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KoalaBek

Offline (9 hours ago) | Search for a member

KoalaBek

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 6 November 1990 (24 years)
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 496
  • Number of comments : 36
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About KoalaBek : I'm a full time professional cynic. If I were an animal I'd be a Binturong. I may be the reincarnation of Martha Stewart. Yes I am aware she's not dead.

KoalaBek's page activity

Visits<b>chrisstachon</b> - the 05/13/2015 at 4:43am<b>killer0689</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 2:15pm<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 05/08/2015 at 9:37am<b>twistedskittles</b> - the 05/07/2015 at 6:10pm<b>PUCKSTOPPER1976</b> - the 04/03/2015 at 12:25pm<b>Loomunati</b> - the 01/23/2015 at 7:58am<b>rocker_chick23</b> - the 12/08/2014 at 11:12am<b>birdybirdchirp</b> - the 10/30/2014 at 12:34pm<b>AyooAileenCx</b> - the 10/29/2014 at 3:24pm<b>ostfaiz</b> - the 10/29/2014 at 2:05pm<b>ItsaBucsLife</b> - the 10/29/2014 at 8:20am<b>vernk</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 2:11pm<b>slimblack</b> - the 08/22/2014 at 3:29pm<b>lizard365</b> - the 07/31/2014 at 1:45pm<b>steeler088</b> - the 07/31/2014 at 6:54am<b>swharley</b> - the 07/31/2014 at 5:31am<b>Garrison21</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 11:50am<b>mongoosemike</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 8:57am

Fucked!<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 05/08/2015 at 2:11am

KoalaBek's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of KoalaBek's badges

KoalaBek's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend gave me my first handjob. I was nervous, so when she went to do it, I panicked and yelled, "Firmly grasp it!" She then couldn't stop laughing because it was a line from SpongeBob. FML

Today, I had to call a few different women and explain to them that my little brother had catfished them. I had to do it because he is mute and my parents were too busy screaming at him. FML

#21335978
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25961) - you deserved it (1831)

On 01/12/2015 at 8:11pm - misc - by PO'd big bro - United States (Georgia)

Today, to spice things up, my boyfriend suggested we wear disguises. Amused by the idea, I accepted. That's how I ended up having sex with Gandalf. FML

#21240323
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43306) - you deserved it (9424) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 08/18/2014 at 12:48am - intimacy - by Degueusement (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, I saw a customer at the restaurant I work at lovingly petting his cheeseburger and whispering sweet promises to it. FML

#21234388
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35152) - you deserved it (3332)

On 08/10/2014 at 10:22pm - work - by weirded out (man) - United States (California)

Today, I told my girlfriend that I love her. She panicked and blurted out our S&M safeword. FML

#21152151
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47903) - you deserved it (6603)

On 05/26/2014 at 11:53am - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend and I went to the store to buy oranges and pick up a pack of condoms. When we were at the checkout counter, my boyfriend happily told the cashier, "The only way we can have sex is if we squeeze oranges all over our bodies." FML

#20583013
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52758) - you deserved it (11918)

On 04/10/2013 at 12:28am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I carried flat-packed boxes home from work to move my things into a new apartment. Whilst walking down the street, the wind kept blowing and spinning me round. A crowd eventually gathered, mistaking me for a street performer. Nobody helped or even threw me any loose change. FML

#20575849
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28589) - you deserved it (3333)

On 04/05/2013 at 7:04am - misc - by Gem - United Kingdom (Nottingham)

Today, I took an afternoon nap, and when I woke up, it was pitch black outside. Still groggy, I went downstairs, only to see my dad sporting a shocked expression and a suspiciously powder-white beard. He actually almost convinced me that I'd just woken up from a five year coma. FML

#20510255
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28663) - you deserved it (6010)

On 02/17/2013 at 12:56am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I went out for dinner with my long-term crush, who turned out to be a huge dog person. He asked me which dog breed I like the most. In an attempt to reply with both Labrador and Doberman, I accidentally said Dumbledore. FML

#20451560
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32225) - you deserved it (9004)

On 01/10/2013 at 7:20am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Slovakia

Today, my neighbor went on vacation, leaving me in charge of his cat and dog. For some reason, he calls his dog "Cat" and his cat "Dog". There are two pet food containers, one labeled "Cat" and the other labeled "Dog". I have no idea which one goes to which animal. FML

#20437796
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39986) - you deserved it (4204)

On 01/02/2013 at 1:07am - animals - by catdog - United States (California)

Today, in the spirit of Halloween and to get back at a child who repeatedly pressed the doorbell until I showed up, I quickly opened the door and yelled "Boo!" The child ended up being carried away crying with wet pants by a mother threatening to sue. FML

#20142562
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28998) - you deserved it (4728)

On 11/01/2012 at 4:20am - kids - by NoSpirit (woman) -

Today, while I was using my computer, my cat ran up to the power strip, looked me in the eyes, and hit the power switch, turning everything off. She does this quite often. FML

#20116072
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23480) - you deserved it (4294)

On 10/14/2012 at 3:00am - animals - by stop it ninja - United States (Virginia)

Today, I have a heart condition that causes migraines and fainting, so I take salt tablets to stop the fainting. The migraines can lead to a stroke, so I have medication for them. The medication has a side effect: fainting. And to avoid migraines, I should avoid salt. FML

#20038541
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34237) - you deserved it (1705)

On 08/24/2012 at 12:08am - health - by Neurocardiogenic Syncope - Canada

Today, I saw my upstairs neighbor outside getting the mail. She asked how my day was, and then apologized that the sound of her baby's crying through the walls kept me up last night. Apparently she heard me when I yelled at 2am for her fucking demon spawn to shut up. FML

#18086804
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13705) - you deserved it (35005)

On 10/27/2011 at 2:41am - misc - by Deborah - United States

Today, I found out that my neighbors took it upon themselves to knock down the fence we shared, and putting up a new one. Thus fencing my pool into their yard. When I asked them why, he replied, "We thought you weren't coming back." I was gone for 4 months tending to my sister with breast cancer. FML

#17658715
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41860) - you deserved it (2167)

On 09/04/2011 at 2:09am - misc - by Pool-less - United States (Missouri)



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