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Larry01

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Larry01
  • Town/Country : Springfield, Missouri , United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 399
  • Number of comments : 83
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Larry01's favorite FMLs

Today, I was at Walmart and had to use the bathroom. I sat down and farted real loud. I didn't realize someone was in there with me until I heard a voice say, "Dude, that was a good one." It was a man's voice. I then realized I was in the men's restroom. FML

#21095689
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45231) - you deserved it (11009)

On 03/24/2014 at 11:39pm - misc - by dani (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I ripped my old, worn underwear while trying to pick a wedgie in public. Half ended up in my hand. FML

#21095019
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29295) - you deserved it (18189)

On 03/24/2014 at 8:39am - misc - by pantyripper (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, in public, one of my mom's friends asked me how on earth did I get so tall, my mom happily scampered to my side and shrieked: 'TWO YEARS OF BREAST MILK'. FML

#21073837
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37675) - you deserved it (3338)

On 02/28/2014 at 4:06am - kids - by Ohgodmother (man) - Australia (Tasmania)

Today, I had satanic gastric distress. Attempting to make light of this fact, and, being incredibly bored and seemingly alone at work, I managed to fart the intro to "Smoke on the Water" perfectly. Somebody clapped. FML

Today, there was a forest fire in my town. I was still forced to go to school, as it was safer. A lot of people decided not to go, and we ended up doing nothing but watching the news reports. There, I got to see my house burning on live TV. FML

#21030359
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65036) - you deserved it (3959)

On 01/16/2014 at 10:42pm - misc - by Fire sucks. (man) - United States

Today, I asked my husband to try a little foreplay for once, instead of just rushing into sex. His idea of foreplay was to sweetly whisper that he was going to "penis" me so hard. That's the first time I've heard the word "penis" used as a verb, and hopefully the last. FML

#21007475
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43492) - you deserved it (4928)

On 12/27/2013 at 5:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my car was keyed, while I was still sitting in it. FML

Today, my boss made me cover for him by working two extra hours, because he had to rush home early to deal with an "emergency". The emergency was taking a shit, because he claims to have a phobia of doing them anywhere but at home. FML

#20967954
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34324) - you deserved it (2874)

On 11/23/2013 at 1:33pm - work - by AFSDALK:AFSDQWE (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I got married. My husband and I had been waiting until marriage to have sex, and when the time came, we started to undress. As I took my bra off, his eyes glazed over, and he fainted. An hour later, all he could say was, "I don't think we're meant to be together." FML

#20936013
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58246) - you deserved it (6900)

On 10/27/2013 at 7:46pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was cuddling my new boyfriend, when he went in to kiss me for the first time. Sadly, I reflexively kneed him in the balls. FML

#20917814
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37820) - you deserved it (11577)

On 10/12/2013 at 4:28pm - love - by fuck.jpg.bmp.gif.rar.zip.shit (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, a customer was paying for his food. As he placed the money in my hand, he said, "Careful, those coins are sticky." I asked why. He replied, "You know, male stuff." FML

Today, my purse was stolen from my bag while I was on the train. The thief will be surprised to find that it wasn't my money purse, but in fact my "period purse". Hope they find tampons useful. FML

#20906908
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47011) - you deserved it (3962)

On 10/04/2013 at 5:39am - misc - by haveahappyperiod (woman) -

Today, I discovered that I have caught head lice from my son. Unfortunately, they are living in my chest hair. FML

#20902262
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32865) - you deserved it (2884)

On 09/30/2013 at 5:59pm - health - by hairy (man) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, I went in the diner I always pass by and ordered a sandwich. When I asked how much it was, the waitress replied, "Don't worry, honey. We give free meals to the homeless on Thursdays." I was too ashamed to deny it, so I just said thank you and left. FML

#20896706
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39925) - you deserved it (5074)

On 09/26/2013 at 11:20am - misc - by horriblefashionsense (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I walked in on my roommate whacking off to clown porn. FML

#20895842
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48162) - you deserved it (5860)

On 09/25/2013 at 5:33pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom



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