About Kellyexpo : Weird shit happens to me all the time
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Kellyexpo's favorite FMLs
Today, I heard my sister masturbating in her room. I took the dog around the block to get out of the house, and I came back to see her leaving her room. She had my electric toothbrush in her hand. FML
by misc / 02/10/2009 at 6:06pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy
Today, I got a few notes from this girl I like at school for 2 years telling me she feels the same way. My dad knocks on the door and I panic and say "Hold on!". I shoved them under my pillow then told him to come in. He said "Son, it's perfectly normal to masturbate." FML
by Misunderstood / 02/08/2009 at 12:35am / United Kingdom (Leicester) / Love
Today, I daringly tried that fish-bath thing, where all these fish come and eat all of your skin's dead cells. I got into it, and after 15 minutes of being a human buffet, at least 20 of the fish died. FML
by anx133 / 01/15/2009 at 8:25pm / China (Shanghai) / Health
Today, my boyfriend and I were looking for our bubblegum flavored "numbing" lotion to have some morning fun. We couldnt find it anywhere. After about 10 minutes, my little nephew comes from my room crying and drool coming out of his mouth. He smelt like bubblegum, his mouth and tongue were all numb. FML
by LiLGeek / 01/12/2009 at 10:37am / United States (California) / Intimacy
- 1Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 2Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After… 3Today, I received a phone call, angry at me for not calling my dad on Father's Day. When I told her…
- Today, while changing my 10 week old baby's nappy and everything was going fine as usual. Just as I… Today, my parents grounded me from anything remotely fun. How come? Because I got a 100% on my math… Today, I got home from a double shift to find my husband in bed with my sister. Also, I found out I…