Joli_Plus_God

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Joli_Plus_God

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 10514
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Joli_Plus_God : "A smile is the best make up a girl can wear"

I'm 14 years old & a sophomore :3 If you can't tell by my title, I'm a female. I enjoy acting, singing, writing, watching TV, & playing on the computer/ my phone. ;3

Joli_Plus_God's page activity

Visits<b>jamaarlove</b> - the 12/02/2015 at 10:12pm<b>cheepcheep23</b> - the 11/14/2013 at 11:53am<b>ZombieGuyCXV</b> - the 07/22/2013 at 5:32pm<b>jadeluv</b> - the 07/16/2013 at 2:14am<b>IERTysonI</b> - the 07/13/2013 at 1:34pm<b>ragdoll316</b> - the 07/12/2013 at 5:29pm<b>EARPOLLUTION</b> - the 06/30/2013 at 9:57pm<b>golden_warrior</b> - the 06/28/2013 at 5:34pm<b>13ky13</b> - the 06/27/2013 at 10:49pm<b>CrazyJ716</b> - the 06/24/2013 at 7:50am<b>alicealiveordead</b> - the 06/18/2013 at 2:01pm<b>benmec</b> - the 06/18/2013 at 7:36am<b>rick1</b> - the 06/17/2013 at 10:39pm<b>Roskie</b> - the 06/17/2013 at 9:19pm<b>GayBlowjob</b> - the 06/16/2013 at 3:06am<b>Wizardo</b> - the 06/15/2013 at 6:53am<b>Mornai</b> - the 06/14/2013 at 11:15pm<b>iswimfast03</b> - the 06/12/2013 at 3:20pm

Joli_Plus_God's FML badges

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

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Joli_Plus_God's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend was extremely nervous to meet my parents but I made him do it anyway. One of the first things out of his mouth was, "I'm glad you had sex." When they gave him a look of shock, he added, "You know, when you made your daughter! She's awesome!" FML

by lsababy / 06/11/2013 at 2:46pm / United States (Michigan) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was meeting my boyfriend's family for the first time. The minute I stepped in the door his mother hit me in the face and kicked me out because I was "the slut her husband cheated on her with." My older sister and I look much alike. Too much alike. FML

by Anonymous / 06/11/2013 at 11:20am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, my friend told me he had just robbed a bank and needed a place to hide. Thinking he was joking, I let him in so we could hang out. 15 minutes later, the cops storm into my apartment. Now I'm an accomplice in a crime I thought was a joke. FML

by Anonymous / 06/10/2013 at 11:23pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, after years of researching and saving money, I got a pet fox. I was able to enjoy the majesty of the animal for three hours before it burrowed under the fence and ran away. FML

by SadFoxLady / 06/10/2013 at 2:01pm / United States (Iowa) / Animals

Today, in class, we were discussing stereotypes. We were asked about common ones about nearby cities. A guy said, "Well, they say Lumberton has the prettiest girls." My teacher asked if any of us were from Lumberton, so I raised my hand. The guy quickly said, "Nevermind." FML

by wellthanks / 06/10/2013 at 1:04pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my mother and grandmother informed me that my sixteen-year-old dog died. I was standing in Wal-Mart at the time. They then yelled at me because crying in public is "inappropriate." FML

by Anonymous / 06/10/2013 at 1:26am / United States (Idaho) / Animals

Today, my sister and I were having a slumber party in my room since my parents left on a trip. They left my grandparents here to watch us. It was past bed time and we started hearing some strange noises through my floor. We thought it was the radio. Turns out my grandma is a screamer. FML

by kalleylynn / 06/08/2013 at 2:38am / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to get intimate for the first time. He said he didn't want to use a condom, and that I should just give him one of my birth control pills instead, "so we can still be just as safe". What the hell? FML

by what the fuck / 06/07/2013 at 5:20pm / United Kingdom (Ealing) / Intimacy

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. She pulled down my trousers, saw my Poke-ball boxers, and absolutely lost it. I had to lie next to her in bed for the next 10 minutes hearing her howl with laughter while crying "Dickachu, I choose you!" FML

by Anonymous / 06/07/2013 at 3:10am / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy

Today, I went to a water park with a group of friends. As I went down the water slide, some complete turd waffle of a kid in the water kicked his leg out in line with my crotch. The moment I hit the bottom was the moment I think I became sterile. FML

by fuck kids / 06/06/2013 at 2:24pm / United States (New York) / Health

Today, at the office, my most annoying client asked me to send her a document. I have now sent it to her over 5 times, in a different format each time, and every single time she replies with, "Not in the requested format". She won't tell me what the requested format is. FML

by Anonymous / 06/06/2013 at 8:38am / Work

Today, I went to the gym for the first time in a while. I was doing upper body workouts and decided to ask a very large man to spot me while I did bench presses. As he stood over me, I saw two beads of sweat roll off his nose. One hit me on the cheek. The other landed in my open mouth. FML

by dollabill009 / 06/06/2013 at 4:49am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I got a promotion and transfer at work. My first responsibility is to fire my soon to be father in-law. FML

by hesgonnahateme / 06/06/2013 at 1:08am / United States (Kentucky) / Work

Today, I saw a man on my bike that was stolen a few years ago. I asked him if I could have my bike back just wondering what he'd say. He calmly replied, "Hell no, I stole this fair and square." FML

by anonymous / 06/06/2013 at 12:14am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I rescued a little boy who looked like he was drowning in a public pool. His mother then smacked me in the face for "touching him". FML

by butisavedyourkid / 06/06/2013 at 12:13am / United States / Kids