About JocelynKaulitz : Name's Jocelyn, get at me babes!
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You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
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You've received 68 likes on your profile. Kinky.
JocelynKaulitz's favorite FMLs
Today, I discovered that the odd creaking noise I hear when I walk down the stairs is actually a crack that had been getting larger over the years. I found out when I fell through and plummeted to the stairs below. FML
by Oldhouse / 07/21/2014 at 11:46pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was at the local grocery store. I've had really bad gas lately, and I accidentally let one go while standing in line. The woman behind me thought it was her kid, and smacked him for farting in public. FML
by Anonymous / 07/19/2014 at 1:39pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was at a party, and someone called the cops on us. I dove into a bush that turned out to have thorns. I got multiple cuts and a sprained wrist, and got arrested anyway. Its kind of hard to hide from the police when you're screaming in agony. FML
by Anonymous / 07/19/2014 at 7:35am / United States (Missouri) / Health
by NoSexForMe / 07/13/2014 at 3:46am / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, I decided to tan naked in a secluded part of my yard, so I wouldn't get tan lines. I even felt adventurous enough to leave my bikini and towel inside. This idea backfired however when my mom stopped home from work, assumed I wasn't home, and locked all the doors before she left again. FML
by Anonymous / 07/13/2014 at 12:08am / United States / Miscellaneous
by and god shat / 07/11/2014 at 7:38pm / United States (Oregon) / Animals
by Anonymous / 07/11/2014 at 7:03am / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids
by oh my fucking god / 07/10/2014 at 9:34am / United Kingdom (Derby) / Love
by Sun_Kissed18 / 07/09/2014 at 3:26am / United States (New Jersey) / Health
by anona / 07/08/2014 at 12:29pm / Denmark (Hovedstaden) / Intimacy
by iphonerevolution / 07/04/2014 at 8:15pm / South Africa / Kids
Today, I parked my motorcycle in a parking spot. When I came back, my bike had been moved and was laying on its side with a note saying, "Sorry I dropped your motorcycle I was trying to move it forward so I could park my car because there weren't any other spots." FML
by AJL / 07/03/2014 at 9:30pm / United States / Transportation
Today, I put on some sexy lingerie, ready to have some fun with my husband. I found him in the living room, opening a bag of doritos in front of the TV. He saw me and understood. Then he looked back at the doritos, then back at me and said gravely, "No way, babe. No way." FML
by Anonymous / 06/27/2014 at 7:50pm / United States (Colorado) / Intimacy
Today, my son got a beating. Apparently, he went to a club, waited until he saw a couple of girls pulling a duckface for a photo, then rushed over and threw pieces of bread at them. Their boyfriends, not too surprisingly, didn't appreciate this. I had to drive the idiot home from the hospital. FML
by Anonymous / 06/27/2014 at 5:15pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health
Today, I was talking to my boss about dogs and cats. I'm a dog person; he's a cat person. He told me that he likes cats better, because they are laid back and don't do anything all day. Before I could stop myself, I blurted out, "Just like you?" FML
by Respect101 / 06/25/2014 at 8:20pm / United States (Texas) / Work
- 1Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 2Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's… 3Today, I asked a customer to send me via e-mail the image he wanted me to print. He said, "I don't…