About JuiceyyJae : Just Jillian.
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JuiceyyJae's favorite FMLs
Today, I learned that I'm expecting twins. A boy and a girl. My husband, upon finding out about this, immediately suggested that we give them Star Wars names. But not Luke and Leia. Oh no. He wants to name them Darth and Vayda. And he is absolutely serious about this. FML
by AGeeksWife / 09/12/2012 at 3:03am / United States (Wisconsin) / Kids
Today, I was having a really vivid dream in which I had to take a penalty kick to win the World Cup for the USA. I took the kick, but in reality, I smashed my foot against my bedroom wall and broke four of my toes. I also missed the kick in my dream. FML
by owwwww / 07/19/2012 at 4:05pm / United States (New Jersey) / Health
by Rae / 05/04/2012 at 5:09pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
by Sean / 03/03/2012 at 2:33am / Canada (Quebec) / Transportation
Today, my dad made me deliver a welcoming cake to our new neighbors. While I was making small-talk, I saw him climb over their backyard fence. A minute later, he climbed back over, with a plastic deck-chair in hand. I feel like an accessory to the pettiest theft in history. FML
by wtf dad / 03/02/2012 at 9:24pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 01/16/2012 at 10:19pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by mortifiedgrandchild / 01/09/2012 at 1:53pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
by blondie101 / 12/09/2011 at 1:11am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I saw my neighbor's Christmas tree they had put up on their porch, with decorative presents under it. Being that my neighbors hate me, I figured I would take a present to piss them off. While walking back home with the present, I opened it. Inside it read "I knew you would, douche bag." FML
by lebato97 / 12/08/2011 at 10:35pm / United States (Louisiana) / Miscellaneous
Today, my girlfriend, who is very self conscious about her body, finally decided to have sex with me. She told me to wait a few minutes, so I did. I stripped and turned around to find her in a one-piece swimsuit, with a hole cut out of the crotch. FML
by Anonymous / 07/13/2011 at 1:02am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 06/30/2011 at 1:44pm / United States (Kansas) / Work
by MakeMyDay_27 / 06/27/2011 at 12:46pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Kids
by animallover / 06/26/2011 at 1:39am / United States (Indiana) / Animals
by ifmlftw / 06/22/2011 at 12:03am / United States (Michigan) / Transportation
Today, while I was delivering pizza in the torrential downpour, I waited 5 minutes in the pouring rain for an old lady to dig 20 bucks out of her purse. Her total was $19.99. She told me to keep the change and make lots of money. FML
by micheal / 06/21/2011 at 12:52pm / United States / Work
- Today, I finally told my fiancé about the crippling sexual abuse I suffered through as a child. He… Today, most of my family was out of the house, so I took the opportunity to go to the bathroom and… Today, I put a sock on my dorm room door to get everyone to think I was getting laid. In truth, I'm…