Kitten_Calderon

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Kitten_Calderon

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 699
  • Number of comments : 137
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About Kitten_Calderon : I'm 30 years old, married To a wonderful husband of a year, and proudly raising eight kids. :)

I dislike homophobes, hypocrites, and stupid/rude people. I dislike ignorance and a lack of tolerance.. Diversity is beautiful and should be accepted! Live and let live, even if isn't your thing. Let it exist in peace and harmony, with the love it deserves!

Kitten_Calderon's page activity

Visits<b>Spudnik</b> - 15 hours ago<b>TheDarkLight</b> - the 07/22/2016 at 8:32am<b>jbuckets_404</b> - the 06/06/2016 at 11:18am<b>FLTRU</b> - the 04/22/2016 at 11:52am<b>shmoooopie</b> - the 04/21/2016 at 8:41pm<b>dom_g</b> - the 03/30/2016 at 2:51pm<b>janderson416</b> - the 03/25/2016 at 9:36am<b>slapstick1982</b> - the 03/09/2016 at 8:01am<b>big_sam1991</b> - the 02/11/2016 at 12:41am<b>Pikathedoge</b> - the 12/30/2015 at 9:08am<b>DolphinLaser23</b> - the 12/18/2015 at 7:37am<b>barisozdemir</b> - the 11/25/2015 at 4:37am<b>Envy22</b> - the 11/03/2015 at 5:54pm<b>hullarms</b> - the 10/13/2015 at 3:57pm<b>americanafrican</b> - the 09/20/2015 at 3:21pm<b>pete9913</b> - the 09/10/2015 at 8:24am<b>earljonez</b> - the 08/04/2015 at 6:27pm<b>ki087</b> - the 07/18/2015 at 10:47pm

Fucked!<b>jbuckets_404</b> - the 05/06/2016 at 12:06pm<b>Envy22</b> - the 11/03/2015 at 11:55pm

Kitten_Calderon's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

The rules are the rules

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Kitten_Calderon's favorite FMLs

Today, after discovering that our son is already sexually active, I asked my husband to have a talk with him. "Remember, son, it's all about the clit", wasn't what I had in mind. FML

by Anonymous / 06/08/2013 at 6:34am / United States (Alabama) / Intimacy

Today, I stole a pen from the doctor's office while she wasn't looking. Later on at work, I idly pulled the pen out during a meeting. My colleague looked at me, horrified. The pen had the words "minimally invasive gynecological surgery" emblazoned on it. I'm a man. FML

by Anonymous / 02/21/2013 at 9:56pm / United States (New York) / Work

Today, the rollercoaster I was on stuck upside down for a few minutes. I shat myself in terror. Then, gravity took effect. FML

by Anonymous / 01/27/2013 at 6:10am / United States (Colorado) / Health

Today, I had to drag my grandmother out of a store because she went up to a black family and started apologizing for slavery. FML

by daddy's girl / 01/21/2013 at 11:08pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I thought maybe I should go to my doctor because my hips crack every time I take a step. But she's also my recently ex-boyfriend's mom, so I have to choose between being in constant pain or having my doctor poke at my hips while asking me why I'm no longer dating her son. FML

by ouch / 01/21/2013 at 9:41pm / Canada (Prince Edward Island) / Health

Today, I went to a family dinner. My grandma wasted no time calling me a slut for not wearing a dress, my dad called my police officer boyfriend a "fucking pig", and then he told my mother to "put a cock in it" when she defended me. No wonder I hardly ever visit these people. FML

by mel / 01/18/2013 at 6:18pm / New Zealand (Auckland) / Miscellaneous

Today, I've been struggling with my English paper for the past hour, because I can't concentrate. This is because my mom is in the room next to me, singing to her pet rat about what a cute little boy he is, in between yelling at him to stop "molesting" her. FML

by theycallmekitty / 01/10/2013 at 7:02pm / United States (Georgia) / Animals

Today, I learned that toddlers cannot fully digest raisins. I learned this first-hand when my 15-month-old began pooping them whole. In the bathtub. FML

by Raela / 01/04/2013 at 11:59am / United States (New Jersey) / Kids

Today, my boyfriend called me anti-social. To prove him wrong I texted one of my friends. She texted back, "Who's this??" FML

by Anonymous / 01/04/2013 at 1:18am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, after sharing my first night in bed with my boyfriend, I woke up early, and decided to rouse him with some surprise oral. It didn't go so well; he woke up screaming and gasped, "OH MY GOD! I thought you were my cat!" before telling me to continue. FML

by anonymaiacciu / 12/21/2012 at 8:16pm / France / Intimacy

Today, a friend informed me that my dog's name means "penis" in Greek. I live in a predominantly Greek neighbourhood, and apparently I've been screaming for "dong" every evening for the past 3 years. No wonder they don't talk to me much. FML

by Dog_Lover / 12/18/2012 at 10:30am / Canada (Quebec) / Miscellaneous

Today, my husband told my mother-in-law that we're trying to have a baby. She decided to call me and explain in extreme detail what positions to try, and when. FML

by crazy mother in law / 12/17/2012 at 1:48pm / Intimacy

Today, I found out my new girlfriend is a screamer. This would normally turn me on, except she sounds like she's being murdered with a rusty fork. FML

by Dontwaketheneighbors / 12/06/2012 at 9:24am / United States (California) / Intimacy