Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Kirito_Kazuto

Online | Search for a member

Kirito_Kazuto

37Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 25995
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About Kirito_Kazuto : Eyy' dere~ before I waste any of your valuable time with this long paragraph of a bio that you are currently reading; I want you to know that I'm nothing more than simply an exceedingly below-average, weird, & boring guy who's a kid at heart" (To those who are curious & are currently further reading this at the moment; at first when you see me, I may seem incredibly shy, but if you ever get the chance to really know me, then you're in for a butt-surprise) x3 Please, don't be shy & just message me if you want to chat &/or would like to learn more about my awkwardness ~( • P• )~ By the way, I'm a Christian, straight, I wear prescription glasses & I also have terrible eye bags/dark circles under my eyes. I used to be an outgoing person, but now I just stay home x; I also love playing video games, watching Anime & I'm proud of it~ "YEEE~!" *~High-fives ownself~* 83 "Don't hate or else your presence isn't welcome here."*~Opens the front-door & points outside~* "There's the exit." o/

Kirito_Kazuto's page activity

Visits<b>mzrayray</b> - 12 hours ago<b>UkeSenpai</b> - yesterday at 4:46pm<b>Miizuo</b> - yesterday at 3:50am<b>_Tater_Tot_</b> - yesterday at 2:18am<b>m_warner1</b> - the 04/23/2015 at 10:00pm<b>haylburg</b> - the 04/23/2015 at 6:29pm<b>Melodyrain</b> - the 04/23/2015 at 3:17pm<b>Leigghhh</b> - the 04/23/2015 at 12:15pm<b>the_aspect</b> - the 04/23/2015 at 10:12am<b>cjschwartz</b> - the 04/22/2015 at 11:07pm<b>iHiccupBS</b> - the 04/21/2015 at 10:40pm<b>cutycat136</b> - the 04/18/2015 at 10:05am<b>sh4rpestl1ves</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 7:04pm<b>mottos</b> - the 04/15/2015 at 4:10am<b>aznmuffin44</b> - the 04/15/2015 at 3:55am<b>longlivelife</b> - the 04/14/2015 at 4:54pm<b>HarryHirsch</b> - the 04/14/2015 at 2:54am<b>rainbowsandshit1</b> - the 04/13/2015 at 9:42pm

Fucked!<b>the_aspect</b> - the 04/23/2015 at 4:12pm<b>sh4rpestl1ves</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 1:04am<b>SabrinaEpic3</b> - the 03/29/2015 at 7:21pm<b>kaitio331</b> - the 03/22/2015 at 5:51am<b>qwertsarecool122</b> - the 03/18/2015 at 3:56am<b>skellingtonfart</b> - the 03/03/2015 at 4:10pm<b>Miizuo</b> - the 02/25/2015 at 12:47pm<b>WeChaseClouds</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 4:26am<b>SlowDownImaNoob</b> - the 02/15/2015 at 3:14am<b>Melodyrain</b> - the 02/13/2015 at 7:35am<b>Lesser</b> - the 01/23/2015 at 9:38am<b>Snake1105</b> - the 01/21/2015 at 1:35pm<b>NarutoLove</b> - the 01/19/2015 at 9:28am<b>blondbombshell13</b> - the 01/19/2015 at 4:47am<b>royr7395</b> - the 01/15/2015 at 9:30am<b>Leigghhh</b> - the 01/11/2015 at 1:25pm<b>SHADOWS565</b> - the 01/11/2015 at 12:17am<b>kitcat517</b> - the 01/11/2015 at 12:05am

Kirito_Kazuto's FML badges

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Facebook

Between your Facebook account and your FML account, things are no longer complicated: their relationship is official. We like this.

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

See all of Kirito_Kazuto's badges

Kirito_Kazuto's favorite FMLs

Today, at the soup kitchen I volunteer at, a guy called the food crap and threatened to shove his bowl up my ass if I didn't give him something better. FML

#21340847
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30280) - you deserved it (2490)

On 01/20/2015 at 8:23am - work - by klaatu barada nikto (man) - United States (Iowa)

Today, my 15 year old sister asked which animal rice comes from. She believed every word when my mum told her it's harvested from tiny cows in Asia. FML

#21340484
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27833) - you deserved it (2269)

On 01/19/2015 at 7:45pm - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, while on my driving test, the guy told me to pull over and do a U-turn. A few minutes later, he asked me to do another one. After the test, he said I'd failed because the second U-turn was illegal, and I should have refused to comply. I didn't know they're even allowed do that. FML

#21340454
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35708) - you deserved it (5022)

On 01/19/2015 at 6:58pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, my crush was giving me a ride home. As we pulled up to my house, he looked into my eyes with a sweet smile and said the words every girl wants to hear - "Do you give head?" FML

#21339980
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37036) - you deserved it (5866)

On 01/19/2015 at 12:35am - intimacy - by anon - United States (Texas)

Today, I took my driving test. I was really nervous, but I thought I did pretty well in the end. That is until I parked the car and looked to the examiner. He was visibly shaken. He said I'd passed, quickly filled in the paperwork and left. On the downside, my car still smells of his shart. FML

#21339037
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31304) - you deserved it (3403)

On 01/17/2015 at 5:24pm - misc - by for shite's sake (man) - United Kingdom (Kirklees)

Today, my girlfriend asked me not to love her so much, so she doesn't have to try so hard to match my love for her. What the fuck? FML

#21338940
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27546) - you deserved it (8541)

On 01/17/2015 at 2:00pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I realized that while I've been the same minuscule height for the past five years, my feet won't stop growing. I'm 5 foot and a size 12. I look like a clown. FML

#21338417
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28444) - you deserved it (5762)

On 01/16/2015 at 5:15pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my mother kindly brought me some soup as was recovering from having my tonsils out. Spicy Mexican bean soup. Yep, very spicy. FML

#21338407
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27148) - you deserved it (2095)

On 01/16/2015 at 4:59pm - health - by Jensa (woman) - United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire)

Today, like every other day at work, I had to listen to people talk about being addicted to sex. I have to treat people for addiction to something I've never even had. FML

#21337533
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30332) - you deserved it (4605)

On 01/15/2015 at 10:12am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I was trying on a shirt and asked my boyfriend if he liked it. He replied, "If I say no, can we still have sex tonight?" FML

#21336880
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30009) - you deserved it (5702)

On 01/14/2015 at 8:58am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, I found myself wondering if my sister's jaw makes the same clicking sound when she's giving head as it does when she's eating food. FML

Today, I went to take a piss in a public bathroom. Somehow, I managed to completely jam the lock. After minutes of trying to get myself out, I gave up and crawled under the stall, at which point someone walked in and was very surprised to see me on the floor. FML

#21336053
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25349) - you deserved it (2803)

On 01/12/2015 at 9:47pm - misc - by downinthedumps - United States (Michigan)

Today, my girlfriend gave me my first handjob. I was nervous, so when she went to do it, I panicked and yelled, "Firmly grasp it!" She then couldn't stop laughing because it was a line from SpongeBob. FML

Today, my girlfriend gave me my first handjob. I was nervous, so when she went to do it, I panicked and yelled, "Firmly grasp it!" She then couldn't stop laughing because it was a line from SpongeBob. FML

Today, I had to call a few different women and explain to them that my little brother had catfished them. I had to do it because he is mute and my parents were too busy screaming at him. FML

#21335978
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25936) - you deserved it (1831)

On 01/12/2015 at 8:11pm - misc - by PO'd big bro - United States (Georgia)



FML's blog

  • FML's Question Time #2 : School
  • We tried this before and it went pretty well, so here's another blog section for everyone to have give their opinion on a popular but controversial subject. OK, we're not debating a…

Thursday 23 April 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: