Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

LH0026

Search for a member

LH0026
  • Town/Country : Olympus Mons, Mars, United States
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 1 January 1950 (64 years)
  • Number of visits : 8683
  • Number of comments : 266
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 15 posted

About LH0026 : Profile pending

LH0026's last visitors

cwl727casual_commenterPesticidesveebiterLesseralexmac222littlekellileeredwings1340hunts19ketchuptompou6naxeeb

LH0026's FML badges

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of LH0026's badges

LH0026's favorite FMLs

Today, a highly intoxicated man came into my workplace and complained that the medicine that I'd prescribed for his dog almost choked him. I work at Blockbuster. FML

#17948173
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25707) - you deserved it (2075)

On 10/09/2011 at 11:30pm - work - by Username - United States (Texas)

Today, I was giving an anti-drugs speech to a group of ninth graders. I got onto the topic of trafficking from problem countries and asked a student to point out Mexico City on a map. He hesitated a few seconds before pointing at Canada. What the hell has the education system come to? FML

#17874852
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27622) - you deserved it (2759)

On 09/30/2011 at 10:55pm - kids - by jesus christ - United States

 Today, my mom is marrying my ex boyfriend's dad. The same ex boyfriend who I caught cheating on me with my sister. Family gatherings are going to be such a joy! FML

#17793249
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37665) - you deserved it (2210)

On 09/21/2011 at 1:53am - misc - by AL - United States (California)

Today, I took my Catholic girlfriend home to meet my family for the first time. My brother thought it would be civil to spend over an hour insulting her religion and explaining in detail the many ways in which "the Force" is superior. FML

#17521930
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23553) - you deserved it (4647)

On 08/19/2011 at 6:36pm - love - by Jace - United Kingdom (Aberdeen City)

Today, my mom was convinced that the lawn gnomes we bought from Wal-Mart were secretly conspiring to kill us. FML

#17487537
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25464) - you deserved it (3144)

On 08/16/2011 at 2:52am - misc - by Stevie - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I came home to find my house destroyed. I was so devastated, I cried. I had spent days hand-crafting the house to perfection, down to the finest detail. On Minecraft. FML

Today, my girlfriend freaked out on me because I answered her call on the first ring. According to her, it implies that I'm desperate, always horny, and just want her for the sex. Just last week she got pissed because I waited three rings to answer. Apparently that means I'm cheating on her. FML

#17390536
445 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39362) - you deserved it (5803)

On 08/06/2011 at 8:27pm - love - by FML! - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went on a date with a seemingly nice guy I met online. He was drunk when I got there. Within the first 10 minutes, he had told me I was "like Hitler but with boobs", and I was "offensive to the ninja community." Then he said I just wasn't all he had hoped for and left. FML

#17255469
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24892) - you deserved it (5638)

On 07/25/2011 at 3:24pm - misc - by ninja_blasphemer (woman) - Ireland (Wexford)

Today, I asked the girl I like to send me 'yummy pictures.' I got a picture of cheesecake. FML

#17213168
368 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8635) - you deserved it (73480)

On 07/22/2011 at 2:29am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I discovered that when you buy ropes, duct tapes, a shovel, razor blades, a fire poker, and a carton of cigs, the police can turn up and search your house for 'prisoners'. Those items were actually coincidental. FML

#17182524
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30726) - you deserved it (6744)

On 07/19/2011 at 9:51pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, my drunk father chased me down the street with my little brother's light saber screaming, "Come back Yoda! Teach me how to use the force!" FML

#17023204
260 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30945) - you deserved it (3406)

On 07/08/2011 at 1:23am - misc - by Yoda (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was eating Star Wars gummy candies and I bit R2-D2 in half. My girlfriend looked at it and said "Oh look, now he's R1-D1". It was super cute, but I couldn't help thinking, "That's not how the numbering system works for droids." FML

#16657656
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12518) - you deserved it (45858)

On 06/14/2011 at 6:04am - misc - by techiefIve (man) - United States (California)

Today, I applied for a dental insurance that claims "you cannot be denied". I was denied. FML

#16464062
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26248) - you deserved it (2823)

On 06/02/2011 at 3:26am - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I had a parent-teacher conference with my 8 year old son. He'd written "Chuck Norris" as the answer for every question on his test. FML

#16217085
439 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35553) - you deserved it (9883)

On 05/17/2011 at 12:54am - kids - by yobruh -

Today, I realized that potato chips are made from potatoes. I'm 26. FML

#15803109
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9564) - you deserved it (70910)

On 04/16/2011 at 1:14am - misc - by Username - United States (California)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: