Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Joli_Plus_God

Search for a member

Joli_Plus_God
  • Town/Country : Fort Worth TX, U.S.A.
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1760
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Joli_Plus_God : "A smile is the best make up a girl can wear"

I'm 14 years old & a sophomore :3 If you can't tell by my title, I'm a female. I enjoy acting, singing, writing, watching TV, & playing on the computer/ my phone. ;3

Joli_Plus_God's last visitors

cheepcheep23ZombieGuyCXVjadeluvIERTysonIragdoll316EARPOLLUTION13ky13CrazyJ716alicealiveordeadbenmecrick1

Joli_Plus_God's FML badges

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

See all of Joli_Plus_God's badges

Joli_Plus_God's favorite FMLs

Today, at work, I politely asked a patron to be quieter; I was hit in the face. I work in a library. FML

#20750109
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40028) - you deserved it (3413)

On 06/27/2013 at 11:02am - work - by rubgy_lover - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my boss fired me for being "too morally ambiguous". I work at a bagel shop and had told a customer that I was indifferent towards cream cheese. FML

#20749746
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36808) - you deserved it (3459)

On 06/27/2013 at 2:22am - work - by confusedbagel (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my cousin thought it would be cool to put a firecracker in an abandoned birdhouse. Before I could tell him not to, it exploded and about 30 wasps came after me like the wrath of God. FML

#20749556
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46969) - you deserved it (4425)

On 06/27/2013 at 12:27am - animals - by EpicJman2828 (man) - United States

Today, I rode my motorcycle to an appointment and parked in the parking garage. When I got out, some ass had pushed my bike from the spot and had boxed it in between the wall and his car. Apparently, he felt he deserved the spot more than me and didn't care if I wanted to leave. FML

#20748752
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37703) - you deserved it (3330)

On 06/26/2013 at 4:49pm - misc - by MadMax - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, a neighbor's kid decided to pick a fight with me because I'm "the new kid in town and need to learn who's in charge". When I told him I'm 27, he said excuses like that aren't going to get me off the hook. I just moved here and I'm already being harassed by a twelve year old. FML

Today, I was going to set up my air conditioner in the window. As I opened up the window, I must have disturbed a wasp nest, because a dozen wasps flew in and several of them stung me. The rest are now somewhere in my house with my terrified girlfriend. FML

#20748461
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38314) - you deserved it (3430)

On 06/26/2013 at 1:51pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I faced my severe phobia of spiders in order to remove a rather large one from my home. After 20 minutes of desperate struggling, it was finally taken care of. Relieved, I sat down and glanced across the hallway just in time to see a second, equally large spider strutting across the wall. FML

Today, while walking around town, some guy grabbed me from behind, clutched at my nipples, and said, "That's where I always imagined they were." FML

#20746398
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48614) - you deserved it (3681)

On 06/25/2013 at 1:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was sitting on the couch with my family. They didn't even notice me there until the dog started barking at me because I took his spot. My mom defended the dog, and now I'm sitting on the floor while a Pomeranian takes up half the couch for himself. FML

Today, I got harassed and screamed at by a middle-aged man for parking in a spot close to the store, because he wanted the same spot so he didn't have to walk so far with his groceries. He took a photo and vowed to report me to the authorities. FML

#20746334
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38304) - you deserved it (3389)

On 06/25/2013 at 12:23pm - work - by couch girl - Singapore

Today, I was bored so I began to try to convince my boyfriend that Albert Einstein was actually African-American, and that he painted himself white so he would be accepted as a scientist. Due to his competitive nature, he replied, "I already knew that babe." FML

#20745866
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45334) - you deserved it (7862)

On 06/25/2013 at 2:12am - misc - by anonymous - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I held a party for my family so I could announce my pregnancy. In the middle of my speech, my mother stopped me, saying, "Nobody gives a rat's ass, where's the booze?" FML

#20745652
82 comments

Today, my daughter's obsession with Canada got out way of hand when she was suspended for climbing up the flagpole, in an attempt to replace the flag with a red-and-white maple leaf one. FML

Today, I took my girlfriend of nearly 2 years out to dinner so I could propose. When the waiter brought the check, I caused a bit of a scene to get everyone's attention. When I got on my knee and proposed, she said no and asked if I could hurry up and pay, because she was embarrassed. FML

#20744819
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52360) - you deserved it (14224)

On 06/24/2013 at 4:26pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I was eating an ice cream cone, when I felt something drop onto my bottom lip. Assuming it was a piece of ice cream, I quickly pulled it into my mouth. After a sharp sting to my tongue, I spat it out. It was a bee. FML

#20744693
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43116) - you deserved it (6129)

On 06/24/2013 at 2:49pm - health - by SillyScotsman - United Kingdom (South Lanarkshire)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: