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Kyuubi_Rose's FML badges
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
Keen reader – Level: master ninja
You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Kyuubi_Rose's favorite FMLs
Today, my roommate's pets conspired against me. "The dog ate my homework" has apparently become too clichéd for them. The new excuses are, "My cat chewed through my laptop power cable" and "the gecko ate my pen drive." FML
by Anonymous / 06/11/2014 at 8:00pm / Canada (Manitoba) / Animals
by nh-Amazon / 04/27/2014 at 7:01pm / United States (Texas) / Kids
Today, we finally moved into our new home, which my husband and I got mostly so our kids could have fun in the spacious backyard. The moment they stepped into the backyard, they were terrorized by the neighbor's dogs, and now refuse to go outside. FML
by cassie611 / 03/13/2014 at 2:26pm / United States (Texas) / Kids
Today, at a staff meeting, our boss sighed and asked why I'm always in the meetings instead of my co-worker. I reminded him that it's because I'm the department supervisor, not my co-worker. He wouldn't believe me until he saw it for himself in our personnel files. FML
by KBBL / 03/12/2014 at 12:02pm / Canada (Alberta) / Work
by Anonymous / 03/11/2014 at 11:34pm / United States (New York) / Kids
by ashamed father / 03/09/2014 at 6:32pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
by Anonymous / 02/27/2014 at 9:34am / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was applying for jobs online when my father called. When I told him what I was doing, he said in all seriousness that I should just be a sugar baby. I said he must be joking, but he replied, "Honey, if I had your tits, I'd never work a day in my life." 5ML
by Anonymous / 01/24/2014 at 12:15am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, my fiancé texted me, saying he'd been masturbating to pictures of me. I told him that I couldn't wait to get home and take care of him. He replied, "Nah, don't bother, I got this." Now I'm horny and sad. FML
by Anonymous / 01/09/2014 at 12:59pm / United States (Missouri) / Intimacy
Today, I went to my bedroom for some alone time while my daughter watched TV. I didn't realize that my iPad was still connected to the Apple TV, until I hit play on some porn and heard a scream from the other room. FML
by ConfusedDad / 12/29/2013 at 2:01am / United States / Kids
by blah! / 12/08/2013 at 8:19am / United States (Connecticut) / Kids
Today, I woke up with a raging hangover. I soon checked my phone, only to find that I'd drunkenly sent nude pictures to several friends' numbers, as well as to my own. I'd then replied to my own message, saying that I'm not gay and telling myself to fuck off. FML
by Anonymous / 10/18/2013 at 1:30pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 10/17/2013 at 6:57pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 10/06/2013 at 12:44am / United States / Kids
Today, I attended my first day of school 4 days after reconstructive surgery. But no worries: I'm sure my alien-like appearance and 2 hours of Darth Vader style breathing in an otherwise silent test room will make me lots of friends. FML
by carobee / 08/24/2013 at 12:25am / United States (Washington) / Health
- Today, my live in boyfriend has been giving me the silent treatment for the last three days because… Today, my boss sat me down for my evaluation. Not only did she have nothing good to say because she… Today, I was cooking dinner when I set off the fire alarm in my flat building. The neighbour from…