Jon

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Jon

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 20 January 1990 (26 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 40276
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

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Jon's page activity

Visits<b>itsuniversal</b> - the 07/14/2016 at 9:19pm<b>mattzawesome</b> - the 04/11/2016 at 7:07pm<b>firefox9778</b> - the 03/10/2016 at 9:53am<b>liyate</b> - the 01/09/2016 at 9:37pm<b>RobotUnicorn1209</b> - the 11/12/2014 at 9:29pm<b>Lovely_Kitty23</b> - the 05/21/2014 at 4:38pm<b>moonriseriver</b> - the 04/16/2014 at 7:16pm<b>smallzz993</b> - the 01/26/2014 at 12:46pm<b>Zaros</b> - the 04/24/2013 at 11:06pm<b>ClaireTho</b> - the 04/14/2013 at 3:00pm<b>cufaoil</b> - the 10/06/2010 at 1:57am<b>Miso</b> - the 06/11/2009 at 1:06am<b>JStromberg</b> - the 06/09/2009 at 2:13pm<b>jmud</b> - the 06/07/2009 at 4:11pm<b>hellomynameisril</b> - the 06/07/2009 at 12:46pm<b>nokiac_b</b> - the 06/07/2009 at 10:48am<b>LonelyGoods</b> - the 05/26/2009 at 1:37am<b>mari0958</b> - the 05/25/2009 at 12:55am

Jon's FML badges

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

See all of Jon's badges

Jon's favorite FMLs

Today, at Six flags, friends and I were going to ride "Superman". People lose their phones on it easily, so I asked a friend who decided not to ride to put mine in her bag. When it ended, I learned she went and asked an employee in navy to hold onto it, but couldn't find him. Employees wear yellow. FML

by Anonymous / 09/12/2009 at 12:33pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was petsitting for my neighbor's new puppy. A huge thunderstorm came, and the puppy started whining and shivering violently. I pulled it into my lap to try and comfort it. One loud clap of thunder later, and the puppy had explosive diarrhea all over me. FML

by Puppysit88 / 04/16/2009 at 5:36pm / United States (North Carolina) / Animals

Today, I was walking back to my home in the city in the dark. I'm paranoid, so when I saw movement behind me I clutched my mace. The faster I walked, the closer the person seemed to be. I spun around and sprayed my attacker with mace. It was my shadow and the wind blew the mace back into eyes. FML

by Eyesore / 04/16/2009 at 5:27pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I wore out the highest heels I had but was nervous about falling because I am such a klutz. I got through the night without any injuries, so I changed into the sneakers I had brought with me to walk home. I tripped right outside my house in my sneakers and broke my ankle. FML

by klutz / 02/27/2009 at 3:23pm / United States (New Hampshire) / Miscellaneous

Today, my guy friend and I were in his dorm room watching a movie when he started kissing me. Things heated up so we moved things over to his bed. He was on me when a hand shoots down from his top bunk. His roommate had been up there the whole time and he wanted a high-five. So they high-fived. FML

by Menareidiots / 02/24/2009 at 6:32pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, my crush talked to me for the first time. He told me to stop staring. FML

by hatethatiloveyou / 02/09/2009 at 7:37pm / United States (Florida) / Love

Today, I drove my girlfriend home around 11 to her garage where we start to have sex. When she comes to climax she slips and hits her head. Her parents heard the crash and came down, we were both still naked and she was unconscious. FML

by douglisk1994 / 02/09/2009 at 7:07pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy

Today, I texted my boyfriend saying "Hi." His response: "I got your best friend pregnant". FML

by bittersweet / 02/07/2009 at 10:08pm / United States (New York) / Love

Today, I went to my boyfriend's work to surprise him. When I got there, I called him on his phone to tell him to turn around. I saw him look at his phone. His co-worker next to him asked who that was. He replied, "Just this fat chick I know". FML

by iamnotfat / 02/06/2009 at 5:14pm / United States (Illinois) / Love

Today, I found some porn videos in my parents room. I put them in and began to toss off, but as the camera moved up I realized it was my mom and my step-dad. FML

by Noname / 02/06/2009 at 1:25pm / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous

Today, while my 4 year old nephew was hugging me, he stepped back and declared, "Auntie, my Pee-do is hard, but it will go away." FML

by Fag_Hag / 02/05/2009 at 8:30pm / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous

Today, my friends and I go to a bar and get wasted. I walk around and see a kid. I start yelling, "There's a child in this bar! There's a CHILD in this BAR!" She turns around. She was a midget. FML

by frenchy / 02/05/2009 at 7:55pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend of 2 years sent me a text messages saying, "Don't worry I'm gonna break up with her soon. Love you." FML

by nycgirl424 / 02/05/2009 at 5:29pm / United States (New York) / Love

Today, my girlfriend gave me a blow-up doll and told me to practice. FML

by PlayTag / 02/04/2009 at 7:58pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I fell asleep. I felt something on my face. I batted it away. It was my hamster. It died from a concussion upon hitting the wall. FML

by EpicFail / 02/04/2009 at 6:29pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Animals