KimJongIllest

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KimJongIllest

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 16 October 1995 (20 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 701
  • Number of comments : 8
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About KimJongIllest : Do I really look like a guy with a plan? You know what I am? I’m a dog chasing cars. I wouldn’t know what to do with one if I caught it. You know, I just… do things

KimJongIllest's page activity

Visits<b>SquidgyOmAm</b> - the 10/29/2014 at 5:07pm<b>Feklfekl2222</b> - the 03/11/2014 at 1:36pm<b>chubbybunny963</b> - the 02/12/2014 at 9:35am<b>Allornone</b> - the 01/11/2014 at 10:27pm<b>angelitared</b> - the 01/02/2014 at 9:33pm<b>KeannaLove</b> - the 12/28/2013 at 11:54am<b>Dramori</b> - the 12/22/2013 at 6:49pm<b>SundayNightSix</b> - the 12/22/2013 at 10:04am<b>immenselyalive</b> - the 12/20/2013 at 5:09pm<b>onlychildFTW</b> - the 12/18/2013 at 7:25am<b>DrHail</b> - the 12/10/2013 at 3:10pm<b>carl_CIOwhat</b> - the 12/09/2013 at 6:58pm<b>ImAFaker</b> - the 12/02/2013 at 3:18pm<b>burro012</b> - the 11/30/2013 at 12:26am<b>Rainhawk94</b> - the 11/29/2013 at 8:28am<b>10nachoman10</b> - the 11/25/2013 at 9:43pm<b>zahra_786</b> - the 11/21/2013 at 1:59pm<b>DevinEleven</b> - the 11/16/2013 at 10:58am

KimJongIllest's FML badges

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

See all of KimJongIllest's badges

KimJongIllest's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend told me I'm beautiful. Before I could thank him, he continued, "Too bad it takes a shit-load of makeup." FML

by Anonymous / 12/09/2013 at 5:41pm / United States (Hawaii) / Love

Today, as a pickup line, a guy said to me, "Yo, can I kiss your vag' under the mistletoe?" FML

by mistletoe / 12/08/2013 at 9:21pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, I was accused of shoplifting because my jacket looked "too chunky". I wasn't stealing, I'm just fat. FML

by goingtothegym / 12/08/2013 at 8:16pm / United States (California) / Health

Today, my grandkids went around my house claiming items to inherit. FML

by blah! / 12/08/2013 at 8:19am / United States (Connecticut) / Kids

Today, I was playing monopoly with my boyfriend and a few friends. After I bankrupted my boyfriend, he turned to me and said, "I fucked your best friend last night, so who really won?" I turned to the best friend in question, she looked at the board and said, "I'd like to buy a house please." FML

by I hate that game / 11/23/2013 at 11:11am / United Kingdom (Wigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I put a picture of my cat on Facebook. A stranger sent me a message saying how "attractive" she was and that her eyes are "very seductive". So, basically, someone is trying to hit on my cat. FML

by meow / 10/30/2013 at 3:03am / United States / Animals

Today, I overcame my stage fright and got up in front of a café audience with my acoustic guitar to sing a few of my songs. Some asshat kept yelling stuff like "NEEDS MORE COWBELL!" and "FREEBIRD!", which made me lose my nerve and flee. FML

by NickDrakeFan / 10/28/2013 at 9:57pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my ex boyfriend got into a physical fight with the guy I've been casually seeing for 9 months. Afterwards, they had a beer, a long chat, and decided this was my fault and I wasn't worth the drama. FML

by what did I do? / 10/25/2013 at 7:54am / Australia (New South Wales) / Love

Today, I decided to try LSD with a few friends in a safe environment. As an artist, I had planned to spend my trip doing psychedelic paintings and had all my supplies set up. Apparently I spent most of my time in fetal position muttering about the "evil easel" and never even touched my canvas. FML

by oldshitnewshit / 10/22/2013 at 5:11pm / United States / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my dog got out of the house. I was running after him and remembered the old "pretend you're hurt" trick. I got on the ground, and cried out as if I was hurt. My dog just kept running. FML

by WalnutGaming / 10/22/2013 at 3:20pm / United States (Maryland) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I woke up with a raging hangover. I soon checked my phone, only to find that I'd drunkenly sent nude pictures to several friends' numbers, as well as to my own. I'd then replied to my own message, saying that I'm not gay and telling myself to fuck off. FML

by Anonymous / 10/18/2013 at 1:30pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my five-year-old daughters realized that if one of them rang the doorbell, it would keep me distracted long enough for the other one to steal cookies from the kitchen. FML

by TiredMum / 10/16/2013 at 9:33am / United States (Washington) / Kids

Today, in revenge for me pulling the old salt-in-the-soda prank on him, my dad showed up at my college dressed in a tight blouse and miniskirt, demanding that I come home early with him. I think I'm going to be lynched next time I go to class. FML

by HSampsON / 10/13/2013 at 5:20pm / Niger (Niamey) / Miscellaneous

Today, I pretended to be deaf to a door to door salesman. He knew sign language. FML

by Anonymous / 10/05/2013 at 2:56am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, I took my girlfriend out to eat at a diner where my friend works. My friend was our waiter but too busy to talk much. He texted me after we'd left to tell me that my girlfriend had slipped him her number. FML

by Anonymous / 09/24/2013 at 3:15am / United States (Texas) / Love