About King_paradox : I'm a wizim
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About King_paradox : I'm a wizim
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King_paradox's favorite FMLs
by extremereviews / 08/16/2015 at 6:14pm / United States (Texas) / Health
by pudh / 08/05/2015 at 7:08am / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy
Today, I took a dump at work, when I realized there was no toilet paper left. There was another guy in the room, so I asked him for some. He decided he'd rather dump all the rolls of paper into the other toilets, before wishing me luck and walking out while laughing his ass off. FML
by FUCKFACECUNT / 08/02/2015 at 9:32am / United Arab Emirates (Abu Dhabi) / Work
Today, I was relaxing in bed with an arm kind of behind my head, when I noticed a huge spider resting on my armpit. My sister said my screaming sounded like a "witch being burned to death" for all of 5 seconds before I realized the "spider" was just my armpit hair. FML
by fack / 07/29/2015 at 10:41am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I wore a sleeveless shirt for the first time in years, when I glimpsed something on my shoulder that looked like a spider. I let out a scream that sounded like a donkey having a stroke and flailed my arms. Then I realized it was my tattoo, and that I was freaking out everyone on the bus. FML
by HURP / 06/17/2015 at 11:41am / Canada (Alberta) / Transportation
Today, my wife came back from her camping trip with her friends. I decided to help her out by unpacking her stuff while she used the bathroom. It's funny; I never knew that a dildo, a ball gag and an open pack of condoms were considered camping gear. FML
by Anonymous / 06/17/2015 at 10:12am / United States (North Carolina) / Health
by Anonymous / 06/06/2015 at 12:20am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
by Jobless in Seattle / 05/04/2015 at 10:08pm / United States (Texas) / Work
Today, less than a month from our wedding, my fiancé told me that he doesn't trust me and will be cancelling our wedding and new apartment lease if I don't give him all the names, numbers and addresses of my exes. All because I received a text from a wrong number that said, "Hey baby." FML
by Groomzilla? / 04/28/2015 at 1:32am / Canada (Ontario) / Love
Today, while studying for an exam, the neighbor's chihuahua started barking outside. After a few seconds, my mom yelled out for me to stop laughing. She honestly thought the barking was my laughter. FML
by woof? / 04/19/2015 at 1:09pm / United States (California) / Animals
by Anonymous / 04/15/2015 at 10:41pm / Australia / Animals
by Anonymous / 03/01/2015 at 2:03pm / United States (Ohio) / Kids
by HannaMD / 01/26/2015 at 10:21am / Canada / Animals
by Anonymous / 01/24/2015 at 4:40pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Love
Today, I'm a ticket inspector on a train. A suspiciously-acting guy of about 30 gets on board with two huge bags. Worried, I keep an eye on him. I wasn't disappointed when he got 5 furry toys out of his bags and started to have a conversation with them. FML
by BilletsDoudous / 01/15/2015 at 1:51am / France / Work
- 1Today, I took a test. I got up to turn it in, and accidentally bumped into another student. We both… 2Today, my energetic 10-month-old decided to stay up four hours past bedtime. After I FINALLY got… 3Today, I tried to fire the worst worker I've ever had over the phone because he never shows up for…