KillSwitch96

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Offline (the 02/08/2015 at 4:26am)

KillSwitch96

6Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 19 August 1996 (20 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 10678
  • Number of comments : 73
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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KillSwitch96's page activity

Visits<b>TheGamingGamer</b> - the 08/01/2016 at 9:36pm<b>Infamous_Pickle</b> - the 07/18/2016 at 4:50pm<b>alexjoseph5575</b> - the 06/01/2016 at 10:39am<b>worldclassrager</b> - the 04/02/2016 at 4:58am<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 02/29/2016 at 3:52pm<b>Joshua9871</b> - the 01/26/2016 at 1:02pm<b>Ava_Darkflame</b> - the 11/29/2015 at 12:28am<b>sarika</b> - the 09/10/2015 at 1:59pm<b>im_a_squid</b> - the 08/06/2015 at 2:05am<b>MikeRulz</b> - the 06/14/2015 at 1:36pm<b>NoticeMeSenpai</b> - the 06/14/2015 at 3:59am<b>foeva_kawaii</b> - the 06/10/2015 at 9:38pm<b>kaiboi702</b> - the 05/19/2015 at 5:47am<b>pureportedpear</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 1:20pm<b>haylburg</b> - the 03/19/2015 at 1:28pm<b>Zach_attack_</b> - the 02/25/2015 at 9:09am<b>zBerryz</b> - the 01/21/2015 at 11:25pm<b>907Drifter</b> - the 01/20/2015 at 2:20pm

Fucked!<b>Infamous_Pickle</b> - the 07/18/2016 at 10:50pm<b>sarika</b> - the 09/10/2015 at 7:59pm<b>worldclassrager</b> - the 07/04/2015 at 9:45am<b>foeva_kawaii</b> - the 06/10/2015 at 7:18am<b>kaiboi702</b> - the 05/19/2015 at 11:47am<b>RockUntilYouDie</b> - the 05/22/2014 at 5:44pm

KillSwitch96's FML badges

I’m your new creative director

You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

See all of KillSwitch96's badges

KillSwitch96's favorite FMLs

Today, we had a guy come into the hospital with a carrot stuck deep in his anus. I've heard all kinds of ridiculous cover stories, but his took the cake; he claimed the phone rang while he was showering and he slipped onto a box of vegetables. Guess who had to extract the carrot. FML

by Anonymous / 06/18/2014 at 3:06pm / United States (Florida) / Work

Today, I was at Sea World and was about to take a picture of the big walrus. I noticed my phone was still set to use the front camera, and I muttered "Oops, selfie mode." A guy next to me turned, looked at me, and said "Not like there's a difference for you." FML

by furball / 06/15/2014 at 4:01pm / Animals

Today, my dad called me into the bathroom, saying "Get a load of this shit, son" and forcing me to look at the biggest, foulest-smelling turd I have ever seen in my life in the toilet. It's been three hours and I still feel physically ill. FML

by green and not with envy / 06/13/2014 at 4:17pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health

Today, I had dinner for the first time with my boyfriend's parents. It was awkward enough without his mom asking, "So, what do you do for fun, besides my son?" FML

by Anonymous / 06/13/2014 at 5:27am / United States (California) / Love

Today, thanks to an efficient diet, I reached my target weight. Unfortunately, my chest has disappeared. My boyfriend suggested we have a funeral for my bras. FML

by BrefODM / 06/12/2014 at 11:15pm / United Kingdom / Health

Today, my roommate's pets conspired against me. "The dog ate my homework" has apparently become too clichéd for them. The new excuses are, "My cat chewed through my laptop power cable" and "the gecko ate my pen drive." FML

by Anonymous / 06/11/2014 at 8:00pm / Canada (Manitoba) / Animals

Today, I was babysitting a little girl. I let her play with a box of old Star Wars toys to keep her occupied while I quickly went to use the bathroom, and when I returned she was making the 15 or so figures have a massive orgy, sex sounds included. FML

by Anonymous / 06/11/2014 at 6:46pm / United States (Kentucky) / Kids

Today, my psycho neighbor finished building a cannon. An honest-to-god, on-wheels, could-be-on-a-pirate-ship cannon. And now he's testing it in the forest by my house. I'm pretty scared for my life, to be honest. FML

by ldrik1 / 06/11/2014 at 4:36pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, some pig slapped my ass as he passed me in the street, then looked back at me with a dirty grin. His grin turned to horror when he realized that I'm actually a guy, then to anger as he bitched me out for "tricking" him by "looking like a chick". FML

by 404: sense not found / 06/08/2014 at 2:32pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to the restroom to pee. A loud fart exploded out of my ass and echoed in the toilet bowl. I could practically feel my face on fire when I saw the horrified look on a little girl's face as I walked out. FML

by Anonymous / 06/07/2014 at 10:34pm / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous

Today, I used a public toilet. After I did my business in the stall and walked out, I was confronted by the sight of a man standing on tip-toes, holding his penis up to the automatic hand-dryer. Doubt I'll get that image out of my head any time soon. FML

by yepintheladiesroom / 06/07/2014 at 5:37pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. It was going well until I accidentally passed gas. To add to the embarrassment, he rated it. I only got a 4 out of 10. FML

by embarrassed girl / 06/07/2014 at 1:40am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got to explain to someone that "enjoying the warm, rich aromas of fecal matter" is not a good subject to use as an ice breaker for making friends. FML

by Aether / 06/03/2014 at 6:51pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I sent my boyfriend a picture of my tits. He ignored it and instead sent a picture of his dog "looking blazed". FML

by Anonymous / 06/03/2014 at 5:46am / United Kingdom (Lancashire) / Intimacy

Today, I told someone about my degree in technical theatre with a concentration in lighting design. They looked at me and said, "You're paid $52,000 a year to turn lights on and off?" And technically, that's correct. FML

by ugh / 06/01/2014 at 6:15pm / United States (New Hampshire) / Work