About Late_night83 : FML.
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Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
Checking you out
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Late_night83's favorite FMLs
Today, I met this overweight chick and ended up sleeping with her. We were doing it doggy style and it was great until she said, "Milk me like a cow." I can no longer drink milk without hearing that in my head. FML
by chumman / 05/06/2014 at 9:55am / United States (New York) / Intimacy
Today, I saw an elderly gentleman in the street wearing a shirt with a big QR code on it. Amused, I used an app on my phone to decode it. It gave me a shortened web address, which I followed, only to be faced with a picture of the same gentleman naked, grinning, and giving a thumbs up. FML
by Anonymous / 09/15/2013 at 3:53pm / Romania (Bucuresti) / Intimacy
Today, while running on the treadmill at the gym, I tried to wipe some sweat off my brow before it could make its way down into my eye. I ended up poking myself in the eye so hard that I yelped, stumbled and was thrown off the still-moving treadmill while trying to regain my balance. FML
by Ouch / 06/20/2013 at 11:06pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Health
Today, a girl at my tanning salon was ranting about how expensive it was and how she wished there was a cheaper way to get a tan. I joked, "Like from the sun?" She angrily called me a "sassy bitch", screamed to my boss about me, and then threatened to sue us when he kicked her out. FML
by fuck you retail / 05/27/2013 at 4:18pm / United States (California) / Work
by madiison09 / 04/01/2013 at 1:46pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anon / 01/09/2013 at 2:27pm / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous
by life// / 01/08/2013 at 6:56pm / Canada (Alberta) / Animals
by whatever / 11/24/2012 at 2:02am / Canada (Alberta) / Love
by Anonymous / 11/09/2012 at 3:53pm / New Zealand (Gisborne) / Miscellaneous
Today, dressed in my sexiest nightie, I asked my boyfriend in the most sensual voice possible what he'd like me do to for him tonight. His eyed widened, he started clapping wildly and then shrieked, "SPAGHETTI CARBONARA!" FML
by Anonymous / 11/01/2012 at 7:48am / France (Picardie) / Love
Today, I learned that several thousand people in my state got tickets this month for driving and talking on the phone. My mom called to tell me this while I was driving. I'm now part of that statistic. Thanks, mom. FML
by ticketed / 08/28/2012 at 12:04pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 04/23/2012 at 5:51am / United States / Love
by Redhead4life / 03/17/2012 at 8:48pm / United States (Florida) / Kids
Today, my dad was driving me to college. I'd cracked a joke about how old people like him shouldn't be allowed to drive, and I guess he took it personally, what with him speeding straight up to the parking lot wall, and only braking after I started shrieking in terror. FML
by Emma Five / 03/13/2012 at 11:22pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Transportation
Today, I gave my grandparents my old cell to use since they needed an upgrade. I thought I had deleted everything until I received a text from my grandmother. It was a vagina shot I had taken for my fiancé with a message that said "You need to wear more makeup". FML
by ashleynicolle / 02/25/2012 at 1:16am / United States (Arkansas) / Intimacy
- Today, I realized that sex with my husband has gotten so boring that I'd rather fake an orgasm than… Today, I was going through the history on my computer. Apparently, while I was at school my mother… Today, the girl I have been dating for the past five years asked me to move to California with her…