Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Kirito_Kazuto

Search for a member

Kirito_Kazuto

65Fucked!

Kirito_KazutoKirito_Kazuto
  • Town/Country : South Gate, United States
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 37737
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About Kirito_Kazuto : Nothing interesting

Kirito_Kazuto's page activity

Visits<b>KatieKoala</b> - the 02/09/2016 at 12:33am<b>LivToFail</b> - the 02/07/2016 at 12:28am<b>Melodyrain</b> - the 01/19/2016 at 7:46am<b>expertsmilee</b> - the 01/08/2016 at 2:18pm<b>KagamineRinny</b> - the 01/03/2016 at 2:25am<b>kirstenmartin</b> - the 12/28/2015 at 10:14am<b>Snake1105</b> - the 12/22/2015 at 4:43pm<b>Miizuo</b> - the 12/14/2015 at 10:14am<b>W31rdG1rl</b> - the 12/10/2015 at 4:27am<b>apineapple</b> - the 12/03/2015 at 6:43pm<b>mzrayray</b> - the 11/27/2015 at 11:46pm<b>NoticeMeSenpai</b> - the 11/24/2015 at 4:22pm<b>mottos</b> - the 09/16/2015 at 10:39am<b>TheLostCauseFML</b> - the 09/02/2015 at 10:39pm<b>rainbowsandshit1</b> - the 08/20/2015 at 10:52pm<b>rainbow_llamas</b> - the 08/07/2015 at 12:24am<b>Jordaneth</b> - the 08/02/2015 at 2:12am<b>luridz</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 5:53pm

Fucked!<b>W31rdG1rl</b> - the 12/09/2015 at 4:15pm<b>williche002</b> - the 06/22/2015 at 6:56am<b>queensassygoat</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 6:45am<b>Dusty_Cups</b> - the 06/13/2015 at 8:54am<b>luridz</b> - the 06/12/2015 at 11:53am<b>Miss_Mandi</b> - the 06/12/2015 at 6:25am<b>rainbow_llamas</b> - the 06/05/2015 at 8:21am<b>jessieluvxo</b> - the 05/28/2015 at 9:47pm<b>justcause001</b> - the 05/28/2015 at 5:33pm<b>littlepiglola</b> - the 05/28/2015 at 1:30am<b>stereofeathers</b> - the 05/26/2015 at 2:30pm<b>apineapple</b> - the 05/26/2015 at 4:39am<b>IvyRizzzzoli</b> - the 05/23/2015 at 3:53am<b>amine91</b> - the 05/20/2015 at 5:49pm<b>ToxicPlant</b> - the 05/11/2015 at 1:45pm<b>SilentSilver001</b> - the 05/11/2015 at 4:15am<b>fallenkilljoy</b> - the 05/09/2015 at 8:12am<b>ejs9576349</b> - the 05/08/2015 at 1:02am

Kirito_Kazuto's FML badges

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Facebook

Between your Facebook account and your FML account, things are no longer complicated: their relationship is official. We like this.

See all of Kirito_Kazuto's badges

Kirito_Kazuto's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out how much those tiny dogs cost when my German Shepherd ate one. FML

#21377263
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33681) - you deserved it (11551)

On 03/18/2015 at 6:23pm - animals - by brokeforever (man) - Latvia (Riga)

Today, after months of job hunting, I finally got a phone call. They were impressed with me. That's when my son decided to throw a tantrum asking for food. After some silence, the caller told me they were looking for someone who wasn't juggling little kids at home and hung up. My son is 20. FML

#21377225
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36117) - you deserved it (5705)

On 03/18/2015 at 5:26pm - kids - by Stressed Mother (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, during an exam, the guy next to me tried to cheat by looking at my test but was caught by the proctor. His defense was that no one would ever cheat off me. The proctor agreed and allowed him to finish the test. FML

#21376924
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36899) - you deserved it (6169)

On 03/18/2015 at 4:37am - misc - by Speechless - United States (California)

Today, I got my first handjob. I also found out today that a girl can pull your skin hard enough to cause it to bleed profusely. FML

#21371903
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38785) - you deserved it (4384)

On 03/10/2015 at 3:11pm - intimacy - by Anonymous -

Today, I overcame my lack of social confidence and got a date for the first time in 10 or so years. After a while, my date admitted that she's a schizophrenic with dissociative identity disorder. I guess it's back to being single. FML

#21371640
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28920) - you deserved it (6992)

On 03/10/2015 at 2:02am - love - by CrazyInLove - United States (Colorado)

Today, my mom demanded that I go into the basement and fix the water heater. I told her that I had no idea how to fix it, so she threw my phone down the stairs, told me to Google it, and locked the basement door behind me. It's been two hours. FML

#21371408
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34919) - you deserved it (3071)

On 03/09/2015 at 8:28pm - misc - by MyMomIsInsane - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I had a talk with my daughter about how I hope her first boyfriend is a special one because 'spending the night' with a boy is a big deal. She replied with a giggle, "Mom, I lost my virginity in a parking lot three years ago!" FML

#21362728
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40101) - you deserved it (8848)

On 02/24/2015 at 5:25pm - intimacy - by Like mother like daughter (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, it was snowing but I had to let my dog out, so I picked him up and carried him outside. I slipped, landed on him and ended up breaking his leg. FML

#21359968
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34831) - you deserved it (6792)

On 02/20/2015 at 6:49pm - animals - by anonymous - United States (Arkansas)

Today, a police car hit my parked vehicle, likely due to icy road conditions. When the officer came over to talk to me, I assumed it was to give me his insurance information. Nope. It was to give me a ticket for 'impeding a police officer'. My car was in my driveway. FML

#21357102
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43005) - you deserved it (2418)

On 02/16/2015 at 1:01am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I took a nice relaxing dump at school, in my pants, in the middle of class. FML

#21350418
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33286) - you deserved it (7962)

On 02/05/2015 at 3:42pm - misc - by m33p - United States (California)

Today, I was in charge of taking a delivery of new office chairs for the meeting room at work. The delivery men took the old chairs, but left without delivering the new ones. I can't get in contact with them, and we have a big meeting first thing tomorrow. FML

Today, my wife's boyfriend learned that you can't flush condoms. FML

#21348539
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48842) - you deserved it (3422)

On 02/02/2015 at 6:59pm - intimacy - by StantheMan93 (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my boyfriend "accidentally" had sex with my roommate. FML

#21348376
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48835) - you deserved it (4146)

On 02/02/2015 at 2:34pm - intimacy - by itsemilyc - United States (Michigan)

Today, my Breaking Bad obsessed boyfriend actually used the phrase "I am the one who cocks." during foreplay. My vagina just about turned into a desert on the spot. FML

#21347719
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34468) - you deserved it (4076)

On 02/01/2015 at 11:17am - intimacy - by SKYYYLLLARRRR!!!! (woman) - United States (Illinois)



FML's blog

  • Eni's illustrated FML
  • Greetings worshipers of lines and colours! This week, with the help of a talented young illustrator we’re checking kids out. No, not like that. Damn, that sounded bad. We’re taking a different look a…

Friday 12 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: