Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Kandyland

Offline (the 04/15/2015 at 8:11am) | Search for a member

Kandyland

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 18 March 1984 (31 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 5327
  • Number of comments : 41
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

About Kandyland : My life is completely f*ed.

Kandyland's page activity

Visits<b>poncho55</b> - the 12/09/2014 at 1:06pm<b>Budderchook</b> - the 05/23/2014 at 8:58pm<b>Tempted1</b> - the 12/28/2013 at 10:02am<b>ireply_wlyrics</b> - the 12/19/2013 at 5:56pm<b>Mornai</b> - the 09/12/2011 at 3:24am<b>pinklover24</b> - the 02/09/2011 at 6:46pm<b>FFML_314</b> - the 01/27/2011 at 12:29am<b></b> - the 01/24/2011 at 4:28pm<b>sweet_candy_</b> - the 12/30/2010 at 3:22am

Kandyland's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

See all of Kandyland's badges

Kandyland's favorite FMLs

Today, while watching tv at my mother's house, a tornado warning came across the screen. After being in the dark nasty basement for half an hour, my mom realizes she was watching a recorded show, and that tornado warning was for 2 weeks ago. FML

#17393465
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32552) - you deserved it (4574)

On 08/07/2011 at 1:29am - misc - by cargaljen - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was sitting in the hospital waiting area. An old lady was crying, and my five year old daughter asked her, "Are you okay?" The woman quietly nodded, prompting my daughter to scream at the top of her lungs, "Well shut up then!" FML

#17391065
287 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35325) - you deserved it (10056)

On 08/06/2011 at 9:40pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my eight year old son came to me and said he thinks it's time he started wearing bras. It turns out his older brother has been mind-fucking him for the past several months and has him convinced it's something all boys his age do. I can't convince him otherwise. FML

#17390197
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36275) - you deserved it (3585)

On 08/06/2011 at 7:37pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, my house was raided for drugs. I had to find out my father is a drug dealer. The cops then told me this wasn't their first time here, but it was the first time I was home to see it. They said it was nice to finally meet me. FML

#17375446
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50804) - you deserved it (2561)

On 08/05/2011 at 4:41am - misc - by thehumanshield - United States (California)

Today, I went into a crowded store and tried out a blazer. I was thinking to myself how hot I looked in it when the manager tapped me on the shoulder and politely said, "Excuse me sir, that's a ladies' blazer." FML

#17374086
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24975) - you deserved it (9493)

On 08/05/2011 at 1:45am - misc - by Fred - Japan

Today, I got a complaint from my neighbor about a little girl staring at her through my guest bedroom window for the past month. I live alone. And now I'm scared to live in my own house. FML

#17349963
378 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53511) - you deserved it (3285)

On 08/03/2011 at 12:04am - misc - by soccerbuddyz - United States (Florida)

Today, I broke my leg while trying to show my friend how I broke my other leg. FML

#17342308
277 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22391) - you deserved it (67422)

On 08/02/2011 at 10:17am - health - by chinchilla4404 (woman) - United States

Today, while working at Kohl's this woman came up to me and asked if I was Native American, I said yes, she then says "Oh! I thought you guys went extinct." This is the country I live in. FML

#17297056
328 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44897) - you deserved it (3528)

On 07/29/2011 at 11:18am - work - by crazygirl12 - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was in a restroom sitting on the toilet, when the guy right next to me noticed my AC/DC boxers around my ankles and started to sing "Back in Black." FML

#17296721
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25007) - you deserved it (9548)

On 07/29/2011 at 10:27am - misc - by sofargone420 (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, someone had the unique opportunity to be able to say to me, "Excuse me, your pants are on fire." FML

#17270186
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27607) - you deserved it (4980)

On 07/26/2011 at 5:22pm - health - by smokin (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I called my seven-year old son to help me with the ice-maker on the fridge because it wasn't working. Without even pausing, he turned the child lock off and started laughing at me. FML

#17260733
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13970) - you deserved it (36364)

On 07/25/2011 at 11:19pm - kids - by unnamed - United States (California)

Today, I found out that I have a warrant for my arrest, because I was fishing without a fishing license. FML

#17249343
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19503) - you deserved it (30450)

On 07/25/2011 at 1:43am - misc - by handyman13 - United States

Today, I saw a facebook status that said, 'Wedding today. Ugly people belong together.' I'm getting married today. FML

#17246888
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36041) - you deserved it (3315)

On 07/24/2011 at 10:53pm - love - by ugly (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was arrested. The policeman threw me to the ground because I wouldn't answer his questions. This was after he told me I had the "right to remain silent". FML

#17227396
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36388) - you deserved it (7599)

On 07/23/2011 at 6:29am - misc - by tgd4444 (man) - Malaysia (Johor)

Today, my dad told my little brother that Tokyo is in China. This is the same guy that yells at me every time I get a "B" on a report card. FML

#17102517
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29638) - you deserved it (1950)

On 07/14/2011 at 1:09am - misc - by j1hill33 - United States (Georgia)



FML's blog

  • JT's illustrated FML
  • Hello everybody, how's it going? This week we're looking at the delicate art of getting along with your neighbours. If you've ever lived in an apartment building, you'll know that having people live…

Friday 22 May 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: