Joe9024

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Offline (the 01/26/2015 at 9:48pm)

Joe9024

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 24 July 1990 (25 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1533
  • Number of comments : 159
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About Joe9024 : I'm a fun lovin redneck! What's not great about that!?

Joe9024's page activity

Visits<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 05/26/2016 at 9:44am<b>raven83</b> - the 02/11/2016 at 9:00am<b>yourmomshotfirst</b> - the 02/01/2016 at 7:52pm<b>kittykat1501</b> - the 01/22/2016 at 9:54am<b>Raleaf</b> - the 01/21/2016 at 1:21am<b>sarika</b> - the 12/28/2015 at 11:48pm<b>PremiumWhale</b> - the 12/16/2015 at 8:47pm<b>Allornone</b> - the 11/10/2015 at 10:09pm<b>panromantic</b> - the 10/26/2015 at 7:37am<b>azemazer</b> - the 10/12/2015 at 12:17am<b>lilferrit</b> - the 10/08/2015 at 11:34pm<b>toastbrot</b> - the 10/03/2015 at 1:27am<b>One_Way</b> - the 07/18/2015 at 11:20am<b>ImaginaryPerson</b> - the 06/23/2015 at 11:09pm<b>JazzHandsFML</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 2:09pm<b>singer0421</b> - the 02/15/2015 at 3:20pm<b>Kielnmsoftly</b> - the 12/24/2014 at 6:15am<b>loveblondie</b> - the 12/10/2014 at 1:06am

Fucked!<b>kittykat1501</b> - the 01/22/2016 at 3:55pm

Joe9024's FML badges

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

See all of Joe9024's badges

Joe9024's favorite FMLs

Today, after a long and stressful day, I started fooling around with my boyfriend. When we finally got to the main event, I found out that we couldn't, because he'd used all his condoms to make water balloons. FML

by frustrated / 08/17/2013 at 6:56pm / Ireland (Kerry) / Intimacy

Today, I woke up to a strange noise. I looked over to see my drunk husband standing at the dresser. I asked him what he was doing. "Peeing." I asked him, "In the sock drawer?" There was a pause. "Am I peeing in the wrong drawer?" FML

by speechless / 07/13/2013 at 10:32am / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, while life-guarding in a 55+ community, I greeted a man by saying: "Good morning Sir!" He responded with, "Cut the shit kid, I'm not that fucking old." FML

by Anonymous / 06/25/2013 at 5:45pm / United States (New Jersey) / Work

Today, my husband finally returned from his 18-month deployment. Sexually starved, we wasted no time getting busy. Later as we finally cooled off, I got a message from my Aunt. She was hiding in our closet the whole time to surprise us with cake for his safe return. FML

by jgtrflynn / 06/24/2013 at 12:37am / United States (Oklahoma) / Intimacy

Today, I was teasing my 6-year-old sister about having a boyfriend. I asked her, "Did he take his shirt off?" She promptly said no. A few minutes later, she said, "But he did take his pants off." I then asked why. She said, "To show me his penis." FML

by joe / 06/23/2013 at 7:36pm / United States (Maryland) / Kids

Today, it's been weeks since some asshat started placing gnomes in my front and back yards. I resorted to setting up cameras, which I thought had deterred the idiot, until I walked into my kitchen this morning and found two gnomes on the counter. Nothing on the tapes. I'm freaking out here. FML

by ilivealoneandwhatthefuck / 06/23/2013 at 1:02pm / Guam / Miscellaneous

Today, being near-broke, I resorted to shopping at Walmart. Barely ten minutes in, an obese sack of lard posing as a human being shoved me away from the bacon I was looking at. I fell, busted my lip, then got screamed at by another woman for not watching where I was going. FML

by Anonymous / 06/22/2013 at 4:55pm / United States / Health

Today, I was eating lunch when my grandmother came over and started watching me. Suddenly she said, "I see you're getting breasts". I'm a guy. FML

by ohmygod / 06/20/2013 at 1:49am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend told me he hasn't been to the dentist in two years and definitely doesn't plan on it because, "That's just how the government steals more money." FML

by RoyallyGrossedOut / 06/19/2013 at 3:22am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was planning on having sex with my girlfriend for the first time, so I asked my roomate to stay out of our apartment. About half-way through, my roomate blared "The Eye of the Tiger" from the other side of the door. My girlfriend laughed so hard that we couldn't finish. FML

by Anonymous / 06/18/2013 at 12:16pm / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy

Today, my husband was in our newborn's room, holding and talking to him. I guess he forgot the baby monitor, because I overheard him say, "Wanna know a secret? Daddy kills people." I really hope he was just quoting Dexter. FML

by imarriedanaxemurderer / 06/18/2013 at 1:01am / United States (Illinois) / Kids

Today, I went to a bar for some drinks. A guy looked me up and down, gave me a suggestive smile, then asked for my name and number. I'd have been a little less creeped out if he hadn't been standing beside me at the urinal the whole time. FML

by Sovekipisse / 06/15/2013 at 6:24pm / France (Pays de la Loire) / Love

Today, at a family reunion, my visibly drunk grandparents heard about my new boyfriend, who is a cop. My gran asked if he ever made me feel like Rodney King in the bedroom. Then my grandpa, fresh off a DUI, asked if my boyfriend's dick is as bent as the police force. FML

by Anonymous / 06/15/2013 at 1:22pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, after dating for almost a year, I decided to introduce my parents to the man I was sure I'd fallen in love with. When dad saw him, his and my boyfriend's face completely dropped. I asked them what was wrong because I could feel the discomfort. Turns out, I'm dating my dad's drug dealer. FML

by explanations / 06/14/2013 at 2:48am / United States (Illinois) / Love

Today, my boyfriend dumped me, accusing me of lying to him about "being a hermaphrodite". His almost total lack of knowledge about female anatomy led him to believe that my clitoris is actually an extremely tiny penis. FML

by Hannah / 06/13/2013 at 12:19pm / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy