Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?


Offline (the 11/05/2015 at 6:11pm) | Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 6 November 1990 (25 years)
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 806
  • Number of comments : 39
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About KoalaBek : I'm a full time professional cynic. If I were an animal I'd be a Binturong. I may be the reincarnation of Martha Stewart. Yes I am aware she's not dead.

KoalaBek's page activity

Visits<b>DA_JUDGE123</b> - the 11/15/2015 at 12:47am<b>blackfire20</b> - the 11/14/2015 at 7:25pm<b>xxpussydestroyer</b> - the 11/06/2015 at 3:56am<b>nhatt</b> - the 11/05/2015 at 10:55pm<b>razoray9</b> - the 09/23/2015 at 8:22pm<b>ratman775</b> - the 08/30/2015 at 10:10am<b>jolaurr</b> - the 08/20/2015 at 8:46am<b>pl0xs3rver</b> - the 08/18/2015 at 12:48pm<b>twistedskittles</b> - the 07/10/2015 at 7:21pm<b>hantu69</b> - the 06/28/2015 at 6:57pm<b>chrisstachon</b> - the 05/13/2015 at 4:43am<b>killer0689</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 2:15pm<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 05/08/2015 at 9:37am<b>PUCKSTOPPER1976</b> - the 04/03/2015 at 12:25pm<b>Loomunati</b> - the 01/23/2015 at 7:58am<b>rocker_chick23</b> - the 12/08/2014 at 11:12am<b>birdybirdchirp</b> - the 10/30/2014 at 12:34pm<b>AyooAileenCx</b> - the 10/29/2014 at 3:24pm

Fucked!<b>jolaurr</b> - the 08/20/2015 at 2:46pm<b>pl0xs3rver</b> - the 08/18/2015 at 6:49pm<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 05/08/2015 at 2:11am

KoalaBek's FML badges

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.


You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

See all of KoalaBek's badges

KoalaBek's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend about the importance of foreplay, and that attempting to get me "in the mood" by whipping his cock out and air humping was roughly equivalent to throwing a dry teabag at me and claiming he made a cup of tea. FML


I agree, your life sucks (26133) - you deserved it (2553)

On 10/16/2015 at 11:05am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Hampshire)

Today, my boyfriend found out that male goats will stick their tongues out, snort, and garble at female goats in heat. Now he's doing it to me at all manner of times, sound effects and all. I now know why goats ram their heads into things repeatedly. FML


I agree, your life sucks (23190) - you deserved it (2135)

On 10/14/2015 at 12:22pm - love - by StillnothowIimaginedmydaygoing (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He replied, dead serious, "That's nice and all, but anal speaks louder than words." FML


I agree, your life sucks (27660) - you deserved it (3854)

On 10/09/2015 at 2:27pm - intimacy - by not impressed (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I saw my ex boyfriend walking down the street in my direction. I've put on a bunch of weight since we broke up, so I turned to look in the nearest shop window, hoping he wouldn't notice. Unfortunately he did see me, looking straight at a KFC. FML


I agree, your life sucks (24304) - you deserved it (6195)

On 10/01/2015 at 8:16am - love - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Milton Keynes)

Today, I spent an hour trying to sleep before work, but I couldn't because my two dogs wouldn't stop barking. Completely pissed off, I finally went and told the little fuck nuggets to shut the shit up. I was then immediately knocked unconscious by the burglar in my house. FML

Today, I was lying on a couch, reading, when I noticed a spindly leg poking round the corner of my book. Upon realising it was a spider, I calmly and rationally threw my book across the room, breaking the TV. FML


I agree, your life sucks (20170) - you deserved it (8610)

On 08/24/2015 at 4:46am - misc - by Annie (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I went to my girlfriend's parents' house for lunch. I ended up in the bathroom constipated and remembered reading it's easier to "go" if you are squatting. My girlfriend's dad walked in on me perched on the toilet like an owl. FML


I agree, your life sucks (25515) - you deserved it (4853)

On 06/22/2015 at 4:58pm - health - by oh no (man) - United States (California)

Today, as I was walking to work, a cyclist shot out of nowhere and slammed into me. I hit the ground hard and lay there in agony. The guy quickly dusted himself off, said "Sorry man. It's a vicious cycle." then chuckled at his own stupid pun and cycled away. FML


I agree, your life sucks (33505) - you deserved it (2732)

On 04/04/2015 at 1:32pm - health - by fuck right off (man) - United Kingdom (Leicestershire)

Today, my coworker said that she suddenly got the shivers. I jokingly told her that it meant she must be being watched by a dead person and made stupid ghost noises. She then told me it was the anniversary of her dad's death and burst into tears. FML


I agree, your life sucks (34352) - you deserved it (13936)

On 02/02/2015 at 9:25am - misc - by pinecones (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my girlfriend gave me my first handjob. I was nervous, so when she went to do it, I panicked and yelled, "Firmly grasp it!" She then couldn't stop laughing because it was a line from SpongeBob. FML

Today, I had to call a few different women and explain to them that my little brother had catfished them. I had to do it because he is mute and my parents were too busy screaming at him. FML


I agree, your life sucks (27942) - you deserved it (2123)

On 01/12/2015 at 8:11pm - misc - by PO'd big bro - United States (Georgia)

Today, I sent my boyfriend a picture of my vagina. He replied, "What's that?" FML


I agree, your life sucks (42230) - you deserved it (18997)

On 10/05/2014 at 10:42pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I complimented a guy on his beard. His response? "Thanks. Wanna sit on it?" FML

Today, to spice things up, my boyfriend suggested we wear disguises. Amused by the idea, I accepted. That's how I ended up having sex with Gandalf. FML


I agree, your life sucks (47456) - you deserved it (10447) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 08/18/2014 at 12:48am - intimacy - by Degueusement (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, I saw a customer at the restaurant I work at lovingly petting his cheeseburger and whispering sweet promises to it. FML


I agree, your life sucks (37179) - you deserved it (3547)

On 08/10/2014 at 10:22pm - work - by weirded out (man) - United States (California)

C comme Line's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Best of the Worst #20
  • Here we are in November! Winter is here, for most of us, it's dark, grey and depressing and if you're the kind of person who watches network news 24/7, you're probably going to need some cheering up.…

Monday 30 November 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: