About KingCeltic77 : The Blackhawks are gonna win the Stanley Cup!
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KingCeltic77's favorite FMLs
Today, I saw my neighbor's delinquent kid shooting squirrels with a BB gun. Shocked and furious at his cruel behavior, I told him to stop, with the threat of telling his parents. He responded by shooting me in the nuts and running away in a fit of laughter. FML
by bettercallpeta / 02/15/2013 at 12:42am / United States / Animals
Today, a girl came up to me on the street and said, "You have like no swag, bro." Feeling clever, I said, "At least I have a high school education." She then took out her work ID, showing me that she was a surgeon, flipped me off, then walked away saying, "This is totally going on Facebook." FML
by Anonymous / 02/11/2013 at 10:26am / United States (Massachusetts) / Work
Today, I got married on Skyrim. To an elf. While in real life, my love life is floundering like a half-dead carp in the surf on a hot day. So much so in fact that I actually draw a measure of comfort from being married to an elf. FML
by mr_loveless / 02/11/2013 at 2:19am / United States / Love
Today, my little sister chased me around the house with a mallet, giggling like a maniac. I ended up having to pin her to the ground, rip the mallet out of her hand and lock her in the bathroom. This isn't the first time. My mom still insists it's perfectly normal. FML
by littlemiss / 02/10/2013 at 11:17am / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
by Anonymous / 02/09/2013 at 3:03pm / United States (California) / Kids
by Anonymous / 02/09/2013 at 12:13am / United States / Love
by Anonymous / 02/08/2013 at 8:53pm / Australia (Victoria) / Health
by mydadsgonnakillme / 02/08/2013 at 2:13am / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, after three weeks of holding out, my stingy boss finally called animal control about the birds in the air vent above the register. While I was working, they rummaged through the vents, causing live maggots to fall down right in front of me. FML
by shaviTuT / 02/07/2013 at 2:44pm / Malaysia (Johor) / Animals
Today, my son threw the biggest fit in history about going to the dentist. He broke a whole stack of plates, overflowed the bathtub, let the dog loose, and kicked his father when he tried to calm him down. My son is 17. FML
by Anonymous / 02/06/2013 at 6:12am / United States / Kids
Today, after a shower, my dad jokingly asked if I was jacking off in the shower because I was taking a long time. Before I could respond, my mom chimed in with, "No, he does it before he showers, haven't you noticed how he locks himself in his room?" She was right on the money. FML
by Lockedinroom / 02/05/2013 at 11:18am / United States / Intimacy
Today, I walked in on my mom drenched in tears, barely able to speak. I ran to get her some tissues and a nice cup of tea to calm her down. After a few minutes of sitting in silence, I asked her if she wanted to talk about what happened. She watched an episode of Gossip Girl. FML
by wetqueefa / 02/03/2013 at 4:58am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by rani / 02/02/2013 at 5:34pm / Norway (Oslo) / Love
by wilks311 / 02/02/2013 at 9:12am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
by heallven / 01/31/2013 at 7:26am / Miscellaneous
- Today, my bike brakes failed as I was going downhill. I ended up running a light and hit a car at… Today, my crush got together with a dude on my 18th birthday party after I tried my best to win her… Today while walking to the shop under the blistering African sun, I stepped on something that stuck…