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Lena1000

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Lena1000

2Fucked!

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  • Birth Date : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 179
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Lena1000's page activity

Visits<b>Voij</b> - the 08/25/2015 at 2:30pm<b>pl0xs3rver</b> - the 08/18/2015 at 7:43am<b>fakedsincerity</b> - the 08/03/2015 at 9:11am<b>mds9986</b> - the 06/05/2015 at 11:45pm<b>ostfaiz</b> - the 10/28/2014 at 11:25am

Fucked!<b>pl0xs3rver</b> - the 08/18/2015 at 5:15pm<b>mds9986</b> - the 06/06/2015 at 5:45am

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Lena1000's favorite FMLs

Today, I got kicked out of McDonalds for "skating" on the floor. The skating was actually me slipping on the wet floor and smacking my head into a table then getting bitched at for leaving blood on the floor. FML

#21420967
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32236) - you deserved it (2487)

On 06/04/2015 at 11:01pm - misc - by jared576 -

Today, I had to pick my brother up from work because he broke down crying. I arrived to find that apparently, you can get so stoned that serving a pregnant woman at a fast food joint moves you to tears over the miracle of life. FML

#21409953
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31065) - you deserved it (2439)

On 05/14/2015 at 10:23am - misc - by sistertaxi - Australia

Today, my thundercunt of a neighbor, who's hated me since I moved in, called the cops on me. He told them he saw me shooting up on drugs. I'm diabetic and was injecting insulin, which he could only have seen by spying on me through my living room window. FML

#21355411
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35347) - you deserved it (2056)

On 02/13/2015 at 3:24pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, my roommate, who happens to be a writer, got so pissed off at his editor that he got drunk, wrapped his arms around my waist, and only stopped when I agreed to spoon him. This is not the first time this has happened either. FML

#20989886
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40205) - you deserved it (5466)

On 12/12/2013 at 3:51am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I went skinny-dipping with my friends. At one point, I jokingly pointed out how one of them had the smallest boobs of us all. She calmly got out of the pond, dried herself, scooped up our clothes and phones, and drove off in her car. The cops she called arrived soon after. FML

#20861665
301 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23578) - you deserved it (68816)

On 08/31/2013 at 12:25pm - misc - by criminal tit offender - United States (Alabama)

Today, my five-year-old daughter called the police to report her stolen nose. FML

#20769088
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55560) - you deserved it (9513)

On 07/07/2013 at 5:57pm - kids - by nosestealer (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my cousin thought it would be cool to put a firecracker in an abandoned birdhouse. Before I could tell him not to, it exploded and about 30 wasps came after me like the wrath of God. FML

#20749556
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49485) - you deserved it (4673)

On 06/27/2013 at 12:27am - animals - by EpicJman2828 (man) - United States

Today, at work at a farm, we got a new calf. It looked like it had to poop, but was having difficulty. About four hours later it still hadn't pooped. Turns out it was born without an actual butthole. It was there, just sealed up by skin. I literally had to cut this poor calf a new butthole. FML

#20617044
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (84612) - you deserved it (4453)

On 04/23/2013 at 10:01pm - animals - by halliemarie1818 - United States

Today, after heavy rain my street flooded. While in my living room, I looked outside to see that my elderly neighbour was outside splashing in a knee deep puddle. He was butt-naked and wearing a snorkel and flippers. FML

#20492744
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30304) - you deserved it (3446)

On 02/04/2013 at 4:15am - misc - by Stunned (man) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, my dad put an onion in my room, telling me spirits won't haunt me and that I won't get sick. He thinks a vegetable will protect me. FML

#20163512
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19920) - you deserved it (2517)

On 11/14/2012 at 7:48pm - health - by duhasiangirl - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, he farted. He blamed it on a "nearby frog." FML

#18320267
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33239) - you deserved it (5605)

On 11/22/2011 at 8:00pm - intimacy - by Gabriela -

Today, thanks to a particularly spicy bowl of noodles, my nose decided it would rather be a fountain. A fountain of blood. FML

#15129596
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28767) - you deserved it (3707)

On 02/26/2011 at 5:59pm - health - by mwja (man) - Sent from mobile version

Today, while on the phone with a client at work, I was planning on saying either "Yeah." or "Uh-huh." Without thinking, I combined the two and ended up saying "Yee-hah," like a cowboy. FML

#6550671
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12810) - you deserved it (31131)

On 12/01/2009 at 12:25pm - work - by Jen (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was waiting after work in a parking lot for my ride and was dancing a little to keep warm. Next thing I know the cops pull up to me and said that someone called in to report someone dancing in an empty parking lot. FML

#4312
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26006) - you deserved it (2806)

On 01/31/2009 at 7:01pm - misc - by HumanNature - Canada (Ontario)



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