About Kirito_Kazuto : Nothing interesting
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Kirito_Kazuto's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 02/27/2014 at 9:34am / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was doodling randomly during a meeting at work, and I noticed my drawing was beginning to look a bit like a penis. A coworker was eyeing it so I tried to make it something else by adding... oh good, now it's a penis and balls. FML
by doodler / 02/27/2014 at 6:59am / United States (Texas) / Work
by FallCameEarly / 02/27/2014 at 1:21am / United States (California) / Work
by Lori_ftw / 02/26/2014 at 10:28pm / United States (California) / Work
by Author / 02/24/2014 at 5:22pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy
Today, my pregnant wife's parents called me at work, saying she'd been crying inconsolably and wouldn't say what was wrong. After pleading with my boss, I rushed home. Turns out there was an "ugly" sofa in a TV ad and she felt it was "picking on ugly sofas". FML
by fuckmeitsgettingworse / 02/24/2014 at 2:36pm / United Kingdom (Derby) / Miscellaneous
by Good choice cat / 02/24/2014 at 2:05pm / United States (California) / Animals
by Anonymous / 02/24/2014 at 11:52am / United Kingdom (Dudley) / Love
Today, I went to the self-checkout line at Walmart. When I tried to pay, the cash wouldn't go in, so I stood there trying to cram money into the thing that's supposed to take your money. What I didn't realize was that there was a sign up top that said: "No Cash. Cards Only." FML
by I hate Walmart???? / 02/24/2014 at 4:36am / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous
by tornkhakis / 02/24/2014 at 2:20am / United States (Indiana) / Animals
by You Are My Sunshine / 02/23/2014 at 11:18pm / United States (California) / Love
Today, I was walking a dog at the animal hospital where I work when it pooped out a rag-like object. I told the doctor, who told me to clean it off to see what it was. It was a rainbow-colored thong. We have to give it back to the owner when they pick their dog up. FML
by crap / 02/23/2014 at 11:01pm / United States (Nevada) / Animals
Today, I was trying to study for a test when my brother and his friends decided to play the chant game, meaning one person yells something weird and everyone else has to say it back without laughing. All I heard for about two hours was them yelling things like, "DICK NIPPLES." FML
by DIY560 / 02/23/2014 at 10:59pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
Today, while walking barefoot through my house, I saw something shine on the floor across the hallway. Curious as to what it was, I rubbed my foot across the carpet to feel it. It wasn't until it was deeply lodged in my foot did I realize it was an open safety pin. FML
by owmyfoot / 02/23/2014 at 9:22pm / United States (California) / Health
by ninaaaa / 02/23/2014 at 7:34pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Miscellaneous
- Today, I discovered the reason my favorite stick of deodorant hasn't smelled right for the past two… Today, I found out my girlfriend doesn't go to work, she's actually been seeing another guy purely… Today, my girlfriend gave me my first handjob. I was nervous, so when she went to do it, I panicked…