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JustDerpin

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JustDerpin
  • Town/Country : Nowhere, USA
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4390
  • Number of comments : 170
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About JustDerpin : Hi, I'm a person

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100 kick ass comments

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JustDerpin's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend yet again decided to act like Edward Cullen from Twilight, and got his friend to act like Jacob. Every time they're around, my boyfriend always looks stoned and constipated, and his friend is shirtless. I feel like I'm in a shitty romance movie. FML

#20460771
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38945) - you deserved it (6911)

On 01/15/2013 at 1:57pm - love - by Bella (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I unknowingly used my shampoo thinking it was leave-in-conditioner. While walking to work, it started to rain. I started to produce suds. FML

#20443594
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9287) - you deserved it (22039)

On 01/05/2013 at 10:59am - misc - by nomegusta (woman) - United States

Today, I found out that there's something my new wife hates more than spiders. Black people. FML

#20441551
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23640) - you deserved it (4926)

On 01/03/2013 at 9:19pm - health - by WellShit (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my boyfriend of four years broke up with me by writing on my bathroom mirror in Sharpie. What did he write? "Hi, I'm Emily. I'm fat, ugly, and now single." FML

#20440103
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47068) - you deserved it (4165)

On 01/03/2013 at 1:42am - love - by Emily (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend of four years broke up with me by writing on my bathroom mirror in Sharpie. What did he write? "Hi, I'm Emily. I'm fat, ugly, and now single." FML

#20440103
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47068) - you deserved it (4165)

On 01/03/2013 at 1:42am - love - by Emily (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was getting a spray tan and realized I didn't have a hair tie, so I used a thong instead. I lost track of time and realized I needed to go pick up my daughter. I threw on my clothes, drove to pick her up, went to the store, and went for ice cream... thong still in my hair. FML

#20438564
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11295) - you deserved it (38751)

On 01/02/2013 at 12:33pm - health - by Embarrassed - United States

Today, my friend put my phone number on Craigslist. I still can't find the ad, but obviously everyone else can because I still haven't stopped receiving naked pictures. FML

#20419133
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30061) - you deserved it (3175)

On 12/24/2012 at 4:06pm - misc - by Chanman1924 - United States

Today, my friend put my phone number on Craigslist. I still can't find the ad, but obviously everyone else can because I still haven't stopped receiving naked pictures. FML

#20419133
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30061) - you deserved it (3175)

On 12/24/2012 at 4:06pm - misc - by Chanman1924 - United States

Today, I received a package from a local guy on Craigslist. Instead of the iPhone I paid $350 for, the box only contained a photo of an iPhone. The guy had been dumb enough to attach a return address, so my husband went over and beat the shit out of him. I now have to bail him out of jail. FML

#20416192
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37940) - you deserved it (11074)

On 12/23/2012 at 12:52pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my friend and I decided to go skinny-dipping in her pool just after we'd finished watching a scary movie. While we were in the pool, I heard something move in the bushes so I freaked out and ran onto the deck, slipping and falling flat on my back. Her dad saw the whole thing. FML

#20407433
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11343) - you deserved it (29733)

On 12/19/2012 at 12:19pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I had plans for a romantic night with my boyfriend, who is perfect in every way possible. We were going to have sex for the first time as well. Unfortunately, I had a dream last night about him shitting all over me and I can't look at him with a straight face. FML

#20403258
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33190) - you deserved it (13254)

On 12/17/2012 at 3:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my dad forced the whole family to sit through a two-hour lecture, with supporting research, on how the "Mayan prophecy" is actually a load of shit fabricated by conmen. Nice to know he thinks we're all borderline brain-dead, gullible fuckwits who believed it to begin with. Thanks, dad. FML

#20400784
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16222) - you deserved it (3741)

On 12/15/2012 at 1:43pm - misc - by oh gee, you don't say (woman) - United Kingdom (Southampton)

Today, my roommate pressed "snooze" on his alarm 14 times. I counted. FML

#20200321
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19945) - you deserved it (2091)

On 12/11/2012 at 10:57am - misc - by roommateprobssss:( - United States

Today, I had a presentation in French class. I was so nervous, the first thing I said when I got up there was, "Hola." FML

#20193303
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18022) - you deserved it (3218)

On 12/06/2012 at 12:35am - work - by SpanishInFrenchClass (woman) - United States

Today, during a conversation, my boss said, "What, what?" Before I could stop myself, I replied, "In the butt." FML

#20191552
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9665) - you deserved it (19658)

On 12/04/2012 at 9:43pm - work - by whitecollar - United Kingdom (York)



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