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Language_girl97

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Language_girl97

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 28 May 1997 (17 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 5265
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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Visits<b>missathegirlwond</b> - the 08/11/2014 at 3:25am<b>stinkyslinky</b> - the 07/08/2014 at 12:00pm<b>therealjc</b> - the 05/29/2014 at 7:08am<b>LeDaniel</b> - the 05/14/2014 at 12:54am<b>katydid91</b> - the 05/05/2014 at 7:04am<b>AmexBlack</b> - the 05/04/2014 at 10:32pm<b>jcross01</b> - the 05/03/2014 at 11:12pm<b>ThatSlappinBass</b> - the 04/09/2014 at 9:12pm<b>regenerate</b> - the 03/22/2014 at 6:29pm<b>shaww</b> - the 03/17/2014 at 7:09pm<b>awesomepantTamia</b> - the 03/04/2014 at 9:47pm<b>GreenBeast</b> - the 03/03/2014 at 1:22pm<b>aine500</b> - the 02/12/2014 at 4:22pm<b>ticia002</b> - the 02/10/2014 at 5:34pm<b>Ashamed_Sister</b> - the 02/01/2014 at 1:45pm<b>music8484</b> - the 01/18/2014 at 3:55pm<b>Everyday_Galaxy</b> - the 10/27/2013 at 6:07pm<b>gigidance</b> - the 06/29/2013 at 10:25pm

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Language_girl97's favorite FMLs

Today, my best friend set me up on a blind date with someone he said was very hot. I'm not exactly what you call fit, so I haven't been dating lately. As soon as I got to the restaurant, I spotted the girl. She looked me up and down, said, "You have GOT to be kidding me" and left. FML

#290842
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64208) - you deserved it (6858)

On 03/12/2009 at 8:38pm - love - by tomtomcutiepoof (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, a man in my town was arrested for hiding methanphetamine in a hollowed out walking cane and distributing it to the population of his retirement complex. That man was my 58 year old father. FML

#259923
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69283) - you deserved it (2902)

On 03/10/2009 at 11:01am - misc - by Noname (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, all of my friends and teachers asked me what was wrong because I looked sad and tired. One kid even said that I looked like "an abused housewife the day after." I was fine. It was the first time I went to school without wearing any makeup. FML

#234874
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56840) - you deserved it (9040)

On 03/07/2009 at 3:34pm - misc - by bu09 (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I walked into my house to find everyone sitting around the table and looking sad. I thought it would be a good time to crack a joke and said "What's wrong? Grandma finally die?" Turns out she had. FML

#217290
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25411) - you deserved it (131280)

On 03/05/2009 at 2:33pm - health - by ubbernoob (man) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I was in spanish class, having a debate about the death penalty. When I went to make a point, I meant to say "La pena de muerte", which means "The death penalty". I said, "La pene de muerte". Turns out that means, "The penis of death". FML

#206263
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26767) - you deserved it (41659)

On 03/04/2009 at 12:42pm - misc - by Señor Guapo (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I drove my two kids to their friends' houses. In my convertible, looking what I though was my best, I slowed down outside a bar with cute 20 year old girls in front. My daughter noticed the speed reduction and said, "Keep driving dad, you're fat and mom left you for a reason." FML

#196936
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51236) - you deserved it (40234)

On 03/03/2009 at 4:27pm - kids - by Fat Dad (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I drove my two kids to their friends' houses. In my convertible, looking what I though was my best, I slowed down outside a bar with cute 20 year old girls in front. My daughter noticed the speed reduction and said, "Keep driving dad, you're fat and mom left you for a reason." FML

#196936
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51236) - you deserved it (40234)

On 03/03/2009 at 4:27pm - kids - by Fat Dad (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, the fitting room of the store I worked in smelled really bad. The customers started to complain and since I was on fitting room duty I went to go investigate. A middle aged woman pooped on the floor and then put the chair on top to cover it. FML

#181468
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (100533) - you deserved it (4351)

On 03/02/2009 at 8:38am - work - by fittingroompotty (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, there was a luncheon at work in another dept. We all went to get some free food and see new faces. There was a hot girl walking around chatting. I grabbed my buddy's arm and told him there was a "nice pair of tits here" He saw her. It's his daughter. She's a new-hire... running HR. FML

#141211
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12254) - you deserved it (45966)

On 02/26/2009 at 3:07am - work - by bluecollar (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I woke up to find that my dog was missing. I spent about an hour searching for him when my psycho ex-girlfriend texted me his photo. She'd kidnapped him. After driving over there, she shot paintballs at my car. Now I have no dog and a colorful car. FML

#128340
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (96046) - you deserved it (6711)

On 02/24/2009 at 10:21pm - animals - by sammatthews2007 (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my professor, who was born without arms, asked somebody "need a hand?" There are over 300 students in that class and I was the only one laughing. FML

Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML

#56665
512 comments

I agree, your life sucks (241472) - you deserved it (82249)

On 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm - kids - by offbeans (man) - United States (California)

Today, I fell asleep. I felt something on my face. I batted it away. It was my hamster. It died from a concussion upon hitting the wall. FML

#8687
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36123) - you deserved it (13971)

On 02/04/2009 at 6:29pm - animals - by EpicFail (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, on my 18th birthday, my mom told me the man I thought was my father for 18 years was actually not my father, and my real father was in prison for murder. FML

#3036
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46799) - you deserved it (1781)

On 01/28/2009 at 10:42am - misc - by kiddo - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was eating at a nice restaurant. Feeling curious, I daringly asked for the surprise "Maiden's Dream" dessert. The waiter came back with a banana between two balls of ice-cream on a plate, and no spoon. FML

#689
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19627) - you deserved it (7021)

On 01/03/2009 at 3:38am - misc - by sm@rtie - Sent from mobile version



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