Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Kirito_Kazuto

Offline (5 hours ago) | Search for a member

Kirito_Kazuto

31Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 21055
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About Kirito_Kazuto : Eyy' dere~ before I waste any of your valuable time with this long paragraph of a bio that you are currently reading; I want you to know that I'm nothing more than simply an exceedingly below-average, weird, & boring guy who's a kid at heart" (To those who are curious & are currently further reading this at the moment; at first when you see me, I may seem incredibly shy, but if you ever get the chance to really know me, then you're in for a butt-surprise) x3 Please, don't be shy & just message me if you want to chat &/or would like to learn more about my awkwardness ~( • P• )~ By the way, I'm a Christian, straight, I wear prescription glasses & I also have terrible eye bags/dark circles under my eyes. I used to be an outgoing person, but now I just stay home x; I also love playing video games, watching Anime & I'm proud of it~ "YEEE~!" *~High-fives ownself~* 83 "Don't hate or else your presence isn't welcome here."*~Opens the front-door & points outside~* "There's the exit." o/

Kirito_Kazuto's page activity

Visits<b>cheeeksss</b> - 6 hours ago<b>PlainWhiteWalls</b> - 10 hours ago<b>blufishie</b> - 17 hours ago<b>fatiezzhm</b> - 24 hours ago<b>lucythomson</b> - yesterday at 8:00am<b>Sassy_Kitten96</b> - yesterday at 7:09am<b>Melodyrain</b> - yesterday at 3:23am<b>Sethan01</b> - yesterday at 10:50pm<b>SilentSilver001</b> - yesterday at 7:12pm<b>Superdouchebag</b> - the 02/27/2015 at 4:20am<b>FoodIsMyAmbrosia</b> - the 02/27/2015 at 12:31am<b>FloWPs</b> - the 02/26/2015 at 3:19pm<b>bunnyboo83</b> - the 02/25/2015 at 10:25pm<b>Miizuo</b> - the 02/25/2015 at 6:47am<b>charrbee90</b> - the 02/25/2015 at 3:38am<b>WeChaseClouds</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 10:51pm<b>royr7395</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 10:51pm<b>SabrinaEpic3</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 8:12pm

Liked!<b>Miizuo</b> - the 02/25/2015 at 12:47pm<b>WeChaseClouds</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 4:26am<b>SlowDownImaNoob</b> - the 02/15/2015 at 3:14am<b>Melodyrain</b> - the 02/13/2015 at 7:35am<b>Lesser</b> - the 01/23/2015 at 9:38am<b>Snake1105</b> - the 01/21/2015 at 1:35pm<b>NarutoLove</b> - the 01/19/2015 at 9:28am<b>blondbombshell13</b> - the 01/19/2015 at 4:47am<b>royr7395</b> - the 01/15/2015 at 9:30am<b>Leigghhh</b> - the 01/11/2015 at 1:25pm<b>SHADOWS565</b> - the 01/11/2015 at 12:17am<b>kitcat517</b> - the 01/11/2015 at 12:05am<b>clairesucks</b> - the 01/05/2015 at 12:03pm<b>Crystal4</b> - the 01/05/2015 at 5:52am<b>____gerard____</b> - the 01/02/2015 at 11:35am<b>UserOfTheMind</b> - the 11/29/2014 at 10:38am<b>TheIlluminatii</b> - the 11/25/2014 at 3:26am<b>zBerryz</b> - the 11/22/2014 at 2:04pm

Kirito_Kazuto's FML badges

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Facebook

Between your Facebook account and your FML account, things are no longer complicated: their relationship is official. We like this.

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

See all of Kirito_Kazuto's badges

Kirito_Kazuto's favorite FMLs

Today, I had a talk with my daughter about how I hope her first boyfriend is a special one because 'spending the night' with a boy is a big deal. She replied with a giggle, "Mom, I lost my virginity in a parking lot three years ago!" FML

#21362728
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29634) - you deserved it (6297)

On 02/24/2015 at 5:25pm - intimacy - by Like mother like daughter (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, it was snowing but I had to let my dog out, so I picked him up and carried him outside. I slipped, landed on him and ended up breaking his leg. FML

#21359968
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31390) - you deserved it (6083)

On 02/20/2015 at 6:49pm - animals - by anonymous - United States (Arkansas)

Today, a police car hit my parked vehicle, likely due to icy road conditions. When the officer came over to talk to me, I assumed it was to give me his insurance information. Nope. It was to give me a ticket for 'impeding a police officer'. My car was in my driveway. FML

#21357102
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39037) - you deserved it (2037)

On 02/16/2015 at 1:01am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I took a nice relaxing dump at school, in my pants, in the middle of class. FML

#21350418
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30970) - you deserved it (7082)

On 02/05/2015 at 3:42pm - misc - by m33p - United States (California)

Today, I was in charge of taking a delivery of new office chairs for the meeting room at work. The delivery men took the old chairs, but left without delivering the new ones. I can't get in contact with them, and we have a big meeting first thing tomorrow. FML

Today, my wife's boyfriend learned that you can't flush condoms. FML

#21348539
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43196) - you deserved it (2581)

On 02/02/2015 at 6:59pm - intimacy - by StantheMan93 (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my boyfriend "accidentally" had sex with my roommate. FML

#21348376
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43913) - you deserved it (3198)

On 02/02/2015 at 2:34pm - intimacy - by itsemilyc - United States (Michigan)

Today, my Breaking Bad obsessed boyfriend actually used the phrase "I am the one who cocks." during foreplay. My vagina just about turned into a desert on the spot. FML

#21347719
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29895) - you deserved it (3281)

On 02/01/2015 at 11:17am - intimacy - by SKYYYLLLARRRR!!!! (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I had a job interview at a café. The interviewer asked me my availability and I told her that I was fully flexible. She laughed and said, "Really? That's tragic." FML

#21345516
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25554) - you deserved it (2251)

On 01/28/2015 at 8:09am - work - by tipmeover (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, is the blizzard. I have to go into work, my boss threatened to fire me if I didn't show up. I sent him a picture of the snow completely covering my car. He said I moved the snow there and could move it back. FML

#21345232
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26550) - you deserved it (1745)

On 01/27/2015 at 6:50pm - work - by bitchypast - United States (Maine)

Today, after I got home from a long day at work. I go inside my room and find a life-size cut out of Miley Cyrus. I don't know how it got here. I'm the only person with a key to my apartment. FML

#21345231
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28782) - you deserved it (1978)

On 01/27/2015 at 6:46pm - misc - by I'm screwed - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was getting a haircut. During the haircut, the barber cut her hand. She hesitated for a minute then continued to run her hands through and cut my hair with her bloody fingers. FML

Today, while breast feeding my 7 month old before his nap, I hummed his favorite song as I rocked. He pulled away, stared at me, and cried til I shut up. FML

#21342394
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26704) - you deserved it (4300)

On 01/22/2015 at 5:36pm - kids - by ameliaruth09 (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I found out my boyfriend dresses in my underwear and tights, takes suggestive shots of his ass and legs, and uses them to trick people into thinking he's a girl so they buy him stuff in his online games. FML

#21340885
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32748) - you deserved it (3406)

On 01/20/2015 at 10:08am - misc - by mybfthecrossdresser (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, at the soup kitchen I volunteer at, a guy called the food crap and threatened to shove his bowl up my ass if I didn't give him something better. FML

#21340847
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29333) - you deserved it (2289)

On 01/20/2015 at 8:23am - work - by klaatu barada nikto (man) - United States (Iowa)



Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML
  • Madonna must be the only person breathing a sigh of relief right now thanks to all the idiots arguing about the colour of a dress. Thanks to a badly-lit photograph, everyone seems to have forgotten that she super…

Friday 27 February 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: