About Lacalema : 42!!
I'm a professional sand sculptor. The third picture is of me at my first competition, 8 years ago. Best job ever, I get to play in sand all day.
If I commented, I was drunk. I'm way to shy to say anything sober.
It looks like I'm a profile stalker but really I just click to see a big version of your picture. I only use the app.
About Lacalema : 42!!
Lacalema's FML badges
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
I like your style
You've liked someone. How cute!
What'cha looking at?
You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.
Lacalema's favorite FMLs
by leahrb / 02/24/2016 at 1:55pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was hanging out with a friend out of state. He had some friends with him and we were all having a great time, until they found out I live in Utah. They instantly assumed I was Mormon and started to act weird around me. This is a frequent occurrence. FML
by Poppleton99 / 02/11/2016 at 1:06am / United States (Utah) / Miscellaneous
Today, I agreed to anal with my boyfriend, which he was happy about, until I told him in the interest of fair play he also had to let me fuck him with a strap on. It didn't take him very long to suddenly decide anal is disgusting, with all kinds of health risks. And he thinks he's the smart one. FML
by sandra / 02/04/2016 at 8:01pm / Norway (Sor-Trondelag) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 11/18/2015 at 6:40am / Austria (Wien) / Love
Today, I was walking my dog when I saw a man trying to get a screaming little girl into a van. I called 911 and ran over yelling at him. His wife then got out of the van and explained the girl was their daughter and they were just trying to make her go to school. FML
by cutsiecurliee / 11/05/2015 at 2:21pm / United States (California) / Kids
by mumfordandsonimdisappointed / 08/29/2015 at 1:09am / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 08/08/2015 at 12:02am / United States (Oregon) / Money
Today, my business got broken into and I lost a lot of valuable equipment. Although I have 24/7 security guards, they left in the middle of the burglary because they were too scared to stop the burglars or even to call the police. FML
by fukingtigans / 07/29/2015 at 11:30am / Croatia (Zadarska) / Money
by suosi / 07/26/2015 at 1:55pm / United States (Indiana) / Love
Today, my father passed away. I called my boss to let him know about the situation. His only response before hanging up: "Shit, dude. Well, I'll see you in the morning, these reports won't write themselves." FML
by Anonymous / 05/23/2015 at 10:50am / Canada (Alberta) / Work
Today, my dad and grandpa came to a charity event that I helped set up for people who have autism. I appreciated their support, until I heard my dad say "Man, some of these 'tards are pretty hot." and my grandpa replying "Yeah. Probably like dead fish in bed, though." FML
by ashamed / 12/13/2014 at 9:02pm / Australia (Queensland) / Miscellaneous
by kittynapper / 07/17/2014 at 7:32pm / United States (Colorado) / Animals
by possibly fucked / 06/22/2014 at 4:34pm / Portugal (Lisboa) / Intimacy
Today, I woke up screaming like a little bitch. I'd been having a bizarre dream where I was having sex with Homer Simpson, when he suddenly had a heart attack and fell on me, crushing me to death. I think my brain needs a douching. FML
by Anonymous / 06/11/2014 at 6:20pm / United States (Missouri) / Intimacy
by Jarool / 05/12/2014 at 3:41pm / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, I took a test. I got up to turn it in, and accidentally bumped into another student. We both… 2Today, my energetic 10-month-old decided to stay up four hours past bedtime. After I FINALLY got… 3Today, I tried to fire the worst worker I've ever had over the phone because he never shows up for…