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Kickinchicken213's favorite FMLs
Today, my family had dinner with my future in-laws for the first time. After a bottle of wine to herself, my mother loudly insisted that I'm out of her will. Apparently, I "molest towels" and leave them to "fester for days" in my "den of depravity". I'm sure they'll give me their daughter now. FML
by The Towel Molester / 01/26/2012 at 9:49am / Australia (New South Wales) / Love
Today, while in line at a gas station, I felt something on my shoulder. I turned around only to see a woman behind me pulling the sunburnt skin off my shoulder. When I told her to stop, she yelled, hit me with her purse and ran off crying. FML
by therundown / 07/20/2011 at 9:38am / United States (Ohio) / Health
by growlr / 07/20/2011 at 5:17am / Australia (New South Wales) / Intimacy
by Harry / 07/20/2011 at 3:40am / United States / Kids
Today, I saved a bird from being run over as it lay in the middle of the road. Thinking it had a broken wing or something, I started carrying it home, intending to take it to the vet later. It crapped in my hand and flew away. FML
by craphanded / 07/19/2011 at 1:45pm / United Kingdom (Wiltshire) / Animals
by freakfreak12345 / 07/19/2011 at 12:41pm / United States (Maine) / Animals
Today, a group of girl-scouts came to my door selling chocolate bars. I bought 2 bars and smiled as they left, thinking I'd done a good deed. When the door closed, I heard one of the girls say, "Told you, the fat bitches always wanna buy from us." FML
by hatemylife / 07/19/2011 at 2:24am / United States (New York) / Kids
by Anonymous / 07/18/2011 at 4:21pm / Netherlands (Utrecht) / Intimacy
by butimarealbear / 07/13/2011 at 9:11am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 07/06/2011 at 12:59pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, my girlfriend who was planning on waiting until marriage for sex decided to have sex with me. It's been 4 hours and she hasn't stopped crying, praying and calling me the devil's temptation. FML
by devilboy / 07/06/2011 at 7:26am / Australia (New South Wales) / Intimacy
by Username / 07/05/2011 at 10:54pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by Noff / 07/05/2011 at 5:42am / Australia (Queensland) / Work
by Bekah / 07/04/2011 at 9:24am / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous
by crudofalife / 07/04/2011 at 5:42am / United States (Illinois) / Work