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KandyK16's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 09/24/2013 at 1:16am / Love
by cuntsmom / 09/24/2013 at 12:47am / United States / Kids
by poor teacher / 09/23/2013 at 1:54pm / United States (Utah) / Miscellaneous
Today, one of my regular customers asked when we were getting married. I told him as much as I would love that, I didn't think my boyfriend would be very happy. He called me a "stuck up b*tch" and informed me he only comes to my line because he can always see through my shirt. He is 72. And married. FML
by peejay6831 / 09/23/2013 at 2:27am / United States / Work
Today, I started shaking my son's Little Bill doll in frustration, as the batteries weren't working. My nosy neighbor saw through the window and called the cops. They wouldn't believe me and now the whole neighborhood thinks I'm a child abuser. FML
by baddad / 09/23/2013 at 12:44am / United States / Kids
by peacechick71 / 09/22/2013 at 7:30pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
Today, I started my new job at a restaurant I really like. As I waited on my first customer, I suggested that he try the apple pie, because it's my favourite. He looked up at me and said, "Yeah? Figures! Lay off 'em, porky!" FML
by -_- / 09/22/2013 at 2:00pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work
by msmidnight1965 / 09/22/2013 at 1:22pm / Canada / Kids
Today, I told my mom that I want to try out for a singing competition on TV, so I might be able to kick off my musical career. She convinced me to sing a song for her, so I did. Mid-way through, she lost it, burst into laughter, and told me to stay in school. FML
by Anonymous / 09/21/2013 at 4:56pm / United States (New Jersey) / Transportation
Today, while sorting through my clothes, I found one of my ex's old sweaters. After a lot of thought and difficulty, I threw it out. I felt empowered, until my father later rifled through my trash and claimed the sweater for himself. FML
by gemtas5 / 09/21/2013 at 1:28pm / Sweden (Skane Lan) / Love
Today, my dad made a big show of sending me to my room and grounding me for a week. Not because he heard me cursing at my video game, but because I "swear like a little girl" and it embarrassed him in front of his friends. FML
by dadyoureacunt / 09/21/2013 at 9:10am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 09/20/2013 at 6:45pm / United States (New York) / Kids
by Anonymous / 09/20/2013 at 5:00pm / Hungary (Szeged) / Love
by hoolagirl4422 / 09/20/2013 at 7:23am / Hong Kong / Love
by Anonymous / 09/20/2013 at 12:57am / United States (California) / Intimacy
- Today, a car almost hit me. Since I wasn’t hurt, the driver chased me with a baseball bat to finish… Today, I’m a French teacher in Ukraine, and in class we were debating gun legislation. In order to… Today, I truly understood that I was in Germany when, in my workplace, during our lunch break, one…