KBurns207

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KBurns207

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 3 August 1992 (23 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3693
  • Number of comments : 156
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

About KBurns207 : I'm a pizza delivery driver. I produce music in my free time. I'm the one holding the camera in my photo. It was taken at Versailles in France and it was bright as hell out. My dreams are to one day be a respected producer and I take online production classes when I can. I love music, dirtbikes, and laughing. I'm an extremely honest person (Some might even say blunt). I've got a very rare disease called Recurrent Respiratory Papillomatosis and have had 40+ surgeries to remove tumors since the age of 15. I have an amazing girlfriend who's with me every step of the way. The experience has changed my outlook on life significantly. Live life to the fullest. You may not have as much time as you think.

KBurns207's page activity

Visits<b>figcurzyez</b> - the 02/22/2016 at 10:27am<b>odod777</b> - the 12/21/2015 at 11:42am<b>Cbjhockeyfan</b> - the 11/19/2015 at 3:18pm<b>RandomJam124</b> - the 10/17/2015 at 4:01pm<b>Cookie_Overlord</b> - the 10/17/2015 at 3:59pm<b>fishingforubies2</b> - the 08/04/2015 at 12:46am<b>dying_to_know</b> - the 05/24/2015 at 4:53pm<b>Stripes12345</b> - the 03/05/2015 at 8:52pm<b>sanuxo_</b> - the 02/08/2015 at 5:37pm<b>SurfingPichu</b> - the 01/22/2015 at 4:26pm<b>nina0917</b> - the 01/22/2015 at 12:18am<b>RipeFlame</b> - the 12/13/2014 at 10:43pm<b>rocker_chick23</b> - the 11/26/2014 at 8:06pm<b>WannabeeWinnee</b> - the 10/22/2014 at 2:18am<b>unlucky_lucy</b> - the 10/15/2014 at 3:02pm<b>tiguur</b> - the 09/03/2014 at 6:29pm<b>phamdrake</b> - the 09/02/2014 at 1:44pm<b>farleytb42</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 8:42am

Fucked!<b>fishingforubies2</b> - the 08/04/2015 at 6:46am

KBurns207's FML badges

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

Back from a party

An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

See all of KBurns207's badges

KBurns207's favorite FMLs

Today, I got home from work early and discovered why my 17-year-old daughter's sprained elbow isn't getting any better after weeks of treatment. She can't stop giving handjobs. FML

by Anonymous / 07/05/2013 at 10:26am / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy

Today, I decided to go buy myself a dildo to use on my lonely nights. Once at the adult store, I also grabbed a birthday card to make it seem the dildo wasn't for me. At the register, the cashier looked at me and said, "For God's sake, save yourself some money. I already know it's for you." FML

by Anonymous / 06/23/2013 at 6:38am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my husband was in our newborn's room, holding and talking to him. I guess he forgot the baby monitor, because I overheard him say, "Wanna know a secret? Daddy kills people." I really hope he was just quoting Dexter. FML

by imarriedanaxemurderer / 06/18/2013 at 1:01am / United States (Illinois) / Kids

Today, I found out that the same police officer who has arrested me twice has been sleeping with my wife. FML

by Anonymous / 06/17/2013 at 3:56pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, my son visited for the first time in three years, asking to stay a while. It turns out he insulted someone online and gave his address in case they wanted to fight him. They accepted the offer, and so my son's imaginary Muay Thai skills went AWOL, along with his testicles. FML

by I fathered a pussy. / 06/14/2013 at 6:12pm / United States (Florida) / Kids

Today, my estranged father, who is a cop, decided to show up to my 17th birthday party. He immediately began arresting people for underage drinking. Way to mend fences, dad. FML

by fuckyouverymuch / 06/13/2013 at 6:16am / Australia (Queensland) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was texting my boyfriend when he said, "Hold up." Thinking it'd be funny, I ran and grabbed my copy of the movie Up, and took a picture of me holding it and sent it to him. He replied, "Getting real tired of your shit." Then dumped me for my "dumb taste in humor." FML

by Anonymous / 05/31/2013 at 12:16am / United States (Utah) / Love

Today, my mum made me take her poodle on a walk, which she'd dressed in a tiara and a pink dog dress. Being a 19-year-old guy, I was pissed. After I got home, I saw that my mom had filmed me from the window and posted it to Facebook, to everyone's great delight. FML

by Anonymous / 05/30/2013 at 4:25pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Animals

Today, I found out I'm actually the uncle of my children. All four of them. FML

by Liferuinedforever / 05/14/2013 at 3:13am / Pakistan (Sindh) / Kids

Today, my mom came back from a major surgery. She also had a yeast infection. I had to push the applicator in because she couldn't bend down. This cannot be unfelt. FML

Today, I was the victim of a drive-by egging by some bastard riding a segway. He still got away. FML

by Anonymous / 04/19/2013 at 9:16pm / New Zealand / Transportation

Today, I was the victim of a drive-by egging by some bastard riding a segway. He still got away. FML

by Anonymous / 04/19/2013 at 9:16pm / New Zealand / Transportation

Today, I found out that Yale had actually accepted me seventeen years ago. My mother apparently burned my acceptance package and letters because she didn't want me to upstage her UChicago degree. FML

Today, I dressed up as Batman for a comic book convention. I was hit by a car on the way there by a man dressed up as the Joker for the same convention. FML

by ironies a b*tch / 04/13/2013 at 1:04am / United States (Illinois) / Transportation

Today, my little sister figured out how to use the printer. I came home to pictures of Nicolas Cage all over my room. FML

by Anonymous / 04/02/2013 at 5:22am / United States (New York) / Kids