About Kyp_kingofhearts : Awesome Percussionist! Love Disturbed and the Cavaliers Drum and Bugle Corps.
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Kyp_kingofhearts's favorite FMLs
Today, I broke up with my girlfriend, because her military father, who doesn't like me, continuously threatened my safety for dating her. Now he's threatening to kill me for dumping her. I can't win. FML
by send the army please / 05/02/2016 at 2:51am / United States (New Jersey) / Love
Today, while teaching juniors about black holes, I said, "Imagine everything being sucked into a black hole." An African-American student shouted, "I'd better start clenching!" Nobody took the lesson seriously after that. FML
by regretsteachinghighschool / 11/05/2013 at 8:22am / United States (Minnesota) / Work
by Anonymous / 05/02/2013 at 8:50pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 11/18/2012 at 7:13am / United States (New York) / Love
Today, while walking to class enjoying the warmer weather, a bee flew down my shirt. I'm allergic to bees so I freaked out and started ripping my clothes off. By the time I was done, I was half naked and there was no bee in sight. Turns out, it was the string on my jacket hood. FML
by Anonymous / 03/31/2009 at 2:45pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
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- Today, my wife told me she was very horny as we have not had sex in about two weeks, so I told her… Today, I came home to find that all my porn magazines have been "censored" with a black sharpie. FML Today, I found out my boyfriend has a fetish for cats. I think I'm going to have to meow before we…