Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?


Offline (yesterday at 10:03pm) | Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 25 November 1997 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4716
  • Number of comments : 53
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About Kataclysm97 : I am awfully random so often I don't make much potatoes. If that's a problem for anyone, I recommend clicking away right meow. Seriously guys, I don't know how much unimoose-landshark awesomeness you can handle. Honestly though, I'm nice to people who are nice to me unless that someone is being a PEDOBEAR! I know you people are out there. STAHP IT! Shoot me a message IF YOU DARE! >:3

Kataclysm97's page activity

Visits<b>LPac5295</b> - 8 hours ago<b>Eyeslick</b> - 14 hours ago<b>lightning20</b> - yesterday at 2:12pm<b>Bullock117</b> - yesterday at 8:08pm<b>Kuibe</b> - the 02/04/2016 at 12:58pm<b>mhb210</b> - the 02/03/2016 at 10:52pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 02/03/2016 at 10:49pm<b>trashyant</b> - the 02/03/2016 at 8:43pm<b>marshm610</b> - the 02/01/2016 at 7:23pm<b>Ebola</b> - the 01/31/2016 at 9:06am<b>HaKai13</b> - the 01/31/2016 at 3:17am<b>Xx_Slayer_xX</b> - the 01/29/2016 at 5:21pm<b>Mons</b> - the 01/29/2016 at 9:31am<b>Brian2911</b> - the 01/28/2016 at 9:23am<b>dakotadavisbruh</b> - the 01/27/2016 at 5:36pm<b>jadeluv</b> - the 01/26/2016 at 1:56pm<b>brainymes</b> - the 01/24/2016 at 12:54am<b>capper44</b> - the 01/22/2016 at 5:22am

Fucked!<b>HaKai13</b> - the 01/31/2016 at 9:18am<b>JusstJef</b> - the 01/15/2016 at 12:56pm<b>tin_cup</b> - the 01/12/2016 at 2:23am<b>Jake42100</b> - the 01/11/2016 at 12:04pm<b>Kuibe</b> - the 01/08/2016 at 5:20am<b>jgilmanx13</b> - the 01/04/2016 at 4:01am<b>beeferjay</b> - the 12/24/2015 at 9:20pm<b>gjcamp22</b> - the 12/23/2015 at 10:13pm<b>Nickwoj</b> - the 12/22/2015 at 12:04pm<b>JMCJester69</b> - the 12/08/2015 at 2:36pm<b>ARetardedSeal</b> - the 12/06/2015 at 4:05am<b>foxbryan13</b> - the 11/25/2015 at 5:13pm<b>Joshwarrior</b> - the 11/23/2015 at 7:21am<b>Neut</b> - the 11/22/2015 at 3:29pm<b>hardesty2904</b> - the 11/22/2015 at 12:34am<b>tranced_</b> - the 11/17/2015 at 1:19am<b>Michelle1121</b> - the 11/14/2015 at 12:04pm<b>orios105</b> - the 11/13/2015 at 10:50am

Kataclysm97's FML badges


You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

One more and it's business time

You've received 68 likes on your profile. Kinky.

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

See all of Kataclysm97's badges

Kataclysm97's favorite FMLs

Today, after finding out that my professor likes to talk trash about, and constantly belittle, Muslims in every American History class he teaches, I submitted an essay about Muslim contributions to humanity. He held me back after class and asked why I gave him such filth. I'm a Muslim. FML


I agree, your life sucks (22194) - you deserved it (3538)

On 02/03/2016 at 1:14pm - work - by Upset (man) - United States (California)

Today, my fiancée was asleep, so I decided to spoon her from behind and cup her boobs to wake her up nicely. She responded by yelling, "THE TOAST!" and elbowing me in the face whilst still asleep. FML

Today, I told a customer the bread he wanted has been discontinued. He replied with, "Are you serious? What is your name? I'm going up front to complain about you." I still don't understand how that's specifically my fault. FML


I agree, your life sucks (20365) - you deserved it (1218)

On 01/10/2016 at 6:53pm - work - by fritzile - United States (Arizona)

Today, while on a flight, I was walking back to my seat after going to the bathroom, when someone stuck their leg out, causing me to trip and fall flat on my face. All the guy could say was, "There's a thing called glasses. Fucking use them!" FML

Today, I was standing in line at the checkout, and my children were arguing with each other. The guy in front of me sighed loudly and told me over his shoulder: "There're these things called condoms, you know." FML


I agree, your life sucks (20440) - you deserved it (6609)

On 12/31/2015 at 5:33pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my friends and I were going to Applebee's. A girl we don't like invited herself along. She waited for my friend outside of the bathroom, forced her to drive her, and said, "It's okay someone will pay for me." She then ate off of everyone's plate and left before the bill came. FML


I agree, your life sucks (21346) - you deserved it (3512)

On 12/21/2015 at 9:42pm - misc - by RUFckingSrs (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my mother found out I published a book. She demanded that I pay her all my royalties as repayment for her raising me. FML


I agree, your life sucks (21436) - you deserved it (1347)

On 12/02/2015 at 5:18pm - money - by Notfamous (woman) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, my housemate walked out of the bathroom with my toothbrush in his mouth and asked, "You're not one of those people who cares if someone uses their toothbrush, are you?" FML


I agree, your life sucks (23035) - you deserved it (1483)

On 11/26/2015 at 10:20am - misc - by WellGroomed (man) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, a cute girl I know in passing approached me very nervously and blushing like mad. She gave me a note with a number on it, said to call her, then ran away. When I called the number later, it was one of those rejection hotlines. What the hell? FML


I agree, your life sucks (26456) - you deserved it (1743)

On 11/25/2015 at 7:32am - misc - by anthony (man) - Luxembourg

Today, my scumfuck brother and his friends spent my baby sister's funeral snickering and telling dead baby jokes to one another. FML


I agree, your life sucks (40973) - you deserved it (1813)

On 09/18/2015 at 11:35pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. It lasted about 20 seconds, and he cried during it. I later heard him telling his friends he'd given me a "damn good pounding" and "made her cum 3 times". I wish. FML


I agree, your life sucks (31455) - you deserved it (2770)

On 09/18/2015 at 10:56pm - intimacy - by Lady Vulva of the Redwater (woman) -

Today, the girl I've gone on two dates with showed up at my house with several boxes of her stuff, expecting to move in. FML


I agree, your life sucks (30934) - you deserved it (2467)

On 09/06/2015 at 1:38am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my car went missing. My sister constantly asks to borrow it, so I called her and asked if she had it. She swore blind that she didn't, so I called the cops and reported it stolen. They soon caught her driving the stolen vehicle. She blames me and is now telling everyone I set her up to be arrested. FML


I agree, your life sucks (29202) - you deserved it (1696)

On 08/14/2015 at 6:57am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Ukraine (Donets'ka Oblast')

Today, at work, I saw a lady leave her infant in a display crib so she could go shopping. When I stopped her and told her she couldn't do that, she said, "Well, I do it all the time". FML


I agree, your life sucks (27531) - you deserved it (1886)

On 07/31/2015 at 11:30pm - kids - by Oihana - United States (North Carolina)

Today, another idiot was admitted to my hospital with a foreign object up his ass. Yet again, the excuse went along the lines of "I tripped and fell on it." Please, someone tell me how you can accidentally trip anus-first onto the end of a cucumber, which just so happens to have a condom on it. FML


I agree, your life sucks (32823) - you deserved it (2371)

On 06/26/2015 at 9:21pm - work - by Idiot says "HIPAA violation" (man) - United States (Virginia)

Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: