Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Kirito_Kazuto

Offline (49 minutes ago) | Search for a member

Kirito_Kazuto

31Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 20995
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About Kirito_Kazuto : Eyy' dere~ before I waste any of your valuable time with this long paragraph of a bio that you are currently reading; I want you to know that I'm nothing more than simply an exceedingly below-average, weird, & boring guy who's a kid at heart" (To those who are curious & are currently further reading this at the moment; at first when you see me, I may seem incredibly shy, but if you ever get the chance to really know me, then you're in for a butt-surprise) x3 Please, don't be shy & just message me if you want to chat &/or would like to learn more about my awkwardness ~( • P• )~ By the way, I'm a Christian, straight, I wear prescription glasses & I also have terrible eye bags/dark circles under my eyes. I used to be an outgoing person, but now I just stay home x; I also love playing video games, watching Anime & I'm proud of it~ "YEEE~!" *~High-fives ownself~* 83 "Don't hate or else your presence isn't welcome here."*~Opens the front-door & points outside~* "There's the exit." o/

Kirito_Kazuto's page activity

Visits<b>Sassy_Kitten96</b> - 32 minutes ago<b>Melodyrain</b> - 4 hours ago<b>Sethan01</b> - 9 hours ago<b>cheeeksss</b> - 11 hours ago<b>SilentSilver001</b> - 12 hours ago<b>Superdouchebag</b> - yesterday at 4:20am<b>FoodIsMyAmbrosia</b> - yesterday at 12:31am<b>FloWPs</b> - yesterday at 3:19pm<b>bunnyboo83</b> - the 02/25/2015 at 10:25pm<b>fatiezzhm</b> - the 02/25/2015 at 11:55am<b>Miizuo</b> - the 02/25/2015 at 6:47am<b>charrbee90</b> - the 02/25/2015 at 3:38am<b>WeChaseClouds</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 10:51pm<b>royr7395</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 10:51pm<b>SabrinaEpic3</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 8:12pm<b>darrend1196</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 11:14am<b>UkeSenpai</b> - the 02/21/2015 at 12:57pm<b>WillowB47</b> - the 02/21/2015 at 3:15am

Liked!<b>Miizuo</b> - the 02/25/2015 at 12:47pm<b>WeChaseClouds</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 4:26am<b>SlowDownImaNoob</b> - the 02/15/2015 at 3:14am<b>Melodyrain</b> - the 02/13/2015 at 7:35am<b>Lesser</b> - the 01/23/2015 at 9:38am<b>Snake1105</b> - the 01/21/2015 at 1:35pm<b>NarutoLove</b> - the 01/19/2015 at 9:28am<b>blondbombshell13</b> - the 01/19/2015 at 4:47am<b>royr7395</b> - the 01/15/2015 at 9:30am<b>Leigghhh</b> - the 01/11/2015 at 1:25pm<b>SHADOWS565</b> - the 01/11/2015 at 12:17am<b>kitcat517</b> - the 01/11/2015 at 12:05am<b>clairesucks</b> - the 01/05/2015 at 12:03pm<b>Crystal4</b> - the 01/05/2015 at 5:52am<b>____gerard____</b> - the 01/02/2015 at 11:35am<b>UserOfTheMind</b> - the 11/29/2014 at 10:38am<b>TheIlluminatii</b> - the 11/25/2014 at 3:26am<b>zBerryz</b> - the 11/22/2014 at 2:04pm

Kirito_Kazuto's FML badges

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Facebook

Between your Facebook account and your FML account, things are no longer complicated: their relationship is official. We like this.

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

See all of Kirito_Kazuto's badges

Kirito_Kazuto's favorite FMLs

Today, the guy I was sexting asked me to stop including my face in the pictures. FML

#21050596
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49363) - you deserved it (20099)

On 02/04/2014 at 7:41pm - intimacy - by khfhjfsb (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was ringing an elderly gentleman up at work. As I went to package up the buns he ordered, he held up a hand and told me to wait. He then looked me in the eyes, started squeezing them, then winked and told me to go ahead. I've never felt so violated. FML

#21050427
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39624) - you deserved it (4056)

On 02/04/2014 at 4:42pm - love - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Bristol, City of)

Today, a kid in class kept chatting to his friend, and was made to swap seats. Every time the guy he swapped with moved, the stench from his armpits wafted over. It smelled like nacho cheese crossed with ball sweat. It got so bad that I eventually had to go dry heave in the toilets. FML

#21050316
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37990) - you deserved it (3336)

On 02/04/2014 at 1:55pm - health - by even axe would smell better (man) - United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire)

Today, as I came home from school, I saw a little rock in the road. I kicked it, intending to send it sailing into the bushes in front of my house. It went wide and sailed straight into a window instead. FML

#21050272
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29644) - you deserved it (14814)

On 02/04/2014 at 1:00pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I'm a little over a month pregnant. My fiancé has decided that if we both act like I'm not pregnant, "the baby will get the hint and go away". FML

#21050194
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54689) - you deserved it (6732)

On 02/04/2014 at 9:50am - kids - by LadyDeadpool88 (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, at the grocery store, an elderly woman asked for help with some tea. I lent her a hand, spending a good twenty minutes reading different labels out loud until she found one she liked. After she was done, she handed me a pamphlet and said, "You're a nice girl. I hope you don't go to hell." FML

#21050005
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40895) - you deserved it (4374)

On 02/04/2014 at 1:16am - misc - by Lithiac - United States (Florida)

Today, while at a funeral for a distant family member, I was giving my condolences to the family. When one of them asked how I was doing, I replied with, "I'm still alive!", which is one of my standard responses due to being a cashier and being asked that question a hundred times a day. FML

Today, my boyfriend decided the best way to inform me of his shoplifting tendencies was to steal stuff while we were at Starbucks. FML

#21049681
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38569) - you deserved it (4113)

On 02/03/2014 at 8:30pm - love - by lbailey32 - United States (New York)

Today, my girlfriend of three weeks basically threatened to kill herself if I don't start thinking about having a child with her soon. FML

#21049518
260 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56779) - you deserved it (6480)

On 02/03/2014 at 5:47pm - love - by well i'm fucked (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my boyfriend gave me a teddy bear. I thought it was a sweet thing to do, until I saw him open a slit in its back while visiting later in the day and removing a bag of weed. He gave me a teddy bear just so he could smuggle drugs past my parents. FML

#21049461
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44522) - you deserved it (6116)

On 02/03/2014 at 4:29pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Suffolk)

Today, I dreamed that Robert Downey Jr. kept flirting with me and asking me out. Each time, I refused him, because I'm taken. When I proudly told my boyfriend, he said, "What the hell? I could've kissed the mouth that kissed the Iron Man!" FML

#21049393
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41160) - you deserved it (8350)

On 02/03/2014 at 3:11pm - love - by Can't Believe It. - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, after months of looking at cribs and picking out the perfect one for my unborn daughter, the store informed me that they no longer make that crib, even though the model is right there on the sales floor. I had to leave as my hormones got the best of me and I started bawling. FML

Today, after years of insomnia and going to doctors to help get a regular sleeping pattern, I finally fell asleep without the help of medication, only to dream about being chased by an angry seal and singing to Rihanna with a horse. This is probably why I don't sleep. FML

#21049132
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41932) - you deserved it (3878)

On 02/03/2014 at 8:29am - health - by Sleepless (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, as usual, I stress ate. After having my exams prolonged for an extra week, I ate three extremely large packs of Skittles, and then threw them all up. Taste the rainbow, puke the rainbow. FML

#21048665
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38300) - you deserved it (14254)

On 02/02/2014 at 10:26pm - health - by Sad Student - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my dogs freaked out and started getting violent because they thought the sound of my vibrator was the other's growling. FML

#21048300
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41049) - you deserved it (10342)

On 02/02/2014 at 4:50pm - animals - by foops (woman) - United Kingdom



Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML
  • Madonna must be the only person breathing a sigh of relief right now thanks to all the idiots arguing about the colour of a dress. Thanks to a badly-lit photograph, everyone seems to have forgotten that she super…

Friday 27 February 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: