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Kallystos

Offline (the 03/16/2014 at 6:55pm) | Search for a member

Kallystos

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 31 July 1989 (26 years)
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 341
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About Kallystos : I am just me!

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Kallystos's favorite FMLs

Today, my wife shaved her pubic hair so that it resembles Hitler's mustache. She won't stop referring to it as "the Clitler". FML

#20637691
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63533) - you deserved it (9604)

On 05/02/2013 at 8:50pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my sister texted me, saying she was about to go into surgery. It's been a long time coming, and we've both been worried about what could happen. I texted "good luck" back. My phone autocorrected it to "goodbye" and I didn't even notice. FML

#20636856
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56015) - you deserved it (7805)

On 05/02/2013 at 12:49pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I realized my favorite pen advertises a vaginal cream. I've been letting people borrow it for months. FML

#20634740
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38333) - you deserved it (8388)

On 05/01/2013 at 12:28pm - misc - by MrConcise (man) - United States

Today, it was raining heavily so I wore my black poncho as I walked to work. On the way there I noticed an old and seemingly homeless man following me. I turned around to confront him. He picked up a stick and screamed "Expecto Patronum!" Apparently I look like a dementor. FML

#20558527
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31509) - you deserved it (5914)

On 03/24/2013 at 8:23pm - misc - by Anna L. - United States (Texas)

Today, I tried to get my boyfriend to roll over while he was asleep. He snores loud enough to wake the neighbors and if he lays on his side he usually stops. Instead of rolling over, he stuck his leg in the air, farted twice, and laughed about it in his sleep. He's still snoring. FML

#20447496
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36067) - you deserved it (5186)

On 01/08/2013 at 2:44am - misc - by no sleep for me -

Today, as I have been for 10 years, I'm allergic to fruit. After an argument with my mother, she yelled, "Here, have a banana and go kill yourself!" FML

#20434659
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48201) - you deserved it (7213) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 12/31/2012 at 5:09pm - misc - by aelia_oups - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was getting a bikini wax to prove to my husband that I could be sexy despite being five months pregnant. As the woman was applying the wax, she said, "You know, if I wanted to, I'm in the perfect spot to reach in and steal that baby." FML

#20097870
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27240) - you deserved it (3465)

On 10/02/2012 at 1:01am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States



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