Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

KBurns207

Search for a member

KBurns207

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 3 August 1992 (23 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3556
  • Number of comments : 156
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

About KBurns207 : I'm a pizza delivery driver. I produce music in my free time. I'm the one holding the camera in my photo. It was taken at Versailles in France and it was bright as hell out. My dreams are to one day be a respected producer and I take online production classes when I can. I love music, dirtbikes, and laughing. I'm an extremely honest person (Some might even say blunt). I've got a very rare disease called Recurrent Respiratory Papillomatosis and have had 40+ surgeries to remove tumors since the age of 15. I have an amazing girlfriend who's with me every step of the way. The experience has changed my outlook on life significantly. Live life to the fullest. You may not have as much time as you think.

KBurns207's page activity

Visits<b>odod777</b> - the 12/21/2015 at 11:42am<b>Cbjhockeyfan</b> - the 11/19/2015 at 3:18pm<b>RandomJam124</b> - the 10/17/2015 at 4:01pm<b>Cookie_Overlord</b> - the 10/17/2015 at 3:59pm<b>fishingforubies2</b> - the 08/04/2015 at 12:46am<b>dying_to_know</b> - the 05/24/2015 at 4:53pm<b>Stripes12345</b> - the 03/05/2015 at 8:52pm<b>sanuxo_</b> - the 02/08/2015 at 5:37pm<b>SurfingPichu</b> - the 01/22/2015 at 4:26pm<b>nina0917</b> - the 01/22/2015 at 12:18am<b>RipeFlame</b> - the 12/13/2014 at 10:43pm<b>rocker_chick23</b> - the 11/26/2014 at 8:06pm<b>WannabeeWinnee</b> - the 10/22/2014 at 2:18am<b>unlucky_lucy</b> - the 10/15/2014 at 3:02pm<b>tiguur</b> - the 09/03/2014 at 6:29pm<b>phamdrake</b> - the 09/02/2014 at 1:44pm<b>farleytb42</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 8:42am<b>swampbaby985</b> - the 07/14/2014 at 3:06am

Fucked!<b>fishingforubies2</b> - the 08/04/2015 at 6:46am

KBurns207's FML badges

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

Back from a party

An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

See all of KBurns207's badges

KBurns207's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to bail my dad out of jail, for beating up my boyfriend, for sleeping with my mom. FML

#17089969
524 comments

I agree, your life sucks (146505) - you deserved it (8359)

On 07/13/2011 at 2:32am - intimacy - by whyme102008 - United States (Texas)

Today, I had sex with a Juggalo. FML

#16534562
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16233) - you deserved it (58733)

On 06/06/2011 at 7:20pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I ran into my ex-girlfriend from high school at the exact pizza shop we met at where I worked in high school. She broke it off with me after she caught me cheating with her best friend. These days, she's a lawyer who makes six figures a year. I still work at the same pizza shop. FML

#16495261
264 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12630) - you deserved it (121214)

On 06/04/2011 at 5:36am - love - by PizzaBoySwag (man) - United States (California)

Today, my family went to Seaworld. When we got there, my dad sarcastically told me not to get lost, because I might get mistaken for Shamu. FML

#16255718
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39435) - you deserved it (7720)

On 05/19/2011 at 6:46pm - misc - by Username - United States

Today, I got pulled over for going about 88mph. When the cop asked why I was speeding, I replied, "I was trying to go back in time". He didn't like that answer and gave me a ticket. FML

#16248002
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12796) - you deserved it (67874)

On 05/19/2011 at 1:30am - work - by 613tanner -

Today, I got circumcised by my zipper. FML

#16205540
348 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66578) - you deserved it (10324)

On 05/16/2011 at 12:33pm - health - by Bobby M - Ireland (Carlow)

Today, my mom confused me with my dad. She got in the shower with me. FML

#15883377
315 comments

I agree, your life sucks (86610) - you deserved it (6487)

On 04/22/2011 at 7:11am - intimacy - by Damian -

TODAY, I PRESSED CAPS LOCK ON MY LAPTOP AND THE KEY GOT STUCK. NOW ALL OF MY LETTERS ARE IN CAPITAL LETTERS. I HAVE TRIED EVERYTHING. FML

#15415559
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41496) - you deserved it (33341)

On 03/21/2011 at 1:32pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Wiltshire)

Today, I emailed my potential boss a copy of my résumé. However, I didn't realize until too late that it was my fake resume, created for an English class project. Some of my former jobs included being a certified gangster, as well as the former president of Canada. FML

#15334821
245 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17481) - you deserved it (50486)

On 03/16/2011 at 9:01am - work - by Almostfunny (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I got mugged by a midget. FML

#15203950
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40198) - you deserved it (13394)

On 03/05/2011 at 1:55am - misc - by insomnitude (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I had to take an emergency contraceptive. I was talking to my boyfriend about it, and I told him that my stomach really hurt. His response? "Aw. That's just the baby dying." FML

#15109555
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49351) - you deserved it (20327)

On 02/25/2011 at 12:12am - intimacy - by greenchan (woman) - United States (Vermont)

Today, I had an asthma attack because I was masturbating too vigorously. FML

#14614726
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18771) - you deserved it (45131) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 3:13pm - intimacy - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins

Today, while going to work, I was mugged. On the way back, I was mugged. FML

#14549373
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41781) - you deserved it (3566)

On 01/11/2011 at 11:04pm - money - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I found out that my wife was having sex with my friend. It turned out that my genius cat realized it wasn't me there and attacked his balls, severely cutting them. I now have to kill my cat and pay for his medical bills to sew his balls back. FML

#14512160
475 comments

I agree, your life sucks (74521) - you deserved it (4018)

On 01/08/2011 at 8:11pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was working in a restaurant. On the receipt under "tip" someone actually took the time to write out "$0.00." FML

#14288653
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27622) - you deserved it (7138)

On 12/21/2010 at 7:05pm - money - by ismerf19 -



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: