King_paradox

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Offline (the 10/05/2015 at 1:21am)

King_paradox

1Fucked!

King_paradoxKing_paradox
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 9 April 1996 (20 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 13220
  • Number of comments : 108
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 16 posted

About King_paradox : I'm a wizim

=E=

It's a wizim thing

King_paradox's page activity

Visits<b>Princess_Eevee9</b> - the 07/30/2015 at 12:55am<b>Capitan</b> - the 07/27/2015 at 5:03pm<b>shmoooopie</b> - the 07/02/2015 at 2:37am<b>littlekellilee</b> - the 07/01/2015 at 2:09pm<b>jerryj</b> - the 07/01/2015 at 12:01pm<b>kobrien1369</b> - the 07/01/2015 at 10:01am<b>LoverWordsFood</b> - the 07/01/2015 at 6:55am<b>_DILYNN_</b> - the 06/22/2015 at 2:17pm<b>Enslaved</b> - the 06/06/2015 at 6:17pm<b>Mukuro</b> - the 02/27/2015 at 8:16pm<b>EvanescenceLuv</b> - the 02/11/2015 at 3:37pm<b>groovy579</b> - the 02/08/2015 at 5:51am<b>mitchumcrew</b> - the 01/23/2015 at 8:52am<b>CrumpledQuill</b> - the 01/23/2015 at 1:23am<b>enddmd</b> - the 01/22/2015 at 11:02pm<b>Suchadiva</b> - the 01/22/2015 at 9:10pm<b>7382929</b> - the 12/30/2014 at 8:09pm<b>blueblu97</b> - the 12/30/2014 at 6:40pm

Fucked!<b>enddmd</b> - the 01/23/2015 at 5:03am

King_paradox's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

See all of King_paradox's badges

King_paradox's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend texted me saying, "I have some Durex and want your help" so I rushed to her house. She had meant to say "Dulux". I had to help her paint her bedroom. FML

Today, I was watching a movie with my boyfriend. We were getting into the mood so I tried to eat the popcorn kind of sexually, causing me to choke on the popcorn and throw up. FML

by Nat / 09/13/2014 at 2:29am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I ran one of the hardest cross-country courses in the country. I'm a pretty good runner, and I was feeling confident for the first mile. Then the chipotle from last night's dinner hit, and my legs weren't the only thing running. FML

by Anonymous / 09/12/2014 at 8:19pm / United States (New York) / Health

Today, while fishing my remote out from behind the couch, I found my fiancé's stash of old toenails. FML

by jjhach / 09/12/2014 at 6:27pm / Canada (New Brunswick) / Love

Today, I watched with mild confusion as a piece of paper tucked underneath my windshield wiper flapped around on the highway. What could it be? Surely not a parking ticket. Powerless, I watched it fly away. It must have been the insurance information for the person who swiped the back of my car. FML

by lil_breezy / 09/11/2014 at 3:01pm / United States (Colorado) / Transportation

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I had to decline the sale of alcohol to a man who reeked of booze and was practically falling asleep at my till. He tried to convince me that he wasn't drunk, he was just blind. Still refusing to sell him the beer, he started yelling at me, accusing me of "being racist against the 'blinds'". FML

by PerfectVision / 09/11/2014 at 2:49am / United States (Washington) / Work

Today, I saw my teacher using her phone in the middle of class, so to joke around with her, seeing as we're on pretty good terms, I said: "Using your phone in class? For shame." She looks me in the eyes and says, "Would it be ok if I told you I'm arranging my father's funeral?" FML

by lolwut / 09/11/2014 at 2:33am / United States (Oregon) / Work

Today, at work, a midget came in to buy beer. Not only was he almost as tall as me, he got offended when I had to card him and explain that the manager told me to card everyone, and that it wasn't because he was short. FML

by mybad / 09/10/2014 at 11:57pm / United States / Work

Today, I received a package. When my mom asked what I had bought, I had told her that I had ordered dumbbells and was going to start lifting. She laughed her way into the kitchen. FML

by skinnyguy23 / 09/10/2014 at 6:40pm / United States (New York) / Health

Today, I took my daughter out driving to practice for her road test. I told her to make a left into a parking lot. She missed the 30 foot wide entrance, but not the two foot wide tree. FML

by Crash / 09/10/2014 at 4:15pm / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, I started a new job. Three of my Kenyan coworkers keep getting together and reminding me that having more than one wife is okay in their country. I've gotten 3 marriage proposals from married men so far. FML

by notmarryingyou / 09/10/2014 at 1:16pm / United States (Washington) / Work

Today, a guy tried to pick me up with the line, "You're ugly. Just kidding. You're my date." FML

by thebigtwinkie / 09/10/2014 at 3:52am / Romania (Bucuresti) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I got more pleasure from itching the bed bug bites from sleeping over at my boyfriend's house than I got from actually sleeping with him. FML

by Itchy Missy / 09/09/2014 at 11:38pm / United States (Colorado) / Love

Today, a middle-aged customer tried to pay for a $2 ice cream bar with a credit card. It was declined, so he made me swipe it again. Declined. "Quit touching the metal strip," he scowled. I held the outer edge of it and swiped. Declined. He then bitched me out as his mother paid for him. FML

Today, I found out I sent several embarrassing videos while under the influence of the meds I was given while getting my wisdom teeth out. When I asked my mom why she didn't take my phone, she said she tried but I started whining and growling at her. FML

by sydspears3 / 09/09/2014 at 2:08pm / United States (Florida) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.