Search for a member

Offline (22 hours ago)



  • Town/Country : Plattsburgh, United States
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Friday 24 November 1989 (26 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 6748
  • Number of comments : 138
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 37 posted

About KBear3109 : My name is Kelli and I'm a 26 year old stay at home mom/housewife. I have 2 little girls that are 5 years old and 4 years old. I like reading, watching Netflix, and doing crochet and knitting.

KBear3109's page activity

Visits<b>prajju99</b> - the 10/23/2016 at 3:33am<b>alex_gen</b> - the 09/13/2016 at 7:57am<b>Mustachesrule</b> - the 08/12/2016 at 8:26am<b>ImKimitheEmo</b> - the 06/30/2016 at 4:47pm<b>cacheson</b> - the 06/16/2016 at 7:25am<b>euys</b> - the 05/23/2016 at 4:43pm<b>LizG</b> - the 05/01/2016 at 3:57pm<b>patwo8</b> - the 04/05/2016 at 2:54am<b>sosaman</b> - the 03/04/2016 at 8:58pm<b>ArTic_CRIMSoN</b> - the 02/18/2016 at 10:26pm<b>QueenBii</b> - the 02/18/2016 at 12:24am<b>Muthaschlucker</b> - the 02/17/2016 at 9:56pm<b>jordanwilbanks</b> - the 02/17/2016 at 10:25am<b>asslover061981</b> - the 02/16/2016 at 9:39am<b>cohofourtyfour</b> - the 02/16/2016 at 7:22am<b>Jake42100</b> - the 02/13/2016 at 12:56pm<b>mrchachie</b> - the 02/13/2016 at 12:49am<b>salmanch</b> - the 02/12/2016 at 4:22pm

Fucked!<b>ImKimitheEmo</b> - the 06/30/2016 at 10:47pm

KBear3109's FML badges

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

See all of KBear3109's badges

KBear3109's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend keeps requesting that I make eye contact when I give him blowjobs. He won't let up about it. I don't know how to break it to him that his penis is too small for me to suck and look upward at the same time. FML

by oh gee / 05/02/2016 at 1:01am / Intimacy

Today, I took my boyfriend of 2 years on a family vacation to meet my family for the first time. We all got really drunk and he made out with my dad. This was day one and we don't fly back for another 16 days. FML

by Anonymous / 04/02/2016 at 1:48pm / United States (Oregon) / Holidays

Today, my high-strung and normally very proper mother took twice her prescribed dose of Ambien, and extolled the virtues of a "full blown sexual relationship with oneself", advising my teenage sister to "only include the men when they behave." FML

by buxton1 / 02/18/2013 at 3:24am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I walked into my mother's house to find that she had knitted clothes for some of the household appliances. The toaster was wearing a dress. FML

by anon / 01/13/2013 at 10:00pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, while at school, a bra fell out of my coat. After the initial shock, people started congratulating me on finally getting a girlfriend. I didn't have the heart to tell them it was my mom's. FML

by Tymer / 11/23/2012 at 10:56am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, my cat was too overweight to get out of the litter box, so he gave up, and went to sleep. I had to pick him up out of his own waste and clean him up. FML

by Jeanna S. / 11/23/2012 at 10:10am / United States / Animals

Today, I saw my cat playing with one of his many toy mice. Knowing he likes to play fetch, I picked it up and threw it across the room. Upon trying to pick it up a second time, I realized that not only was it not a toy, but it was only half-dead. FML

by Anonymous / 11/23/2012 at 1:17am / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I've been on duty at the hospital for just three hours so far, and I've already pulled five carving forks out of four different people. Good job, everybody. FML

by DocFUCKINGHATESSTUPIDPEOPLE / 11/22/2012 at 4:03pm / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, my brother decided to join me on my first date. Not only did he answer the door with a bat, he also got inside the car and sat next to my date, pushing me to the back. He stayed the entire time, and walked me back to the house. My mom laughed and gave him $20. It was a dare. FML

by Mmkay1515 / 11/12/2012 at 10:47pm / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was told that my insurance will no longer cover my birth control as it's deemed "unnecessary" for a man, which, according to them, I've been since August. I'm definitely still a woman. FML

by pheebs314 / 11/07/2012 at 4:16pm / United States (Washington) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, the bar owner I work for told us to pay better attention to our drunk patrons, and to start cutting them off. A fellow bar maid asked how we are supposed to tell when it's time. He pointed at me and said, "When they start hitting on her, they're too drunk to drive." FML

by kat / 10/31/2012 at 7:30am / United States (Florida) / Work

Today, I went to the hospital in labor expecting a baby boy. I ended the day with identical twins, a baffled doctor, and a husband convinced that our sons can clone themselves. FML

by CutestBoysEver / 10/29/2012 at 9:30pm / United States (Colorado) / Kids

Today, my boyfriend and I were preparing for the arrival of Hurricane Sandy. I tasked him with going out to buy emergency groceries in case we lose power. He returned with dozens of microwave cup noodles. We're going to starve. FML

by cupnoodles / 10/28/2012 at 4:14pm / United States (New York) / Love

Today, my son got expelled after using the photocopier to photocopy his penis. He then used the copies to replace every directional arrow posted throughout the school. FML

by thebeachisthatway / 10/22/2012 at 2:56pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids

Today, I tried to do my leaf collection project for biology, which ended with me being hospitalized because of an allergy attack. I have no idea what I'm allergic to, but my doctor says I should just assume I'm "allergic to all leaves, ever." FML

by leaftheerickson / 10/21/2012 at 6:31am / United States (New York) / Health