Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

KandyK16

Offline (the 12/31/2014 at 5:40am) | Search for a member

KandyK16

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 9 October 1998 (16 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 15636
  • Number of comments : 6
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About KandyK16 : .

KandyK16's page activity

Visits<b>darkjosh05</b> - the 09/11/2014 at 6:49pm<b>ameliaaa4</b> - the 12/30/2013 at 5:30pm<b>emxy92</b> - the 12/27/2013 at 9:24pm<b>jips5793</b> - the 11/26/2013 at 2:05pm<b>Linda_zlk</b> - the 11/22/2013 at 5:49am<b>mzrayray</b> - the 11/03/2013 at 7:17pm<b>Claytonioo</b> - the 10/17/2013 at 11:45pm<b>Weiss729</b> - the 10/06/2013 at 10:49am<b>tifdunc</b> - the 10/03/2013 at 11:02pm<b>sweet0cheeks</b> - the 09/26/2013 at 9:39am<b>averbell</b> - the 09/25/2013 at 9:26pm<b>w0o0a</b> - the 09/22/2013 at 8:53pm<b>mweb8416</b> - the 09/21/2013 at 7:53pm<b>jff1998</b> - the 09/19/2013 at 6:03pm<b>Trollx</b> - the 09/14/2013 at 4:36pm<b>iHiccupBS</b> - the 09/14/2013 at 3:47pm<b>0void0</b> - the 09/10/2013 at 11:52pm<b>Edogg215</b> - the 09/07/2013 at 10:48am

KandyK16's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of KandyK16's badges

KandyK16's favorite FMLs

Today, my husband finally returned from his 18-month deployment. Sexually starved, we wasted no time getting busy. Later as we finally cooled off, I got a message from my Aunt. She was hiding in our closet the whole time to surprise us with cake for his safe return. FML

#20743795
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (81142) - you deserved it (7401)

On 06/24/2013 at 12:37am - intimacy - by jgtrflynn (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I was teasing my 6-year-old sister about having a boyfriend. I asked her, "Did he take his shirt off?" She promptly said no. A few minutes later, she said, "But he did take his pants off." I then asked why. She said, "To show me his penis." FML

#20743211
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53749) - you deserved it (7879)

On 06/23/2013 at 7:36pm - kids - by joe - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was told by a friend that my girlfriend has been cheating on me. Her defence was that if I had a bigger dick she wouldn't have been, in her words, forced to go elsewhere for sex. My mother's response when I confided this in her: "Ask me if I care." FML

#20742827
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49010) - you deserved it (4658)

On 06/23/2013 at 3:19pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I took my cat to the vet. The creepy vet looked me in the eyes and said, "This isn't the only pussy I'll be checking out today." FML

#20742647
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51704) - you deserved it (3685)

On 06/23/2013 at 1:26pm - misc - by o_O (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I decided to go buy myself a dildo to use on my lonely nights. Once at the adult store, I also grabbed a birthday card to make it seem the dildo wasn't for me. At the register, the cashier looked at me and said, "For God's sake, save yourself some money. I already know it's for you." FML

#20742274
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58893) - you deserved it (22964)

On 06/23/2013 at 6:38am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend found an empty snail shell. I tried messing with him by saying the snail had turned into a slug, like caterpillars turn into butterflies. He quickly replied, "Yeah I know. I'm not a tard, babe." and said he'd been taught all that and more back in school. What the hell? FML

#20741108
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42805) - you deserved it (6418)

On 06/22/2013 at 3:28pm - misc - by our kids will be derps (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my boyfriend and I had a threesome. He suggested we have another guy. It ended up devolving into a twosome, and I wasn't part of it. FML

#20740333
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (76571) - you deserved it (17369)

On 06/22/2013 at 2:39am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my drunk dad decided to wake me up by lobbing our cat directly into my now-mauled face. FML

#20739340
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40456) - you deserved it (2859)

On 06/21/2013 at 4:38pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Brabant)

Today, I came back from the doctor after having been diagnosed with a UTI. My dad now won't shut up about it, saying stuff like, "You must be 'pissed'", "Looks like 'urine' a bit of pain", and "'Urea'-lly need some antibiotics, son", all while making obnoxious finger quotes in the air. FML

#20739103
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42413) - you deserved it (4716)

On 06/21/2013 at 2:05pm - health - by assholedad (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, after years of battling my social anxiety issues, I went out clubbing with my friends. A girl started talking to me and we actually hit it off. The next thing I know, I'm on the floor getting wailed on by some bloke for hitting on his girlfriend. She didn't do a thing to stop him. FML

#20738899
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45590) - you deserved it (3256)

On 06/21/2013 at 12:10pm - misc - by lehonj49 (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I again had to quietly sneak in through my bedroom window. I don't live with my parents. I go through my window because my cat thinks everyone who walks in through the door at night is a burglar or something and attacks them. FML

#20738804
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49318) - you deserved it (10401)

On 06/21/2013 at 10:28am - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I honked at a man in a Subway parking lot. He rolled down his window and screamed insults and slurs at me before driving away. Why did I honk at him? He'd left his lunch on top of his car. FML

#20737996
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40274) - you deserved it (3597)

On 06/20/2013 at 10:17pm - misc - by just trying to be nice (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, while having sex with my husband, he accidentally elbowed me in the face. I don't know which is worse: that he didn't stop to see if I was OK, or that it seemed to turn him on and he climaxed immediately after he'd hit me. FML

#20736775
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55745) - you deserved it (5501)

On 06/20/2013 at 4:47am - intimacy - by naughtymommy0317 (woman) - United States

Today, a customer broke my nose for refusing to give him a discount because the product he was buying had a fine layer of dust on the box. FML

#20736654
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42236) - you deserved it (2954)

On 06/20/2013 at 2:32am - work - by Whytetrash - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was eating lunch when my grandmother came over and started watching me. Suddenly she said, "I see you're getting breasts". I'm a guy. FML

#20736581
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38741) - you deserved it (7740)

On 06/20/2013 at 1:49am - misc - by ohmygod (man) - United States



Caleb Taylor's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Best of the Worst #14
  • We're back! Hooray! It's the month of May and time once again to dig around the FML postbag to see what wonders of the English language we can find. Like a sculptor making a statue out of a block of marble,…

Wednesday 20 May 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: