Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?


Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 28 May 1997 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 8741
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

Language_girl97's page activity

Visits<b>missathegirlwond</b> - the 08/11/2014 at 3:25am<b>stinkyslinky</b> - the 07/08/2014 at 12:00pm<b>therealjc</b> - the 05/29/2014 at 7:08am<b>LeDaniel</b> - the 05/14/2014 at 12:54am<b>katydid91</b> - the 05/05/2014 at 7:04am<b>AmexBlack</b> - the 05/04/2014 at 10:32pm<b>jcross01</b> - the 05/03/2014 at 11:12pm<b>ThatSlappinBass</b> - the 04/09/2014 at 9:12pm<b>regenerate</b> - the 03/22/2014 at 6:29pm<b>shaww</b> - the 03/17/2014 at 7:09pm<b>awesomepantTamia</b> - the 03/04/2014 at 9:47pm<b>GreenBeast</b> - the 03/03/2014 at 1:22pm<b>aine500</b> - the 02/12/2014 at 4:22pm<b>ticia002</b> - the 02/10/2014 at 5:34pm<b>Ashamed_Sister</b> - the 02/01/2014 at 1:45pm<b>music8484</b> - the 01/18/2014 at 3:55pm<b>Everyday_Galaxy</b> - the 10/27/2013 at 6:07pm<b>gigidance</b> - the 06/29/2013 at 10:25pm

Language_girl97's FML badges

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

See all of Language_girl97's badges

Language_girl97's favorite FMLs

Today, I attended an elderly patient's funeral. He died of a heart attack after his daughter, as his carer, stopped all of his meds in favour of a half-cup of garlic a day. Apparently she'd "read an article" about the healing power of garlic, which trumped my 6-year degree. FML


I agree, your life sucks (51744) - you deserved it (2818)

On 07/26/2013 at 3:58am - health - by Saddoc (man) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I was babysitting a little boy for the first time. He kept using all sorts of profanity toward me the whole evening, so I told his mom when she picked him up. She just grunted and muttered, "Fucking cunt-ass snitch." FML


I agree, your life sucks (58853) - you deserved it (4939)

On 07/20/2013 at 3:37pm - money - by Nick (man) - United States (California)

Today, after more than six years of working my ass off, I finally summoned the courage to ask my boss for a raise. She just chuckled, "I'm gonna need you to eat a dick, John." and stared at me unblinking until I awkwardly left. FML


I agree, your life sucks (49469) - you deserved it (4039)

On 07/18/2013 at 3:53pm - work - by no new apartment for me (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I started doing it again. I'd given up for years, but when I saw the pack I just couldn't help myself. One taste was enough to make me finish off the whole pack. Nobody knows that I've fallen off the wagon and I'm so ashamed of myself. Today, I began eating my cat's biscuits again. FML


I agree, your life sucks (46951) - you deserved it (34435) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 07/16/2013 at 9:18am - health - by Aliiiice (woman) - France (Haute-Normandie)

Today, I was about to make a left turn. In the turn lane a little old lady was waiting for the light to change. On the back of her car was a bumper sticker that said "Honk if you love Jesus!" I gave her a honk and waved. She leaned out and yelled, "The light's red, asshole." FML


I agree, your life sucks (48036) - you deserved it (14367)

On 07/16/2013 at 9:12am - misc - by TNDriver (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was teaching my daughter how to drive. We were passing by a merge lane; I told her to slow down and let a green car merge in front of us. She said, "Fuck the green car" and sped up, colliding with it. Apparently she didn't know that would happen. FML


I agree, your life sucks (54579) - you deserved it (6888)

On 07/14/2013 at 11:40pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I politely asked a man to not sleep on a tram stop that I had to clean. He got up, and while I leaned forward to pick up some trash from the ground nearby, I felt a warm stream on my back. Now I can't get the smell of urine off my clothes. FML


I agree, your life sucks (49716) - you deserved it (4447)

On 07/08/2013 at 1:57am - work - by FUCK.THIS.JOB. (woman) - Finland (Southern Finland)

Today, I was chatting online with several relatives, discussing our family reunion. Bored out of my mind, I clicked to rename the conversation to "Boring shit with almost dead people." I didn't know it'd rename it for everyone. FML

Today, I saw my older sister for the first time in three years. We hadn't spoke since I found out that she was the woman my college boyfriend left me for. Unfortunately, our reunion was fueled by her two-year-old son's desire to meet his dad. My husband. FML


I agree, your life sucks (68805) - you deserved it (5523)

On 07/02/2013 at 10:39pm - love - by Jenn (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I went to the doctor to have my annual check-up. After the doctor made me waddle across the room towards him, hop on one foot for thirty seconds, and then lay on my stomach and do the worm, he finally said, "OK, that wasn't really part of the check-up. You're large on the hips. Lay off the Cheetos." FML


I agree, your life sucks (46242) - you deserved it (12240)

On 07/02/2013 at 7:16pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, as a joke, my friends pushed me into the men's restroom and held the door shut. As I was trying to push the door open, I heard a voice behind me say, "Wow. Immaturity, huh?" I turned to find a guy taking a dump in one of the urinals. FML


I agree, your life sucks (57438) - you deserved it (3729)

On 07/01/2013 at 1:50am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my house was egged while I went out shopping. When I told my dad about it, he immediately and casually admitted to being the one who did it, asking, "You got a fucking problem with that, son?" I don't know if he's just messing with my head, or if he really did do it. FML


I agree, your life sucks (42807) - you deserved it (3503)

On 06/30/2013 at 6:08pm - misc - by thefuck (man) - Ireland (Cavan)

Today, I had to remove a glass bottle, complete with an ineffective pullstring, from a patient's rectum. He claimed that he'd accidentally sat on it, and later threatened to sue me for every penny if I breathed a word of it to anyone. Oops, looks like I just did. FML


I agree, your life sucks (53573) - you deserved it (6144)

On 06/28/2013 at 5:59pm - work - by DocKreso (man) - Croatia (Splitsko-Dalmatinska)

Today, my cousin thought it would be cool to put a firecracker in an abandoned birdhouse. Before I could tell him not to, it exploded and about 30 wasps came after me like the wrath of God. FML


I agree, your life sucks (52174) - you deserved it (4956)

On 06/27/2013 at 12:27am - animals - by EpicJman2828 (man) - United States

Today, while I was working the drive-thru, a couple came through. As I was handing back their change they began giggling. I looked down to see the man's sex-nose fully erect. FML


I agree, your life sucks (44670) - you deserved it (4877)

On 06/26/2013 at 4:33pm - intimacy - by theunluckylifeofme (woman) - United States (California)

C comme Line's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Céline's illustrated FML
  • Hi gang! It’s a day of national pride over near the FML offices. There's a time for everything, and even if the desire to piss about to release the tension is huge, we mustn’t forget that we can…

Friday 27 November 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: