Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Kirito_Kazuto

Online | Search for a member

Kirito_Kazuto

32Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 21286
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About Kirito_Kazuto : Eyy' dere~ before I waste any of your valuable time with this long paragraph of a bio that you are currently reading; I want you to know that I'm nothing more than simply an exceedingly below-average, weird, & boring guy who's a kid at heart" (To those who are curious & are currently further reading this at the moment; at first when you see me, I may seem incredibly shy, but if you ever get the chance to really know me, then you're in for a butt-surprise) x3 Please, don't be shy & just message me if you want to chat &/or would like to learn more about my awkwardness ~( • P• )~ By the way, I'm a Christian, straight, I wear prescription glasses & I also have terrible eye bags/dark circles under my eyes. I used to be an outgoing person, but now I just stay home x; I also love playing video games, watching Anime & I'm proud of it~ "YEEE~!" *~High-fives ownself~* 83 "Don't hate or else your presence isn't welcome here."*~Opens the front-door & points outside~* "There's the exit." o/

Kirito_Kazuto's page activity

Visits<b>Melodyrain</b> - one hour ago<b>PlainWhiteWalls</b> - 2 hours ago<b>hard_candy</b> - 5 hours ago<b>xX_kitty_Xx</b> - 14 hours ago<b>CatLady4Lyf</b> - 15 hours ago<b>skellingtonfart</b> - 18 hours ago<b>fatiezzhm</b> - 21 hours ago<b>ariesfyre00</b> - yesterday at 7:45pm<b>UkeSenpai</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 8:21pm<b>cheeeksss</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 6:04am<b>blufishie</b> - the 02/28/2015 at 6:49pm<b>lucythomson</b> - the 02/28/2015 at 8:00am<b>Sassy_Kitten96</b> - the 02/28/2015 at 7:09am<b>Sethan01</b> - the 02/27/2015 at 10:50pm<b>SilentSilver001</b> - the 02/27/2015 at 7:12pm<b>Superdouchebag</b> - the 02/27/2015 at 4:20am<b>FoodIsMyAmbrosia</b> - the 02/27/2015 at 12:31am<b>FloWPs</b> - the 02/26/2015 at 3:19pm

Liked!<b>skellingtonfart</b> - 12 hours ago<b>Miizuo</b> - the 02/25/2015 at 12:47pm<b>WeChaseClouds</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 4:26am<b>SlowDownImaNoob</b> - the 02/15/2015 at 3:14am<b>Melodyrain</b> - the 02/13/2015 at 7:35am<b>Lesser</b> - the 01/23/2015 at 9:38am<b>Snake1105</b> - the 01/21/2015 at 1:35pm<b>NarutoLove</b> - the 01/19/2015 at 9:28am<b>blondbombshell13</b> - the 01/19/2015 at 4:47am<b>royr7395</b> - the 01/15/2015 at 9:30am<b>Leigghhh</b> - the 01/11/2015 at 1:25pm<b>SHADOWS565</b> - the 01/11/2015 at 12:17am<b>kitcat517</b> - the 01/11/2015 at 12:05am<b>clairesucks</b> - the 01/05/2015 at 12:03pm<b>Crystal4</b> - the 01/05/2015 at 5:52am<b>____gerard____</b> - the 01/02/2015 at 11:35am<b>UserOfTheMind</b> - the 11/29/2014 at 10:38am<b>TheIlluminatii</b> - the 11/25/2014 at 3:26am

Kirito_Kazuto's FML badges

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Facebook

Between your Facebook account and your FML account, things are no longer complicated: their relationship is official. We like this.

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

See all of Kirito_Kazuto's badges

Kirito_Kazuto's favorite FMLs

Today, after getting into bed, I found a used condom under my covers. I asked my roommate about it. She freely admitted that since my bed was comfier than hers, she had sex with her boyfriend on it. FML

#21333313
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37285) - you deserved it (2460)

On 01/08/2015 at 2:10pm - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, a girl from class screamed at me in public for hugging the guy she likes. She threatened to take me out if I didn't "back off". That guy is my boyfriend. FML

#21333251
113 comments

Today, my boyfriend told me that he gets more pleasure out of using a Q-tip than he does having sex with me. FML

#21333219
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32734) - you deserved it (4825)

On 01/08/2015 at 9:24am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Estonia (Harjumaa)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me over a stupid argument, but after a long day we made up and got back together. Not long afterwards, my friend called, feeling guilty and confessing that he had sex with her after finding out she'd dumped me. FML

#21332729
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39204) - you deserved it (3150)

On 01/07/2015 at 2:37pm - love - by Anonymous - Guam

Today, one of my friends posted on Facebook saying if you're held up at an ATM, putting your PIN in backwards will alert the cops. I pointed out it's an urban legend, and asked how it'd work if their PIN was the same backwards. He drove over and beat the crap out of me. FML

#21332664
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34454) - you deserved it (5131)

On 01/07/2015 at 12:07pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, I was lying in bed with my girlfriend. Trying to be romantic, I complimented her on how nice her hair smelled. She replied: "Yeah? Wait till you smell this." then let out the vilest, most nauseating fart I'd ever smelled in my life. FML

#21330185
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35341) - you deserved it (6657)

On 01/03/2015 at 7:23pm - love - by allgassedout (man) - United States (California)

Today, I got a call from my roommate's mother, asking me to hide her flip flops so she couldn't wear them out in sub-zero temperatures. FML

#21327005
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26281) - you deserved it (2509)

On 12/30/2014 at 4:57am - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Oxfordshire)

Today, I got mugged while walking my dog. He seemed to be OK with it. FML

#21326870
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27371) - you deserved it (2506)

On 12/29/2014 at 11:17pm - animals - by woofwoof - Turkey (Izmir)

Today, I slept on the plane ride home and had a scary nightmare. I started screaming in my dream, so loud that it shocked the old lady sitting next to me into screaming as well. The whole plane began laughing as we were both screaming. FML

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. Things got heated and I yelled, "Who's your daddy?" With a blank expression she replied, "I don't know." FML

#21326143
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30361) - you deserved it (15237)

On 12/28/2014 at 9:49pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Delaware)

Today, at the airport, a lady bitched me out for changing her departure gate. She called me incompetent and accused me of "messing with people's lives" by "making them walk." I didn't change the gate, and the other gate was less than 10 feet away. FML

#21325932
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30732) - you deserved it (2058)

On 12/28/2014 at 3:12pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I got a gift-wrapped package in the mail from my racist mother-in-law. She's always hated me, so I thought it was a bit strange. Inside was a squirt gun and a note telling me to take my "black ass" for a walk around a police station with it, followed with a smiley face. FML

#21325871
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40274) - you deserved it (2984)

On 12/28/2014 at 1:41pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boss sent me a Word document that he wanted me to make into a PowerPoint presentation for him. It was a set of proposals for the board of directors about cost-saving options. The third option was to eliminate my position in the company. FML

#21325772
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29445) - you deserved it (1785)

On 12/28/2014 at 8:56am - work - by HALIFAAA (man) - Germany (Niedersachsen)

Today, I was playing what became an extremely intense game of hide-and-seek with my best friend's sister. I finally found the perfect place, so I slid down into the bath and began to cover myself. She popped up out of nowhere and said, "FOUND YOU!" I got so scared that I punched her in the face. FML

#21325704
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28628) - you deserved it (7173)

On 12/28/2014 at 4:07am - kids - by angryman -

Today, my mom and I went to exchange a massive stuffed animal, which was meant for my niece. I was carrying it when I saw a really hot guy looking at me funny. My mom snickered and told him that I never go anywhere without "George". FML

#21325643
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31135) - you deserved it (2882)

On 12/28/2014 at 1:52am - misc - by thanks a lot mom - United States (California)



Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Best of the Worst #12
  • Another month, another bunch of shitposts. Yes, it's time to delve into the postbag and have another look at the weird and wonderful stuff we've been sent by people from all over the world. Hope you…

Tuesday 3 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: