About Kandyland : My life is completely f*ed.
Kandyland's FML badges
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Keen reader – Level: master ninja
You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Kandyland's favorite FMLs
by handyman13 / 07/25/2011 at 1:43am / United States / Miscellaneous
by ugly / 07/24/2011 at 10:53pm / United States (Florida) / Love
by tgd4444 / 07/23/2011 at 6:29am / Malaysia (Johor) / Miscellaneous
by j1hill33 / 07/14/2011 at 1:09am / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous
by outofajob / 07/08/2011 at 1:10am / United States / Work
Today, my friends staged an intervention. I'm not on drugs, I'm not an alcoholic, and I own my own house. My car is paid for and my job pays well. Apparently, I need an intervention because my life is not where they want it to be, which involves me being married with children. FML
by Anonymous / 07/06/2011 at 7:43pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by dee / 07/03/2011 at 1:36am / United States / Kids
Today, I asked my daughter what time it was. She stared at the clock for several seconds before muttering, "I don't know". She's 14 years old and on the honour roll, and yet she can't tell the time on an analogue clock. FML
by sadmother / 07/01/2011 at 7:12pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Kids
Today, my daughter was charged with multiple counts of vandalism and trespassing. It seems she's been sneaking out in the middle of the night, stealing and breaking our neighbors' lawn ornaments. Specifically garden gnomes. FML
by Anonymous / 06/24/2011 at 5:22pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids
Today, my girlfriend went on a date with her mechanic. She said it was to get discounts when she goes in for maintenance. Not only does she not see a problem with it, but she's probably getting discounts on other services too. FML
by hcflorence1 / 06/04/2011 at 1:37pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love
Today, I was so sick that I was puking and had the runs. While on the toilet, I yelled for my boyfriend to get me a bowl to puke in. As I did so, I saw that a ton of it was forming on the floor in dots. My boyfriend had given me a spaghetti strainer. FML
by megomania / 05/02/2011 at 9:51am / United States (North Carolina) / Health
Today, my roommate thought it would be a good idea to show me his huge new tarantula despite knowing that I have extremely severe arachnophobia. I ended up killing it with a book and apparently now owe him $500. FML
by QWERTY / 04/03/2011 at 7:20pm / Animals
by phantomdriver / 03/24/2011 at 6:51pm / Canada (Alberta) / Transportation
Today, in an attempt to get my son to stop playing Call of Duty, I threw his Xbox controller out the window. He was so desperate, he followed it. His bedroom is on the second floor. My son has 3 broken ribs, and no future. FML
by failureparent / 03/20/2011 at 9:25pm / United States (California) / Geek
Today, I called the car repair shop to complain to the manager about their tow driver who keeps making sexual passes at me. The girl taking my call started crying and said that their driver was her husband. I'm being sexually harassed, my car is dead, and I think I just ended a marriage. FML
by WhyMe / 03/20/2011 at 1:42pm / United States (Indiana) / Transportation