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KoalaBek

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KoalaBek

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 6 November 1990 (24 years)
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 576
  • Number of comments : 37
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About KoalaBek : I'm a full time professional cynic. If I were an animal I'd be a Binturong. I may be the reincarnation of Martha Stewart. Yes I am aware she's not dead.

KoalaBek's page activity

Visits<b>twistedskittles</b> - the 07/10/2015 at 7:21pm<b>hantu69</b> - the 06/28/2015 at 6:57pm<b>jolaurr</b> - the 06/17/2015 at 9:27am<b>chrisstachon</b> - the 05/13/2015 at 4:43am<b>killer0689</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 2:15pm<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 05/08/2015 at 9:37am<b>PUCKSTOPPER1976</b> - the 04/03/2015 at 12:25pm<b>Loomunati</b> - the 01/23/2015 at 7:58am<b>rocker_chick23</b> - the 12/08/2014 at 11:12am<b>birdybirdchirp</b> - the 10/30/2014 at 12:34pm<b>AyooAileenCx</b> - the 10/29/2014 at 3:24pm<b>ostfaiz</b> - the 10/29/2014 at 2:05pm<b>ItsaBucsLife</b> - the 10/29/2014 at 8:20am<b>vernk</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 2:11pm<b>slimblack</b> - the 08/22/2014 at 3:29pm<b>lizard365</b> - the 07/31/2014 at 1:45pm<b>steeler088</b> - the 07/31/2014 at 6:54am<b>swharley</b> - the 07/31/2014 at 5:31am

Fucked!<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 05/08/2015 at 2:11am

KoalaBek's FML badges

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

See all of KoalaBek's badges

KoalaBek's favorite FMLs

Today, as I was walking to work, a cyclist shot out of nowhere and slammed into me. I hit the ground hard and lay there in agony. The guy quickly dusted himself off, said "Sorry man. It's a vicious cycle." then chuckled at his own stupid pun and cycled away. FML

#21387543
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31988) - you deserved it (2504)

On 04/04/2015 at 1:32pm - health - by fuck right off (man) - United Kingdom (Leicestershire)

Today, my coworker said that she suddenly got the shivers. I jokingly told her that it meant she must be being watched by a dead person and made stupid ghost noises. She then told me it was the anniversary of her dad's death and burst into tears. FML

#21348221
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33071) - you deserved it (13392)

On 02/02/2015 at 9:25am - misc - by pinecones (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my girlfriend gave me my first handjob. I was nervous, so when she went to do it, I panicked and yelled, "Firmly grasp it!" She then couldn't stop laughing because it was a line from SpongeBob. FML

Today, I had to call a few different women and explain to them that my little brother had catfished them. I had to do it because he is mute and my parents were too busy screaming at him. FML

#21335978
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25998) - you deserved it (1834)

On 01/12/2015 at 8:11pm - misc - by PO'd big bro - United States (Georgia)

Today, I complimented a guy on his beard. His response? "Thanks. Wanna sit on it?" FML

Today, to spice things up, my boyfriend suggested we wear disguises. Amused by the idea, I accepted. That's how I ended up having sex with Gandalf. FML

#21240323
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43401) - you deserved it (9441) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 08/18/2014 at 12:48am - intimacy - by Degueusement (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, I saw a customer at the restaurant I work at lovingly petting his cheeseburger and whispering sweet promises to it. FML

#21234388
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35193) - you deserved it (3338)

On 08/10/2014 at 10:22pm - work - by weirded out (man) - United States (California)

Today, I told my girlfriend that I love her. She panicked and blurted out our S&M safeword. FML

#21152151
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47940) - you deserved it (6607)

On 05/26/2014 at 11:53am - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my wife got all excited when she saw the elevator we were in had a feature to make it go sideways. I didn't have the heart to tell her they were the buttons to open and close the door. FML

#21137819
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47201) - you deserved it (6134)

On 05/12/2014 at 3:41pm - misc - by Jarool - Canada (Alberta)

Today, while driving, I saw a dog run across the road. Feeling sorry for the pup on a cold, rainy night, I pulled my car over to pick it up. Once in, it started freaking out so I turned on the light. It was then that I realized I'd just put a wild coyote on my passenger seat. FML

Today, I saw an elderly gentleman in the street wearing a shirt with a big QR code on it. Amused, I used an app on my phone to decode it. It gave me a shortened web address, which I followed, only to be faced with a picture of the same gentleman naked, grinning, and giving a thumbs up. FML

#20882561
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58384) - you deserved it (29093)

On 09/15/2013 at 3:53pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Romania (Bucuresti)

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Instead of moaning like any normal person, he just kept saying stuff like "uh-huh," "not too bad," and "yup" in a complete monotone. It was probably the most uncomfortable experience of my life. FML

#20804720
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65334) - you deserved it (6613)

On 07/26/2013 at 2:00pm - intimacy - by awkward (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend and I went to the store to buy oranges and pick up a pack of condoms. When we were at the checkout counter, my boyfriend happily told the cashier, "The only way we can have sex is if we squeeze oranges all over our bodies." FML

#20583013
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52823) - you deserved it (11934)

On 04/10/2013 at 12:28am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I carried flat-packed boxes home from work to move my things into a new apartment. Whilst walking down the street, the wind kept blowing and spinning me round. A crowd eventually gathered, mistaking me for a street performer. Nobody helped or even threw me any loose change. FML

#20575849
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28624) - you deserved it (3334)

On 04/05/2013 at 7:04am - misc - by Gem - United Kingdom (Nottingham)

Today, I walked outside to this guy attempting to steal my bike. When I asked him what he was doing he calmly replied, "I'm a bike inspector. You hooked your chain all wrong! This time is a warning; next time it'll be a ticket!" He then threw his full, opened Pepsi can at me. FML

#20524651
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27852) - you deserved it (2267)

On 02/27/2013 at 5:39pm - misc - by Chelsea - United States (Ohio)



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