King_paradox

Search for a member

Offline (the 10/05/2015 at 1:21am)

King_paradox

1Fucked!

King_paradoxKing_paradox
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 9 April 1996 (20 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 12915
  • Number of comments : 108
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 16 posted

About King_paradox : I'm a wizim

=E=

It's a wizim thing

King_paradox's page activity

Visits<b>Princess_Eevee9</b> - the 07/30/2015 at 12:55am<b>Capitan</b> - the 07/27/2015 at 5:03pm<b>shmoooopie</b> - the 07/02/2015 at 2:37am<b>littlekellilee</b> - the 07/01/2015 at 2:09pm<b>jerryj</b> - the 07/01/2015 at 12:01pm<b>kobrien1369</b> - the 07/01/2015 at 10:01am<b>LoverWordsFood</b> - the 07/01/2015 at 6:55am<b>_DILYNN_</b> - the 06/22/2015 at 2:17pm<b>Enslaved</b> - the 06/06/2015 at 6:17pm<b>Mukuro</b> - the 02/27/2015 at 8:16pm<b>EvanescenceLuv</b> - the 02/11/2015 at 3:37pm<b>groovy579</b> - the 02/08/2015 at 5:51am<b>mitchumcrew</b> - the 01/23/2015 at 8:52am<b>CrumpledQuill</b> - the 01/23/2015 at 1:23am<b>enddmd</b> - the 01/22/2015 at 11:02pm<b>Suchadiva</b> - the 01/22/2015 at 9:10pm<b>7382929</b> - the 12/30/2014 at 8:09pm<b>blueblu97</b> - the 12/30/2014 at 6:40pm

Fucked!<b>enddmd</b> - the 01/23/2015 at 5:03am

King_paradox's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

See all of King_paradox's badges

King_paradox's favorite FMLs

Today, I went out with my best friend to McDonald's for a late night snack. Turns out she lied to me and just used me to pick up the boy she likes so they could go stargazing. I'm now laying beside them as they look at the stars and make out. I just want fries. FML

by emilyparker / 08/31/2014 at 10:55pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, while eating cotton candy, a drunk person came up to me and said "HEY! COTTON CANDY!" And bit me. FML

by Anonymous / 08/31/2014 at 10:18pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, at my dining job, my boss told me the food was "technically illegal to serve," air quotes and all. FML

by dining / 08/31/2014 at 9:56pm / United States (Iowa) / Work

Today, I returned from my first paid vacation in the past 2 years from a place with no cell, or internet. I've just found out that our department has been downsized. FML

by Happy Employee / 08/31/2014 at 5:51pm / United States (California) / Work

Today, my parents sat me down and told me that I'm adopted. I took it in stride, and reassured them that as far as I'm concerned, they're my true parents. That annoyed them. Apparently the whole thing was a prank for a YouTube video, which I ruined by not crying or freaking out. FML

by hannahka / 08/29/2014 at 2:09pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids

Today, after finally getting rid of an extremely rude, abusive customer, I muttered that I could kill people like her. I didn't know my manager had heard me, until a pair of police officers arrived. He'd reported me for "threatening to murder a customer". FML

by Anonymous / 08/29/2014 at 12:17pm / United Kingdom (Slough) / Work

Today, it's been three weeks since my dad finished growing what he calls a "Jesus beard" and gone out asking for donations and claiming to be Jesus Christ. I've been trying and failing to get a job for 2 years, and he's already raking in cash from gullible idiots. FML

by Anonymous / 08/29/2014 at 12:16pm / United States (Texas) / Money

Today, my brother told my 3 year old son that cool kids call their parents by their real names. This wouldn't be half as bad if he hadn't also convinced my son that my real name was Satan. FML

by Amithatevil / 08/29/2014 at 8:35am / Japan (Kanagawa) / Kids

Today, I dreamed I was wrestling an alligator. I quickly woke up to my girlfriend yelling and me holding her in a headlock. FML

by AgentOrion / 08/29/2014 at 12:16am / United States (Alabama) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went on a date with the world's biggest lightweight. She got blind drunk on wine before dessert, and slurred, "You look like... like a black... blueberry." Amused, I said, "You mean a blackberry?" She stared at me for several long seconds, confused, then passed out. Check please. FML

by wowzer / 08/28/2014 at 3:58pm / Puerto Rico / Love

Today, my new boyfriend and I got intimate for the first time. He started whispering in my ear, but I couldn't understand him. He pushed me away and ignored me the rest of the night. Apparently it's a huge turn-off that I can't talk dirty in Klingon. FML

by Anonymous / 08/28/2014 at 12:34am / United States (Massachusetts) / Love

Today, I was woken up by my wife softly kissing me on the lips. Half asleep, I kissed her back, before quickly opening my eyes and realising it wasn't my wife; it was my dog. FML

by Anonymous / 08/27/2014 at 7:04pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Animals

Today, a schoolmate I've always secretly hated came over to my place to hang out. She found her way to my room and instantly noticed my dartboard, which I'd taped a picture of her face onto. FML

by Woops / 08/27/2014 at 6:57pm / United States (New Jersey) / Work

Today, after coming home from a two week vacation, my dog was pink, there were beer bottles and used condoms on my bed, and everything was a mess. I asked my sister, who'd been watching over the place, what had happened. She just said "Oops." and hung up. FML

by nayahbear24 / 08/27/2014 at 6:52pm / United States (New Jersey) / Holidays

Today, it's been a few months since my grandfather passed away. Now all of his porn subscriptions are getting forwarded to my address. FML

by dr.mantistobagon / 08/27/2014 at 6:03pm / United States (Vermont) / Intimacy