About King_paradox : I'm a wizim
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About King_paradox : I'm a wizim
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King_paradox's favorite FMLs
by heretoserve / 09/27/2014 at 12:22am / United States (Virginia) / Work
by Anonymous / 09/26/2014 at 11:30pm / New Zealand / Intimacy
Today, the day before my wife and I leave for our 1 year anniversary trip, I realized my passport expires in 2014, not 2015. Instead of a week's stay at an all-inclusive resort in the Dominican Republic, we'll be spending three days in Louisville. Three angry days in Louisville. FML
by dumass / 09/26/2014 at 10:23pm / United States (Ohio) / Love
by Anonymous / 09/26/2014 at 3:44pm / United States (Missouri) / Animals
Today, my girlfriend visited my restaurant with some guy I'd never seen before. She introduced him to me as her "new boyfriend". She was always a cold bitch, but I never saw this coming. I had to serve their food while choking back tears, and I couldn't work up the nerve to spit in it. FML
by Anonymous / 09/18/2014 at 3:32am / Australia (New South Wales) / Love
by Anonymous / 09/17/2014 at 5:57pm / United States (Michigan) / Kids
by Anonymous / 09/17/2014 at 7:46am / United States (South Carolina) / Love
by Anonymous / 09/16/2014 at 4:31pm / United Kingdom (Cornwall) / Miscellaneous
Today, my husband and I broke the news that I'm pregnant. Our 8-year-old son's reactions so far have been crying inconsolably, trying to punch me in the stomach, and swearing that he won't let me give him a brother or sister. FML
by Anonymous / 09/16/2014 at 1:44pm / Netherlands (Noord-Holland) / Kids
Today, my dad picked me up from school, something he'll be doing while my broken leg heals. He thought it'd be hilarious to arrive early and ask the staff where his "crippled" son was, loudly saying I'd broken my leg in a "masturbation-related accident". FML
by Anonymous / 09/16/2014 at 12:18pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Health
Today, I went deep-sea fishing with my friends. I told them my new phone case is waterproof, and I showed them by pouring a bit of water on it. My friend decided to throw it in the water for a better example. The case didn't float. FML
by HiImAlfredo / 09/14/2014 at 2:47pm / United States (New Hampshire) / Geek
Today, I took my girlfriend of a year out on a date, a nice fancy dinner and a movie. After dinner, I said that I was feeling sick and just wanted to go home. I didn't have the heart to tell her that dinner was so expensive that I didn't have money for the movie. FML
by jgboy / 09/14/2014 at 11:32am / United States (Illinois) / Love
by berryjones11024 / 09/14/2014 at 10:35am / United States (North Carolina) / Kids
by NoConfusion / 09/14/2014 at 8:53am / United States (California) / Love
by Jamestown of Vagina / 09/13/2014 at 10:36am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, someone stole my purse and phone while I was giving CPR to someone who had a heart attack on… 2Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 3Today, my dad refused to pick me up because he didn't want to get off the couch, so I had to walk…