Search for a member

Offline (the 06/24/2016 at 9:29am)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 14 August 1994 (22 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 952
  • Number of comments : 4
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

This member hasn't filled in their description.

Kels789's page activity

Visits<b>bobthesquib</b> - yesterday at 6:40am<b>valerielera</b> - the 08/14/2016 at 2:08am<b>kalteVollmilch</b> - the 07/14/2016 at 1:36pm<b>stuckintime</b> - the 06/29/2016 at 6:25am<b>Inked_Irishman07</b> - the 06/22/2016 at 8:03am<b>boultzboi</b> - the 04/12/2016 at 11:19pm<b>welldammit1</b> - the 08/25/2015 at 10:51pm<b>melisssa87</b> - the 05/12/2015 at 8:45am<b>countryb_cth</b> - the 02/18/2015 at 3:01pm<b>EclipseCandy6</b> - the 02/16/2015 at 3:48am<b>snarkytruth</b> - the 02/14/2015 at 6:05am<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 02/13/2015 at 11:49pm<b>jagma</b> - the 02/07/2015 at 11:30pm<b>Corey122726</b> - the 02/07/2015 at 6:26am<b>TheCitizens96</b> - the 02/07/2015 at 12:39am<b>SilverZephyr</b> - the 02/06/2015 at 10:54pm<b>Llama_Face89</b> - the 02/06/2015 at 10:36pm<b>tbro47</b> - the 02/06/2015 at 8:51pm

Kels789's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of Kels789's badges

Kels789's favorite FMLs

Today, at a big family dinner, my dad said, "Pfff, gays don't have it hard at all. The things a guy has to do for sex with a girl? Crazy. All a gay guy has to do for sex is become an altar boy!" My husband's side of the family is very religious, and all hell quickly broke loose. FML

by killme / 03/07/2015 at 1:42pm / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up with my penis taped inside a milk bottle. Yes, I'm as baffled as you are. FML

by Milked Richard / 02/05/2015 at 11:14pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, I sat my son down for the sex talk. By the time it was over, he'd corrected me on several factual errors and told me what felching is. Now I remember why I never wanted kids. FML

by Anonymous / 01/19/2015 at 9:34am / United States (Maine) / Kids

Today, my daughter's teacher called me, very concerned, because my child told the whole class she's not virgin anymore. The word is "vegan", honey. FML

by healthfreak / 09/06/2014 at 9:57pm / United States (Georgia) / Kids

Today, this weird kid in class asked me on a date. He claims to be a werewolf. His excuse for not being able to turn into one? A "rare disease." His excuse for everyone rejecting him? "Friend-zoning bitches." I was the last resort even for a jackoff "nice guy" werewolf. FML

by WHAT A NICE GUY YOU ARE, SIR SHITSPAWN!!!1! / 08/09/2013 at 6:13pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that my mom gives my brother tips on how to hurt my feelings the most. FML

by LovedByFamily / 10/08/2012 at 11:08am / Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen) / Miscellaneous

Today, as I was waiting for my girlfriend in the street, I saw a woman who looked a lot like her. I ran towards her, my arms in the air ready to give her a hug, only to realise it wasn't her. I then had to pass the woman, my arms in the air, still running. FML

by minibuch1505 / 09/21/2012 at 7:31am / Miscellaneous

Today, my husband had a temper tantrum because I wouldn't get him a chocolate bar at the store register. FML

by Anonymous / 08/20/2012 at 8:12am / United States (Massachusetts) / Love

Today, I purposely wore a red shirt to Target just so people would talk to me. FML

by reddd / 05/10/2012 at 2:44am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, it was snowing, and the campus looked just lovely. I sat on a nearby window ledge to enjoy the view. I was joined by a girl who looked fascinated as well, so I decided to make small talk. She nodded, smiled wistfully, and said, "There's herpes in the air today." FML

by intheairtonight / 04/25/2012 at 2:22am / United States (Minnesota) / Intimacy

Today, I went down on my girlfriend for the first time. Let's just say pubes and toilet paper residue were the least of my problems. FML

by mrricecakes / 03/23/2012 at 1:55am / United States (Arizona) / Intimacy

Today, I was using a restroom when I heard someone sneeze. I said, "Bless you." It happened again about three times, so I repeated myself each time. I then noticed it was an automatic air freshener. FML

by coleslaw / 02/03/2012 at 12:25am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to eat the orange I'd brought to work, but couldn't find it. After minutes searching, I found it. Nailed to the ceiling. FML

by Username / 12/15/2011 at 1:57am / United States (California) / Work

Today, my five year old daughter came up to me and told me she wanted to be a nun. When I asked why, she replied, "So I won't get my heart broken by a boy." FML

by julia / 06/11/2011 at 7:12am / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids

Today, I joked with my dad, saying I'd gotten my boyfriend pregnant. In response, he slapped me, threw my phone across the room, smashed my laptop, and then took a moment for what I'd said to sink in. FML

by rowie1311 / 03/27/2011 at 2:09pm / United Kingdom (Northamptonshire) / Miscellaneous