JordanDempsey

Search for a member

JordanDempsey

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1121
  • Number of comments : 47
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 13 posted

About JordanDempsey : Yup

JordanDempsey's page activity

Visits<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/28/2014 at 12:49am<b>katiecakes13</b> - the 09/08/2013 at 7:31am<b>whoracle</b> - the 07/26/2013 at 4:19am<b>k_gils</b> - the 07/25/2013 at 9:12am<b>spazz666</b> - the 07/24/2013 at 10:47pm<b>miketopgunmike1</b> - the 07/24/2013 at 8:36pm<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 03/24/2013 at 11:20pm<b>AfroCircusMan</b> - the 03/24/2013 at 6:56pm<b>MacMonster</b> - the 03/24/2013 at 6:13pm<b>crackmore278</b> - the 03/24/2013 at 4:01pm

JordanDempsey's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

See all of JordanDempsey's badges

JordanDempsey's favorite FMLs

Today, I went skinny-dipping with my friends. At one point, I jokingly pointed out how one of them had the smallest boobs of us all. She calmly got out of the pond, dried herself, scooped up our clothes and phones, and drove off in her car. The cops she called arrived soon after. FML

by criminal tit offender / 08/31/2013 at 12:25pm / United States (Alabama) / Miscellaneous

Today, I started doing it again. I'd given up for years, but when I saw the pack I just couldn't help myself. One taste was enough to make me finish off the whole pack. Nobody knows that I've fallen off the wagon and I'm so ashamed of myself. Today, I began eating my cat's biscuits again. FML

by Aliiiice / 07/16/2013 at 9:18am / France (Haute-Normandie) / Health

Today, my grandma's new dildo arrived in the mail. We buried her yesterday. FML

by hinting / 06/17/2013 at 12:43pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy

Today, I woke up to find pieces of a dead spider stuck in my braces. FML

by gaggin / 12/26/2012 at 2:30pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, because my boyfriend drives a 2-seated sports car, I had to awkwardly sit on his brother's lap as we drove to the store. I soon felt a poking sensation through his pants, just a few minutes before we hit a bumpy road. FML

by orgasmicriding / 12/22/2012 at 5:55pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Transportation

Today, at a Christmas party, my crush came up to me and cutely pointed out that I was standing under mistletoe. The only response my stupid brain could think of was, "Probably full of nargles though." He gave me a confused look and walked away. FML

by Rhine / 12/16/2012 at 6:51pm / Barbados (Saint Michael) / Love

Today, I had to do a presentation in front of my entire school. I was very nervous, so I used the old trick of picturing everyone naked. Everyone then got a good view of my erection. FML

by Anonymous / 12/10/2012 at 3:41pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, I realized that sex with my husband has gotten so boring that I'd rather fake an orgasm than let him continue. FML

by hnickell93 / 12/10/2012 at 1:37pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I heard of an inevitable world-wide bacon shortage on the news. FML

by bacon lovers worst nightmare / 09/26/2012 at 2:57am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I discovered the crunching noise your foot will make if you accidentally drop a cement block on it. FML

by flatfoot / 08/09/2012 at 3:33pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health

Today, I came down with food poisoning of some sort. After hours of scrambling to the toilet to vomit and empty my bowels, my three-year-old daughter got fed up and is now trying to potty-train me. FML

by Anonymous / 04/22/2012 at 1:12pm / United States (Texas) / Kids

Today, my boyfriend thought it would be a good idea to viciously rip off my thong. My ass crack is numb. FML

by beccav23 / 10/25/2011 at 12:08pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I realized burying my dog underneath our swing-set was a bad idea. My two sons are now scarred for life. FML

by Bobsaget00 / 08/04/2011 at 6:19am / United States (Ohio) / Kids

Today, I walked in on my brother performing voodoo on a doll with my picture taped to its face. FML

by brebre101 / 07/31/2011 at 5:05am / Canada / Miscellaneous

Today, I shat out a staple. FML

by wtf / 06/09/2011 at 11:04am / United Kingdom (Edinburgh) / Health