Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

King_paradox

Online | Search for a member

King_paradox

1Liked!

King_paradoxKing_paradox
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 9 April 1996 (18 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 7034
  • Number of comments : 100
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 15 posted

About King_paradox : I'm a wizim

=E=

It's a wizim thing

King_paradox's page activity

Visits<b>Mukuro</b> - the 02/27/2015 at 8:16pm<b>EvanescenceLuv</b> - the 02/11/2015 at 3:37pm<b>groovy579</b> - the 02/08/2015 at 5:51am<b>mitchumcrew</b> - the 01/23/2015 at 8:52am<b>CrumpledQuill</b> - the 01/23/2015 at 1:23am<b>enddmd</b> - the 01/22/2015 at 11:02pm<b>Suchadiva</b> - the 01/22/2015 at 9:10pm<b>7382929</b> - the 12/30/2014 at 8:09pm<b>blueblu97</b> - the 12/30/2014 at 6:40pm<b>ilovefood17</b> - the 12/01/2014 at 2:05am<b>Clay_Pidgeon</b> - the 10/27/2014 at 11:44pm<b>12goldfish69</b> - the 10/10/2014 at 12:25am<b>zinoxity</b> - the 09/07/2014 at 12:17pm<b>LiliLatte</b> - the 09/03/2014 at 11:33am<b>sprinkle90</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 6:06am<b>thatchick1405</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 1:26am<b>toomanyidiots</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 1:13pm<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/28/2014 at 12:04am

Liked!<b>enddmd</b> - the 01/23/2015 at 5:03am

King_paradox's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

See all of King_paradox's badges

King_paradox's favorite FMLs

Today, I got called to the guidance office, only to be told my boyfriend broke up with me. He wasn't sure how to break the news to me, so he made my guidance counselor do it for him. FML

#21277708
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42771) - you deserved it (3191)

On 10/14/2014 at 2:57pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, an elderly woman was crossing the street and dropped her bag of groceries. I got out of my car to assist her, but she beat me repeatedly, yelling that I was "enforcing a stereotype". Sorry for trying to help. FML

#21277469
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33712) - you deserved it (2722)

On 10/14/2014 at 3:15am - misc - by I_AM_READING - United States (Alaska)

Today, my wife pressed a button in the elevator and quickly ran out, leaving me in there with my crying baby. When the elevator arrived at the floor, the doors opened on a wedding reception. The doors couldn't have taken any longer to close again FML

#21276854
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35180) - you deserved it (3226)

On 10/13/2014 at 11:42am - kids - by Anonymous - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I started at a new school. It's a pretty great school, but there's only one problem: Everybody thinks I'm a teacher. I'm only a freshman. FML

#21273859
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33592) - you deserved it (2829)

On 10/08/2014 at 10:13pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my son was smart enough to hack the school's computers to change his midterm, but isn't smart enough to actually keep his grades up. FML

#21273806
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34559) - you deserved it (3562)

On 10/08/2014 at 9:12pm - kids - by thenegatives - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I found out via a voicemail from my boss that my hours are being cut. He said, "They said I can't fire you, so you'll only be getting 20 hours a week. Starting today." Who'd they give my other 20 hours to? The one person that calls off sick almost daily and is never on time. FML

#21273773
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31822) - you deserved it (2545)

On 10/08/2014 at 8:30pm - work - by xRyu (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my taxi driver kept falling asleep and swerving off the road, so I asked him if he was okay. He stopped and burst out sobbing about the long hours he had to do after his divorce and his wife taking all he had. Long story short, I ended up driving him home and getting a taxi from his place. FML

#21273346
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38730) - you deserved it (3090)

On 10/08/2014 at 5:01am - misc - by rockytrolley - Cyprus

Today, I stood up too quickly and got dizzy, so I sat on the edge of the bed to regain my balance. I started dozing off to sleep again, got confused, and peed down the side of my bed thinking I was on the toilet. FML

#21272641
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35501) - you deserved it (9602)

On 10/07/2014 at 7:33am - misc - by Waterfalls (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while on vacation, my parents called to inform me that my best friend had died in a car accident. Why? To trick me into tearfully confessing my love for him. It worked. FML

#21272324
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49008) - you deserved it (4330)

On 10/06/2014 at 9:14pm - love - by whywouldyoudothat - United States (Arizona)

Today, I told my boyfriend about how I was a test tube baby. He looked at me with confusion before asking, "But if scientists made you, surely you'd be really attractive and talented and stuff?" FML

#21272259
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38491) - you deserved it (3774)

On 10/06/2014 at 7:47pm - misc - by thanks babe - United Kingdom (Shropshire)

Today, I woke up to a mouse sitting on my pillow and chewing on my hair. FML

#21271220
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35677) - you deserved it (3037)

On 10/05/2014 at 1:04pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Kentucky)

Today, at age 31, I was about to finally lose my virginity. As we tumbled onto the bed, an excruciating pain shot through my stomach. It turned out to be a hernia, and no, I didn't get laid in the end. FML

#21271185
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38774) - you deserved it (3917)

On 10/05/2014 at 11:55am - intimacy - by fucksake (man) - Malaysia (Selangor)

Today, I overheard my daughter talking to her boyfriend over the phone about having sex. She said, "You have to piss on me to get me pregnant, that's what I heard anyway." She's 16. FML

#21270711
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45448) - you deserved it (10243)

On 10/04/2014 at 3:52pm - intimacy - by SadMother - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my allergies flared up and I started sneezing. I guess my girlfriend was having a bad day, because she lost her shit and started telling me how annoying I am and how I can never do anything right. I'm not sure if we're still a couple, because she stormed out and won't answer my calls. FML

#21270617
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36211) - you deserved it (3001)

On 10/04/2014 at 11:17am - health - by Anonymous (man) - Denmark

Today, I finally got around to cleaning out my mother's things after her passing. In the process I found a fancy box. What did it contain? A collection of crack pipes. FML

#21270609
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36298) - you deserved it (2588)

On 10/04/2014 at 10:58am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)



Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML
  • Madonna must be the only person breathing a sigh of relief right now thanks to all the idiots arguing about the colour of a dress. Thanks to a badly-lit photograph, everyone seems to have forgotten that she super…

Friday 27 February 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: