About Kirito_Kazuto : Nothing interesting
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Kirito_Kazuto's favorite FMLs
Today, when I dropped my 6-year-old daughter off at school, a little boy ran up to her so I asked his name. My daughter explained: "Oh, don't pay any attention to him, he's my slave. He's come to carry my bag. See you later, mom!" FML
by mafille / 03/18/2015 at 11:22pm / France / Kids
by brokeforever / 03/18/2015 at 6:23pm / Latvia (Riga) / Animals
Today, after months of job hunting, I finally got a phone call. They were impressed with me. That's when my son decided to throw a tantrum asking for food. After some silence, the caller told me they were looking for someone who wasn't juggling little kids at home and hung up. My son is 20. FML
by Stressed Mother / 03/18/2015 at 5:26pm / United States (New Jersey) / Kids
Today, during an exam, the guy next to me tried to cheat by looking at my test but was caught by the proctor. His defense was that no one would ever cheat off me. The proctor agreed and allowed him to finish the test. FML
by Speechless / 03/18/2015 at 4:37am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I overcame my lack of social confidence and got a date for the first time in 10 or so years. After a while, my date admitted that she's a schizophrenic with dissociative identity disorder. I guess it's back to being single. FML
by CrazyInLove / 03/10/2015 at 2:02am / United States (Colorado) / Love
Today, my mom demanded that I go into the basement and fix the water heater. I told her that I had no idea how to fix it, so she threw my phone down the stairs, told me to Google it, and locked the basement door behind me. It's been two hours. FML
by MyMomIsInsane / 03/09/2015 at 8:28pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
Today, I had a talk with my daughter about how I hope her first boyfriend is a special one because 'spending the night' with a boy is a big deal. She replied with a giggle, "Mom, I lost my virginity in a parking lot three years ago!" FML
by Like mother like daughter / 02/24/2015 at 5:25pm / United States (Colorado) / Intimacy
by anonymous / 02/20/2015 at 6:49pm / United States (Arkansas) / Animals
Today, a police car hit my parked vehicle, likely due to icy road conditions. When the officer came over to talk to me, I assumed it was to give me his insurance information. Nope. It was to give me a ticket for 'impeding a police officer'. My car was in my driveway. FML
by Anonymous / 02/16/2015 at 1:01am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous
by m33p / 02/05/2015 at 3:42pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was in charge of taking a delivery of new office chairs for the meeting room at work. The delivery men took the old chairs, but left without delivering the new ones. I can't get in contact with them, and we have a big meeting first thing tomorrow. FML
by ansarias / 02/03/2015 at 9:35am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Work
by StantheMan93 / 02/02/2015 at 6:59pm / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy
by itsemilyc / 02/02/2015 at 2:34pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy
by SKYYYLLLARRRR!!!! / 02/01/2015 at 11:17am / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, I was eating my lunch. When I opened my mouth to eat a spoonful of rice, a bee flew right…