About Kirito_Kazuto : Nothing interesting
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Between your Facebook account and your FML account, things are no longer complicated: their relationship is official. We like this.
Kirito_Kazuto's favorite FMLs
by poor teacher / 09/23/2013 at 1:54pm / United States (Utah) / Miscellaneous
by User / 09/23/2013 at 1:53pm / United States (Michigan) / Love
Today, I got a text from someone I met last night at a bar. We texted all day and planned to meet up later. The whole time I had in my mind who he was, but when we met up it was someone completely different that I didn't remember. I had to sit through the whole date pretending I knew him. FML
by MixMastaKDizzle / 09/23/2013 at 4:23am / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous
Today, one of my regular customers asked when we were getting married. I told him as much as I would love that, I didn't think my boyfriend would be very happy. He called me a "stuck up b*tch" and informed me he only comes to my line because he can always see through my shirt. He is 72. And married. FML
by peejay6831 / 09/23/2013 at 2:27am / United States / Work
Today, my 2-year-old daughter overheard my wife and I arguing and fixated on one particular insult my wife threw at me. Now my daughter won't stop saying "Daddy a numbnuts", always with a big smile on her face. FML
by numbnuts / 09/23/2013 at 1:48am / Canada (British Columbia) / Kids
Today, I started shaking my son's Little Bill doll in frustration, as the batteries weren't working. My nosy neighbor saw through the window and called the cops. They wouldn't believe me and now the whole neighborhood thinks I'm a child abuser. FML
by baddad / 09/23/2013 at 12:44am / United States / Kids
Today, my mother asked me if she could borrow $200. Being the lovely daughter I am, I gave her my bank card to withdraw it herself. She gambled it away and maxed my bank account out. I had $1500 saved. FML
by Anonymous / 09/22/2013 at 10:56pm / United States (California) / Money
Today, I texted my girlfriend to tell her that we couldn't hang out because my dog died this morning and we were burying him. She replied that she wasn't going to get stood up by a stupid dog. She then broke up with me. FML
by really? / 09/22/2013 at 10:24pm / United States / Love
Today, my sister and her two-year-old came to my place for a visit. Not long after arriving, my niece ripped off her diaper and immediately took a dump on my white carpet. Guess who had to 'suddenly' leave afterwards, leaving me to clean up the mess. FML
by Anonymous / 09/22/2013 at 8:08pm / United States (North Carolina) / Kids
by peacechick71 / 09/22/2013 at 7:30pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
Today, my boss made me play golf with some executives of a company we're hoping to secure a business deal with, despite me having no golf training. My first swing ended up with me being rushed to the hospital. FML
by Anonymous / 09/22/2013 at 5:40pm / United States (Maryland) / Health
by soannoyed / 09/22/2013 at 5:21pm / United States / Kids
by mish / 09/22/2013 at 4:41pm / United Kingdom (Herefordshire) / Love
Today, I started my new job at a restaurant I really like. As I waited on my first customer, I suggested that he try the apple pie, because it's my favourite. He looked up at me and said, "Yeah? Figures! Lay off 'em, porky!" FML
by -_- / 09/22/2013 at 2:00pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work
by msmidnight1965 / 09/22/2013 at 1:22pm / Canada / Kids
- Today, I found my daughters hiding spot. Yeah there was dolls, matchbox cars and coloring markers.… Today, I ran an experiment perfectly in lab. I was the last in my class to finish and proud of how… Today, I finally went to talk to my neighbour upstairs. He is always throwing his cigarette buts on…