About Justine94_x : Hi.
I like pizza and anime. And cats.
About Justine94_x : Hi.
Justine94_x's FML badges
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
I agree, their lives suck
200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.
You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.
Justine94_x's favorite FMLs
Today, I ran into an old friend at the store with my infant daughter. As we caught up, she assured me that I could get rid of all my baby weight from the pregnancy. If only I had actually been pregnant. My wife carried her and looks fantastic. FML
by Anonymous / 11/23/2015 at 9:19am / Australia (Western Australia) / Intimacy
by shavednipples / 10/11/2015 at 1:59pm / United States (California) / Health
Today, I was having lunch and I started throwing crumbs at my friend at the other table. Then I accidentally hit the kid next to him. He got really mad and came over and hit me in the shoulder with a brick. A brick. He just had a brick in his bag. FML
by horp / 09/29/2015 at 6:00pm / United States (Connecticut) / Work
Today, I heard a noise outside in the middle of the night, so I went out for a look. I'm also pregnant and can't stop farting. I get 2 steps outside and accidentally let a huge one rip, then, from the shadows I hear "Oh my god!" and then running in the opposite direction. I farted away a prowler. FML
by Gassy / 09/21/2015 at 10:45am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
by pudh / 08/05/2015 at 7:08am / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy
by sassy_girl144 / 05/29/2015 at 6:58am / United Kingdom (West Berkshire) / Miscellaneous
by tobuscus9412 / 03/21/2015 at 9:04pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
Today, I jokingly sent my girlfriend a link to an article about giving better head. She didn't think it was funny, and has since sent me numerous articles about the female orgasm, and I just got a link to the Wikipedia article about the clitoris. FML
by Anonymous / 03/10/2015 at 7:15pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
Today, my roommate let out a blood-curdling scream in the bathroom. I ran in to see what was going on, only to find her sitting on the toilet, topless. Turned out she'd tried to pierce her own tit using a clothespin and a needle. FML
by Anonymous / 02/15/2015 at 12:57pm / Denmark / Miscellaneous
by burningman / 01/22/2015 at 5:40am / Germany (Hessen) / Transportation
by Anonymous / 12/01/2014 at 12:55pm / United States / Intimacy
by fuck fof and die dad / 11/20/2014 at 2:48pm / Germany (Schleswig-Holstein) / Intimacy
Today, at the gym, some muscle head idiot started yelling at the treadmill for not going fast enough, and I muttered "roid rage". Apparently said roids give him superhuman hearing, because he heard me from the other side of the room, and threatened to kill me. FML
by juggalomurderer59 / 11/12/2014 at 11:00am / United States / Health
- Today, I told my son off because he lost a form. A form that I later found in my right-hand pocket.… Today, at lunch, my seven-year-old daughter and I had a chat. I asked her if she had a sweetheart.… Today, and since forever, my boyfriend talks in his sleep. Last night, he told me, “I like you very…