KELSEYJOHNSON23

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KELSEYJOHNSON23

4Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 23 August 1994 (21 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1346
  • Number of comments : 17
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About KELSEYJOHNSON23 : Only ever use the FML app,

I can't stand people on here that take others comments too seriously.

KELSEYJOHNSON23's page activity

Visits<b>Draysor</b> - the 06/06/2016 at 2:29am<b>ScratchCatPower</b> - the 05/18/2016 at 7:32am<b>mehibud</b> - the 04/06/2016 at 11:25am<b>Wane8822</b> - the 03/12/2016 at 10:36pm<b>ratman775</b> - the 09/26/2015 at 7:23am<b>chris_mates</b> - the 09/14/2015 at 10:07am<b>lil_jimmy</b> - the 05/24/2015 at 4:52am<b>SurfingPichu</b> - the 03/18/2015 at 6:29am<b>ostark</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 11:04am<b>Furby94</b> - the 08/02/2014 at 4:37pm<b>fuzzy101606</b> - the 05/05/2014 at 2:02am<b>RutnaPapagia</b> - the 04/25/2014 at 11:20pm<b>Arni792</b> - the 04/05/2014 at 1:41am<b>Bweav1</b> - the 12/21/2013 at 1:27pm<b>indy1</b> - the 11/11/2013 at 10:29am<b>waterski123</b> - the 10/07/2013 at 11:21pm<b>tacojauns</b> - the 01/08/2013 at 9:13am<b>brandonborgie</b> - the 11/24/2011 at 7:55am

Fucked!<b>mehibud</b> - the 04/06/2016 at 5:25pm<b>Wane8822</b> - the 03/13/2016 at 4:36am<b>chris_mates</b> - the 09/14/2015 at 4:07pm<b>lil_jimmy</b> - the 05/24/2015 at 10:52am

KELSEYJOHNSON23's FML badges

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Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

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KELSEYJOHNSON23's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to collect my daughter from the hospital. Her boyfriend was even more upset than she was, because his iPhone's screen was damaged beyond repair when the doctor pulled it out of my daughter's vagina. FML

by smart move there / 05/16/2012 at 12:10pm / Ireland (Kildare) / Intimacy

Today, I met a hot guy at the bar and we hit it off instantly. After a few drinks, he called a cab for us. When it arrived, I seducingly asked, "My place or yours?" He responds, "Both. I'll go to mine and you go to yours" and walked away. The cab driver laughed the whole way home. FML

by ultraattitude / 04/22/2012 at 3:01am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, while I was cuddling with my girlfriend, she looked at me and leaned in. Thinking she was going to kiss me, I leaned too. Just as we were about to kiss, she screamed "COW KISSES" and somehow managed to lick my eyeball. FML

by Brian / 03/17/2012 at 10:32pm / United States (Washington) / Love

Today, I was shopping for tampons when a cute guy came over and gave me his number. He said, "Call me in 3 to 5 days." FML

by Tristansefam1367 / 03/12/2012 at 9:11am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, while I was on the floor stocking a bottom shelf, a man walked up behind me and humped the back of my head. He ran away laughing. This kind of shit happens all the time. I hate my job. FML

by cero_kewl / 03/05/2012 at 12:12am / United States / Work

Today, while working as a receptionist at a health clinic a woman came to settle her account. Before she left, she held out her closed palm and asked if I could put something in the bin for her. I held out my hand and watched many bits of chewed fingernails land in my palm. FML

by Tay / 02/16/2012 at 8:29pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Work

Today, my sister attacked me and stuffed a Tic Tac up my nose. I'm currently in the hospital waiting to have it removed. FML

by tictacnose / 01/07/2012 at 7:33pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health

Today, I walked in on my mom, braiding my dad's pubic hair. I don't know what scarred me more; my mom braiding his pubic hair or the fact that his pubic hair is long enough to be braided. FML

by Joe / 12/10/2011 at 8:03pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy

Today, I walk into my grandma's house after having a fabulous lunch with a few friends. The first thing I hear is "Be a dear and help me change my colostomy bag." I lost that fabulous lunch. FML

by NoThanksGrandma / 11/20/2011 at 2:37am / Miscellaneous

Today, my dad walked in on me and my girlfriend having sex. His only reaction was to mutter, "Put some back into it, son." before awkwardly sidling out. FML

by ifeeldirty / 10/27/2011 at 8:22am / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy

Today, after having had sex with my girlfriend for the first time the night before, she went to the doctor. He said she's still physically a virgin. FML

by Mini-wanker / 10/18/2011 at 1:34pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I was at the book store when a book caught my eye: Overcoming Anxiety For Dummies. I wanted to look through the book but I was too nervous to pick it up, thinking everyone in the store would look at me. FML

by Mack / 09/08/2011 at 8:01pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health

Today, some cops came to my house saying that the neighbors thought the party I was having was too loud and obnoxious. It was my grandmother's 86 birthday party. FML

by Paul / 08/07/2011 at 9:49pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, while stuck in traffic on the highway, my 5 year old in the back seat asked me why the man in the car next to us was pulling on the other man's "peepee". FML

by whatnot / 08/04/2011 at 12:04am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, I was helping clean my grandpa's garage when I found some of his old election posters from the '50s. They included slogans such as, "Dick: you know it feels right" and "Want growth? Choose Dick." I'm not sure whether to be disgusted or impressed. FML

by Nick / 07/27/2011 at 1:32pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous