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Joli_Plus_God

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Joli_Plus_God
  • Town/Country : Fort Worth TX, U.S.A.
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1742
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Joli_Plus_God : "A smile is the best make up a girl can wear"

I'm 14 years old & a sophomore :3 If you can't tell by my title, I'm a female. I enjoy acting, singing, writing, watching TV, & playing on the computer/ my phone. ;3

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In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

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Joli_Plus_God's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend was extremely nervous to meet my parents but I made him do it anyway. One of the first things out of his mouth was, "I'm glad you had sex." When they gave him a look of shock, he added, "You know, when you made your daughter! She's awesome!" FML

Today, I was meeting my boyfriend's family for the first time. The minute I stepped in the door his mother hit me in the face and kicked me out because I was "the slut her husband cheated on her with." My older sister and I look much alike. Too much alike. FML

#20719355
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58525) - you deserved it (3889)

On 06/11/2013 at 11:20am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my friend told me he had just robbed a bank and needed a place to hide. Thinking he was joking, I let him in so we could hang out. 15 minutes later, the cops storm into my apartment. Now I'm an accomplice in a crime I thought was a joke. FML

#20718656
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53495) - you deserved it (14316)

On 06/10/2013 at 11:23pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, after years of researching and saving money, I got a pet fox. I was able to enjoy the majesty of the animal for three hours before it burrowed under the fence and ran away. FML

#20717566
311 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31732) - you deserved it (47120)

On 06/10/2013 at 2:01pm - animals - by SadFoxLady (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, in class, we were discussing stereotypes. We were asked about common ones about nearby cities. A guy said, "Well, they say Lumberton has the prettiest girls." My teacher asked if any of us were from Lumberton, so I raised my hand. The guy quickly said, "Nevermind." FML

#20717445
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53390) - you deserved it (5210)

On 06/10/2013 at 1:04pm - misc - by wellthanks (woman) - United States

Today, my mother and grandmother informed me that my sixteen-year-old dog died. I was standing in Wal-Mart at the time. They then yelled at me because crying in public is "inappropriate." FML

#20716871
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48599) - you deserved it (3568)

On 06/10/2013 at 1:26am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Idaho)

Today, my sister and I were having a slumber party in my room since my parents left on a trip. They left my grandparents here to watch us. It was past bed time and we started hearing some strange noises through my floor. We thought it was the radio. Turns out my grandma is a screamer. FML

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to get intimate for the first time. He said he didn't want to use a condom, and that I should just give him one of my birth control pills instead, "so we can still be just as safe". What the hell? FML

#20712090
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61159) - you deserved it (8470)

On 06/07/2013 at 5:20pm - intimacy - by what the fuck (woman) - United Kingdom (Ealing)

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. She pulled down my trousers, saw my Poke-ball boxers, and absolutely lost it. I had to lie next to her in bed for the next 10 minutes hearing her howl with laughter while crying "Dickachu, I choose you!" FML

#20711208
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48327) - you deserved it (57906)

On 06/07/2013 at 3:10am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I went to a water park with a group of friends. As I went down the water slide, some complete turd waffle of a kid in the water kicked his leg out in line with my crotch. The moment I hit the bottom was the moment I think I became sterile. FML

#20709749
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38289) - you deserved it (2783)

On 06/06/2013 at 2:24pm - health - by fuck kids (man) - United States (New York)

Today, at the office, my most annoying client asked me to send her a document. I have now sent it to her over 5 times, in a different format each time, and every single time she replies with, "Not in the requested format". She won't tell me what the requested format is. FML

#20709289
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43423) - you deserved it (3461)

On 06/06/2013 at 8:38am - work - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, I went to the gym for the first time in a while. I was doing upper body workouts and decided to ask a very large man to spot me while I did bench presses. As he stood over me, I saw two beads of sweat roll off his nose. One hit me on the cheek. The other landed in my open mouth. FML

#20709141
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44078) - you deserved it (7777)

On 06/06/2013 at 4:49am - misc - by dollabill009 - United States

Today, I got a promotion and transfer at work. My first responsibility is to fire my soon to be father in-law. FML

#20708889
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54035) - you deserved it (2874)

On 06/06/2013 at 1:08am - work - by hesgonnahateme - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I saw a man on my bike that was stolen a few years ago. I asked him if I could have my bike back just wondering what he'd say. He calmly replied, "Hell no, I stole this fair and square." FML

#20708788
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54510) - you deserved it (5855)

On 06/06/2013 at 12:14am - misc - by anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I rescued a little boy who looked like he was drowning in a public pool. His mother then smacked me in the face for "touching him". FML

#20708781
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43584) - you deserved it (2580)

On 06/06/2013 at 12:13am - kids - by butisavedyourkid - United States



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