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KoGWitness

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KoGWitness
  • Town/Country : United States of 'Merica
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 18 August 1998 (15 years)
  • Number of visits : 179
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About KoGWitness : Willing to try and find a girlfriend.
In my photo, I am on the right.

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KoGWitness's favorite FMLs

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. She pulled down my trousers, saw my Poke-ball boxers, and absolutely lost it. I had to lie next to her in bed for the next 10 minutes hearing her howl with laughter while crying "Dickachu, I choose you!" FML

#20711208
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48327) - you deserved it (57907)

On 06/07/2013 at 3:10am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, after buying 3 new alarm clocks, I finally decided to video tape myself all night to figure out if my alarm clock was broken or if I was oversleeping. Turns out I wake up around 4am each day and turn them off without remembering. FML

#20700571
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49077) - you deserved it (5850)

On 06/02/2013 at 2:06am - misc - by sleepy momma - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I woke up to my 5-year-old son covering my nose and mouth with his hand and complaining, "Noooo, you need to die now." FML

#20695159
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59547) - you deserved it (4755)

On 05/30/2013 at 12:29pm - kids - by life insurance for 1 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my dad sat me down for the sex talk, except it wasn't really a talk, but rather him making me watch a hardcore porn video with him as he commented on what the actors were doing. I had to listen to all this and ignore his obvious erection for almost an hour. FML

#20660939
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70323) - you deserved it (3826)

On 05/13/2013 at 3:10pm - intimacy - by more than I wanted to know (man) - Italy (Emilia-Romagna)

Today, my mom decided to subtly bring up her desire for grandchildren. "You really need a girlfriend. I'm surprised you don't have a crippling case of Carpal Tunnel by now." FML

#20102423
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15859) - you deserved it (2430)

On 10/05/2012 at 1:59am - misc - by alittlepersonal (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was in the shower, when I heard my daughter scream and shout, "Mommy, mommy! Help! Come quick!" I panicked and rushed downstairs without even looking for a towel to cover myself, all so I could find out she'd just gotten a piece of dirt on her shoe. FML

#19881978
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16712) - you deserved it (1763)

On 07/02/2012 at 5:17pm - kids - by Sh*t (woman) - Venezuela (Distrito Federal)

Today, my boyfriend finally met my brother. He arrested him for drunk driving. FML

#19860817
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21998) - you deserved it (2906)

On 06/28/2012 at 2:11pm - love - by daniella101 - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I was cuddling with my boyfriend in bed after a round of amazing sex. He decided it would be a great time to stick his finger up my nose. FML

#19747486
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17141) - you deserved it (3144)

On 06/07/2012 at 12:02am - intimacy - by C0r1nn3 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend decided to pleasure me with a handjob. It was incredibly painful because she didn't understand that my foreskin isn't as flexible as she thought it to be. I didn't have the heart to tell her to stop until she asked, "Is it supposed to turn this color?" FML

#19336672
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20913) - you deserved it (7626)

On 03/24/2012 at 1:30am - intimacy - by purple - United States (Texas)

Today, my sister's boyfriend said the only thing he'd change about her was her last name. My boyfriend told me he'd change the shape of my nose. FML

#18458740
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24460) - you deserved it (3076)

On 12/08/2011 at 4:14am - love - by disappoint - United States (Florida)

Today, I found that the love of my life is 3.5 inches, fully erect. My cell phone is bigger than that. FML

#15749213
782 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61249) - you deserved it (12509)

On 04/12/2011 at 12:00am - intimacy - by Artic (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my girlfriend was giving me a handjob in the shower. As I was reaching climax, my mom walked by the bathroom door and started talking to me. My girlfriend didn't stop, and in order to distract from the situation at hand, I had to carry on the conversation with my mom. FML

#15218324
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32978) - you deserved it (8786)

On 03/06/2011 at 1:15pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Sweden (Vastra Gotaland)

Today, I was getting it on with my boyfriend. I started to come, screaming, "Ah... ah... ah... AHH!" To which he added, "Staying alive! Staying alive!" FML

#14608705
242 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28327) - you deserved it (18982) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 1:24am - intimacy - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins

Today, I spent a wonderful day with my girlfriend. I got her everything she wanted, and drained my wallet. On the walk home she noticed a license plate that had an ex-girlfriend's name on it. She saw me looking and accused me of still being in love with my ex, and stormed off. After throwing salad in my face. FML

Today, my boyfriend gave me a really sweet poem that he wrote for me. I think it was secondhand - the first letter of each verse spelled his ex girlfriend's name. FML

#8347033
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25997) - you deserved it (1870)

On 02/16/2010 at 7:00pm - love - by blaze (woman) - United States (Arizona)



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