Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

JoshArson

Offline (the 08/02/2015 at 5:12am) | Search for a member

JoshArson

4Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Little Rock, United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 5 September 1989 (25 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1498
  • Number of comments : 14
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About JoshArson : Just your average guy
-- 25 years old
-- love baseball and hockey
-- 911 dispatcher
-- gay

JoshArson's page activity

Visits<b>kylie2046</b> - 15 hours ago<b>napalm_uniqorn</b> - the 08/19/2015 at 7:19am<b>Izzyduck07</b> - the 08/18/2015 at 8:17am<b>Lustig_Junge</b> - the 08/09/2015 at 12:54am<b>yasss</b> - the 08/08/2015 at 7:48pm<b>imnotslick</b> - the 08/07/2015 at 3:16pm<b>sextext</b> - the 08/07/2015 at 3:08pm<b>tyler056</b> - the 08/06/2015 at 3:02am<b>macorncob</b> - the 08/05/2015 at 8:19pm<b>ihavenolifehaha</b> - the 08/03/2015 at 11:05pm<b>Jess0331</b> - the 08/03/2015 at 2:08pm<b>balnuaimi</b> - the 08/03/2015 at 4:30am<b>hsacainam</b> - the 08/02/2015 at 11:42pm<b>kpoakes</b> - the 08/02/2015 at 1:31pm<b>vikky538</b> - the 08/02/2015 at 8:32am<b>JustMe1600</b> - the 08/01/2015 at 10:46pm<b>Garagedwella</b> - the 07/30/2015 at 1:11am<b>lola4455</b> - the 07/29/2015 at 2:03am

Fucked!<b>Stazza11</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 6:11pm<b>sam882</b> - the 06/27/2015 at 1:23am<b>Araizaboi</b> - the 01/09/2015 at 8:03pm<b>Dylanlev05</b> - the 12/15/2014 at 1:09am

JoshArson's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of JoshArson's badges

JoshArson's favorite FMLs

Today, I just found my husband on Craigslist. He's working away from home, and he's looking to give a blowjob. FML

#21449578
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26401) - you deserved it (2072)

On 07/30/2015 at 3:29pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, my mom told me that she heard me and my best friend in my room grunting and talking about how hard we were. She said she loved me and accepted me no matter what. Thanks mom, but we were working out. FML

#21445547
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24617) - you deserved it (5083)

On 07/22/2015 at 4:12pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, while working security at my job, for the second time, a man with Down's Syndrome entered the store, went to one of the demo computers, opened YouTube, pulled up a video of oiled women wrestling and jerked off. There is no protocol in the handbook for how to deal with this scenario. FML

Today, my extremely religious mom ranted at me, saying I'd only bought an electric toothbrush so I could masturbate with it. I'm a guy. FML

#21435969
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27923) - you deserved it (1923)

On 07/03/2015 at 5:29pm - intimacy - by but cum to think of it... (man) -

Today, another idiot was admitted to my hospital with a foreign object up his ass. Yet again, the excuse went along the lines of "I tripped and fell on it." Please, someone tell me how you can accidentally trip anus-first onto the end of a cucumber, which just so happens to have a condom on it. FML

#21432533
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31784) - you deserved it (2304)

On 06/26/2015 at 9:21pm - work - by Idiot says "HIPAA violation" (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my boss confided in me that when a gay person visits his house, he discreetly follows them around and cleans anything they touched and everywhere they sat with disinfectant wipes. I've worked for him for 7 years but he doesn't know I'm gay. FML

#21430685
114 comments

Today, I found out that my homophobic boyfriend, who I was giving a chance to grow the fuck up and get over his obsession with bashing gays, has been cheating on me with another man. FML

#21425403
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38548) - you deserved it (4209)

On 06/13/2015 at 10:26am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had a one night stand. After holding in my farts all night as is done, I decided enough was enough and to calmly let one slip out. One did not calmly slip out instead I shit myself in her bed. I was naked at the time so was unable to hide it. FML

#21346279
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32923) - you deserved it (15321)

On 01/29/2015 at 4:17pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I blew my load in less than a minute. I wasn't having sex or even making out. I was spooning. FML

#21318416
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35494) - you deserved it (6558)

On 12/16/2014 at 7:01am - intimacy - by Extravirgin (man) - Germany (Bayern)

Today, my girlfriend took our prank war way too far and had a package sent to me at home. Confused, I opened it. It contained a dildo and a bottle of lube. I didn't know my dad was watching over my shoulder until I heard him choke on his coffee and felt it splash over my neck. FML

#21241836
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50717) - you deserved it (9218)

On 08/20/2014 at 5:03pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I once again had another guy's sweaty crotch pushed into my face. I still don't see why I enjoy wrestling. FML

Today, I learned the worst part about being dared to shave your ass hair: Stubble. FML

#21079543
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38002) - you deserved it (15742)

On 03/06/2014 at 9:54am - health - by DaggerHole (man) - Australia

Today, after weeks of summoning up the courage to come out of the closet to my best friend, I told her I was gay. Immediately after she started cracking up, thinking it was a joke. I was so confused and nervous, I went along with it. She still thinks I'm straight. FML

#21078266
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43267) - you deserved it (7029)

On 03/04/2014 at 9:46pm - misc - by augiedd (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went to get my first tattoo. Before we started, the tattooist told me to just relax and embrace the pain. I guess I did that too well; I kept getting an erection throughout. FML

#21030923
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42632) - you deserved it (8069)

On 01/17/2014 at 3:56pm - health - by sausages (man) - Macedonia (Karpos)

Today, I downloaded Grindr to my phone. It also downloaded to my mom's phone, my dad's phone, and my brother's phone. FML

#21030290
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40491) - you deserved it (21491)

On 01/16/2014 at 9:51pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)



FML's blog

  • Pauline's illustrated FML
  • Come on, no need to make that face ! Yep, it's sadly the last, mournful days of Summer. People are packing up their beach balls and flip flops, putting their caravans back into storage and trying to forget…

Friday 28 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: