Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Joli_Plus_God

Search for a member

Joli_Plus_God

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 8486
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Joli_Plus_God : "A smile is the best make up a girl can wear"

I'm 14 years old & a sophomore :3 If you can't tell by my title, I'm a female. I enjoy acting, singing, writing, watching TV, & playing on the computer/ my phone. ;3

Joli_Plus_God's page activity

Visits<b>cheepcheep23</b> - the 11/14/2013 at 11:53am<b>ZombieGuyCXV</b> - the 07/22/2013 at 5:32pm<b>jadeluv</b> - the 07/16/2013 at 2:14am<b>IERTysonI</b> - the 07/13/2013 at 1:34pm<b>ragdoll316</b> - the 07/12/2013 at 5:29pm<b>EARPOLLUTION</b> - the 06/30/2013 at 9:57pm<b>golden_warrior</b> - the 06/28/2013 at 5:34pm<b>13ky13</b> - the 06/27/2013 at 10:49pm<b>CrazyJ716</b> - the 06/24/2013 at 7:50am<b>alicealiveordead</b> - the 06/18/2013 at 2:01pm<b>benmec</b> - the 06/18/2013 at 7:36am<b>rick1</b> - the 06/17/2013 at 10:39pm<b>Roskie</b> - the 06/17/2013 at 9:19pm<b>GayBlowjob</b> - the 06/16/2013 at 3:06am<b>Wizardo</b> - the 06/15/2013 at 6:53am<b>Mornai</b> - the 06/14/2013 at 11:15pm<b>iswimfast03</b> - the 06/12/2013 at 3:20pm<b>that_band_nerd</b> - the 06/11/2013 at 3:32pm

Joli_Plus_God's FML badges

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

See all of Joli_Plus_God's badges

Joli_Plus_God's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend announced to everyone at dinner that she was no longer a virgin. This was news to everyone: her parents, siblings, best friend, and me. FML

#20742151
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69603) - you deserved it (4636)

On 06/23/2013 at 2:55am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, my wife made me moist cat food burgers as a prank. I didnt have the heart to tell her that they tasted better than the ones she usually makes. FML

#20742017
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50548) - you deserved it (4192)

On 06/23/2013 at 1:05am - misc - by kittybad - United States

Today, I found out that my creepy neighbor paid a guy to install a camera in my bathroom. It's been there for three months. The guy he paid? My brother. FML

#20741960
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54409) - you deserved it (3139)

On 06/23/2013 at 12:37am - misc - by part time all the time - United States (Michigan)

Today, while working the graveyard shift at my hotel, it felt a little chilly, so I grabbed a blanket out of the box we usually store old blankets in. 20 minutes later, the live-in maintenance man casually remarked that those blankets are all infected with bed-bugs. FML

#20741908
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45425) - you deserved it (6909)

On 06/23/2013 at 12:10am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my dad invited our very cute neighbor inside to introduce him to me. I was wearing pajamas and hadn't showered in two days due to being extremely sick. FML

#20741405
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47093) - you deserved it (5032)

On 06/22/2013 at 6:59pm - misc - by Selina - United States (Kentucky)

Today, while volunteering at a local museum, I politely told an elderly gentleman to have a nice day. He responded by yelling "NO" and storming off. Everyone looked at me like I was some sort of monster. FML

#20741264
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39988) - you deserved it (3009)

On 06/22/2013 at 5:16pm - misc - by me - United States (Ohio)

Today, being near-broke, I resorted to shopping at Walmart. Barely ten minutes in, an obese sack of lard posing as a human being shoved me away from the bacon I was looking at. I fell, busted my lip, then got screamed at by another woman for not watching where I was going. FML

#20741232
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51322) - you deserved it (11933)

On 06/22/2013 at 4:55pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my boyfriend found an empty snail shell. I tried messing with him by saying the snail had turned into a slug, like caterpillars turn into butterflies. He quickly replied, "Yeah I know. I'm not a tard, babe." and said he'd been taught all that and more back in school. What the hell? FML

#20741108
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44800) - you deserved it (6633)

On 06/22/2013 at 3:28pm - misc - by our kids will be derps (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, it marks the fourth month since my 15-year-old cousin asked me out, then started practically stalking me when I said no. It's also the fourth month of my parents and his constantly telling me to stop overreacting and that it's "just a phase." FML

#20740640
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45334) - you deserved it (3205)

On 06/22/2013 at 10:00am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, while working at my job at a nursing home, I slipped and fell. It wouldn't be so bad if it was just water. No, one of the residents had just had an "accident". FML

#20740385
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42915) - you deserved it (3499)

On 06/22/2013 at 3:20am - work - by no name - United States (Michigan)

Today, my boyfriend and I had a threesome. He suggested we have another guy. It ended up devolving into a twosome, and I wasn't part of it. FML

#20740333
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (79653) - you deserved it (18097)

On 06/22/2013 at 2:39am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I walked in on my grandma playing with herself. Every time I close my eyes, I see things that no mortal was ever meant to see. FML

#20739366
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (72770) - you deserved it (6929)

On 06/21/2013 at 5:00pm - intimacy - by bleeeaaaaaacccccchhhhhhhh (man) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, my drunk dad decided to wake me up by lobbing our cat directly into my now-mauled face. FML

#20739340
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40518) - you deserved it (2862)

On 06/21/2013 at 4:38pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Brabant)

Today, my mom cut off the legs of all my pants, because she says I don't show enough skin for guys. I'm now forced to wear jaggedly cut shorts that barely cover my thighs until I can buy new ones. FML

#20739324
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51318) - you deserved it (5000)

On 06/21/2013 at 4:27pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I came back from the doctor after having been diagnosed with a UTI. My dad now won't shut up about it, saying stuff like, "You must be 'pissed'", "Looks like 'urine' a bit of pain", and "'Urea'-lly need some antibiotics, son", all while making obnoxious finger quotes in the air. FML

#20739103
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43745) - you deserved it (4843)

On 06/21/2013 at 2:05pm - health - by assholedad (man) - United States (Ohio)



FML's blog

  • Pauline's illustrated FML
  • Come on, no need to make that face ! Yep, it's sadly the last, mournful days of Summer. People are packing up their beach balls and flip flops, putting their caravans back into storage and trying to forget…

Friday 28 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: