guy has stopped writing to me!" FML

by jake / 06/27/2009 at 5:11pm / Denmark (Frederiksborg) / Love

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend. I opened my eyes to see his eyes fixed on something else. I turned my head to see what was so interesting. He was on his iPhone looking up recipes for things to wrap in bacon. FML

by a_B_c_D_e_F_g / 06/27/2009 at 10:29am / United States (Michigan) / Love

Today, I was riding the subway to work. Barely anyone was on because of how early it was. Me and this one guy in a trench coat were in the same cart. His stop came. He walked by me, flashed me, rubbed his penis on my arm, and then ran away really fast. FML

by Anonymous / 06/27/2009 at 4:20am / Japan / Transportation